This morning I was chatting with a close friend of mine who is in Pakistan…he is getting married in December and sounded very excited about the whole thing. So we were talking and I excused myself from attending his wedding as it is a short notice for me. I asked him about the girl and he couldn’t stop praising her looks…I got a little inquisitive and asked him to send me her picture… (yeah it’s a big thing among guys to show the trophy..) so with in a few seconds I had mail….Lo and behold! the girl is stunning.…anyways, so I asked him further about girl’s background, qualifications etc and they were not very impressive to say the least…It seemed like a case of Reema.. gorgeous girl but its wise if she keeps quiet kinda deal. Well, the guy was so happy that I didn’t spoil it for him but at the risk of sounding not too jealous I told him not to go for the looks only…make sure u r compatible etc but buddy is so in love that he is not even giving it a second thought, primarily the reason being that the girl is absolutely gorgeous.
I was just thinking about the whole deal …Do us guys get pressured by the society, parents, friends etc when it comes to girls and looks? Does she have to be a trophy? What happens to all the average looking girls who are in majority? How do they cope with it in our racial and discriminatory society…How does it work for parents whose daughter is not a showcase material? How does arrange marriage setup work in that case? A few years ago I was guilty of the same thought process as my friend’s… but I think as you mature your priorities change…oh well! I should sleep
Well, its really hard for us average looking girls to survive in this type of society where we get to hear such comments right from the begining, not from others but also from people very close to us. So, been through that...I mean if someone tells me today that I am cute or good looking, even I take time to accept it...
And Bosh many guys take it in this way that once they are married they can always work on the girl.. you know what I mean... groom her and all... which isn't bad I guess.
I think everyone has the right to have some ideal and everyone tries to achieve that. If the guy is happy with that than who are we to comment on that...
wells hmm I dunno I think it depends on the guy. They certainly don't get pressured in any culture or society to go for the 'hot ' only in looks girl they usually make that mistake on their own.
I mean it's ok you should go for someone you're at least attracted to .. regardless how everyone else thinks he or she looks. But yeah to only care about that and not even care or know what that person is even like!?
Well if things don't work out ..you get what you deserve!
Personally I've rejected so many 'hot'girls that sometimes people think I'm crazy..
Sorry you're just gonna have to do a lot more then look nice to get me interested.
On the otherhand girls are so obsessed with how they should look ( I guess society is partly to blame ) that they forget what really should matter. I've seen even really attractive girls try and get by on looks alone .. and in most cases it does work.
I mean for example just look at all the singles ads out there. A lot of times a girl will just put up her pic and say
'Nice girl looking for nice guy'
and that's about it. Well yeah you're gonna get exactly the kinds of guys you want responding to an ad like that! lol
as far as all the other poor 'unattractive' people in the world.. hmm wells sometimes
those are also the only ones who bother to develope a personality! ;)
It's gotta suck though! I cannot imagine the hell the parents and relatives must put them through!
Hmm...this depends on the guys attitude..and more importantly the meaning of a "wife" to him.
For those that have the right meaning of "wife" in their heads they will look for the rite quaities rather than looks...
Guys and girls both are guilty of the same thoughts on outward appearance...and yes both are pressured..more so guys...with girls I guess it's a matter of being fussy...with guys it's more of a prestige issue.
Boss, look at it this way... all women become the same after eating Nikah Choo-aaraas. So who cares about the personality, hain jee. They will all nag in a similar manner anyway. One thing that is in your hands is the way she looks. So at least one thing is guaranteed that she is gorgeous.
but yeah life is hard now a days for simple looking girls with high educations as most people are either afraid of high educated girls or simply dont like their color.
People seems to go towards the good looks without any other qualites.
but then its their own choice and theya re the one to spend life with their selected wife not us so bugger it.
Not everybody sees the same girl as beautiful. As they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My friends taste in women and mine never correlate. Actually the tastes differ so much that we would never end up hitting on the same girl. Physical attributes are superficial. But no girl is average, as different guys find different things attractive.
I was just thinking about the whole deal …Do us guys get pressured by the society, parents, friends etc when it comes to girls and looks? Does she have to be a trophy?
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Hmmm...personally speaking I don't think it would need too much pressure from society, parents or friends to make me consider a beautiful girl...weird though it might sound.
That said, you can only spend so much time looking at something before the novelty wears off...and then you have to live with what's underneath and who's to say she won't turn out to be a stroppy bitch?
They all get married, average looking or not. You mentioned that most people are "average" looking. Most people also get married. Therefore, they all find someone, but it may not be their ideal candidate, and even then, why would someone who is considered average(or whatever) looking want to be with someone who wouldnt find them attractive and wants someone they consider good looking? People grow on you, thats a wonderful thing about relationships.
I have gone from looking hideous to looking nice, to looking hideous again, and I had rishtas during all those stages. So have all of my other friends, good looking or not.
Sometimes we think what is ideal for us in a rishta really isnt.
As per your friend, I've told you my view on that elsewhere. smile
And what makes you think Reema is a bimbo? She is very well educated and you can tell as soon as she opens her mouth that shes very intelligent, and shes got a great personality. Have you ever heard her speak, and I dont mean in films Im talking about real life. Shes not just a pretty face.
Religion and Character are more important than Looks. Looks are only superficial. To the wise the real beuty comes from whats within. Only fools would look at just looks and fall in love in my opinion.
To all you average looking girls out there, never believe you are average, because then you will be treated as such. Work on your character and religion and trust me, the man you find will be the one u`ll want to spend the rest of your life with.
yeah but the same thing happens in the workplace... i remember during my IBL year... when we were all applying for jobs, the girls who wore the least amount of clothes (who hardly ever attended classes for the soul purpose of learning).. they were the ones who ended up working for companies like KPMG, ANZ, Andersons Consulting.... so it all starts way before it even gets to marriage..
i reckon if the guy is right in the head.. and has his priorities straight.. im sure an average looking, intelligent, cooking maid will look gorgeous to him :)
about the nagging thing.... an understanding biwi will prob cut that down by 25% (i think)
Originally posted by sadzzz: *
*... i remember during my IBL year... when we were all applying for jobs, the girls who wore the least amount of clothes (who hardly ever attended classes for the soul purpose of learning).. they were the ones who ended up working for companies like KPMG, ANZ, Andersons Consulting.... so it all starts way before it even gets to marriage..**
did you stop to think for a minute that aside from their dress they may have other reasons to do well. e.g. maybe they knew that it was Andersen consulting and not andersons consulting :)
It is however written in many studies that better lookign ppl tend to get more opportunities, society in general is biased towards better looking ppl. However usually there is no picture on a resume :) so the fact that the good looking ppl were invited to interview would mean that they were more than just how they look physically.
Now no matter what we say about looks not being important, they are. ppl's idea of beauty is different and how much it is a factor is different, but I doubtthat anyone would get married to someone whom they did nto find physically attractive, and justbased on their personality.
woops.. that explains why i didnt get an interview but then again i never applied
actually during IBL.. everyone gets an interview.. not a select few.. every student who sends a resume gets to give the interview as everyone has studied jsut about the same subjects but yes i do agree.. good looknig people are desired.. especially in retail
not sure about males.. but i know a few females who have married or are engaged to guys soley cus of their personalities. they have admitted they are not physically attracted to their partner.. but oh well at least they get along.. but this is a small percentage neways
I told him not to go for the looks only…make sure u r compatible etc but buddy is so in love that he is not even giving it a second thought, primarily the reason being that the girl is absolutely gorgeous.
but then again i never applied