So we’re invited to a relative’s son’s b-day party. Invitation says please donate to a charity of your choice instead of bringing a gift.
I understand why. The family is visiting from another country so can’t take back a ton of stuff.
Should I give the b-day boy $ or just donate to charity like the mom asked?
I’ve never been in this predicament before. Thanks.
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
its hardly a predicament :d
its quite nice of them to ask for this actually… and so mighty big of the bday boy himself.. most kids would say no no no i want pressies. 
just donate to your mosque or a cause you believe in.
we are doing a small bday party for my son who is turning 5 soon and thats what we have asked of the guests. to give cash donations that works towards the building of a well in his dear dadi’s memory (they had a very special bond).
so since a specific charity hasnt been named, just find one that you find ‘appealing’ and donate away
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
Love the idea!! And a great way to teach kids and involve them about helping the needy, maybe involve your kids in giving cash/kind donation to the charity you choose
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
Kid is turning 2…so not sure if he really had a say. The reason I was thinking of giving cash was because I don’t like going to a birthday party empty handed and the boy’s mother has been very generous in the past with gifts she has given to my daughter.
I do like the idea of donating to charity though. It is a very noble thing for them to ask this.
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
I have thought of doing the very same thing for a house warming party in future for myself.
I’s a very nice gesture on their part, shows compassion. Wonderful people :k:
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
You could get him a small gift that they can pack easily with luggage. Or give him a gift card/money that he can get a gift if his own choice with. You don’t have to do one or the other…you can still give to charity AND also give the boy something.
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
I have been to few weddings where they have picked out a charity, listed the information on the invitation and we have donated. I think it’s great that people are doing this.
You should donate to a charity and get a nice birthday card and list the charity information on it…you can hand the card over to the parents.
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
you can always take flowers or a home made/store bought cake or cupcakes or cookies or a box of chocolates if you don’t want to go empty handed.
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
if it was my b-day and my parents asked for charity instead of gift … i would be pissed
i liked rania’s idea…getting a card.
the parents may not like their wishes not being respected if you bypass their desire and still get the kid a gift.
if you must… maybe get flowers or a box of chocolates …
but no more than that. they must kniw what they are doing when they asked for donations instead of gifts.
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
U can take balloons along with the card.
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
I don’t get it, they specifically said that’s what they want…so what’s the predicament?
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
Whenever we have a birthday or shower or any gift giving occasion, I always ask that instead of a gift to please donate to my boat fund.
I agree. If they specifically asked for a donation to be made in lieu of a physical gift, I would do just that and not feel the need to still give the child something.
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
What a great idea, I have never been to desi gift giving occasion where they have asked for donation to charities instead though, even though I have seen them asking for “no boxed gifts” a lot. May I ask if they are desi folk, Pakistani in particular? I would donate to their charity and give them a birthday card and write that how you feel it was very touching and maybe get a small toy for the child as well as a 2 year old can get excited about toys and birthdays.
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
LOL…the predicament was that I didn’t want to go empty handed.
I ended up donating to a charity and listing that information in the birthday card and also gave the kid some money in the card. So I basically did both.
Thanks for the advice. I get the instructions were clear…I get that…I just didn’t want to go empty handed so wanted to know if people would just donate to charity and not give the b-day kid anything (not even money) or do both.
Re: B-day party invite asking for donation instead of gift
Yes, they are Pakistani.