why does everyone think they know better than me on what I WANT FOR MY WEDDING DAY…westerners get married and do everyhting all by themsevles, they plan their perfect day and they have exactly what they want and invite exactly who they please.
why is it , on our desi weddings, the actual bride and groom get no say what soever…cant not invite some long lost mongolian uncle otherwise log lya boleingay, every tom dick and harry my parents may have met down the high street needs to be invited, as well as me wanting to wear something unusual alwyas gets the look, i wanted some outfits in black, not for the actual wedding, but days after, i got frowns fro aunties, who said dulhan aisey nahi penthey and so on and so forth…every minuscule detail gets shredded…and to top it off every day i get phone calls from pakistan asking me khana kam khao smart hoke ao.( IM not even that big below avergae size but yet im not smart enuff its such a headache…and its all from the auntijis…
It's a cycle, they never got to plan their own wedding and now they want to butt into yours :) sorry hun, the easiest way to handle it is just to put up with it and be happy about the decisions you DID get to make. And also about the "smartness" it's because they just want to put in their two cents, so when they see you and lets say you lost weight, they can take the credit. Just return it with "haan haan, aap bhi smart banke aiye" lol (I would't be able to say that to their face tho, but I would really want to if they did).
why does everyone think they know better than me on what I WANT FOR MY WEDDING DAY....westerners get married and do everyhting all by themsevles, they plan their perfect day and they have exactly what they want and invite exactly who they please.
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Hahahaha, you're totally wrong about westerners getting to do everything themselves. They don't. Haven't you ever popped open a bridal magazine and seen all the advice columns about how family is driving them crazy, how mother-in-law is inviting 329048023 people, how uncle so and so is a drunk and will embarrass them at the reception, how mom is so controlling about the flowers and the wedding dress....seriously, wedding problems are a universal deal.
lol yehhh lekin with me, because im fairer than my cousins they all gather around me and are convinced i spend my time here in the uk bleaching my face....my mums fair, yet they wont look at genes, theyll look in my makeup bag and try to find some sort of evidience that im bleaching my face.....
all of them wear fair n lovely over there in pak, so are astonioshed that we dont wear it here.
I dont why my inlaws areso obsessed with pholoon ka haar . In my engagement they made me wear the haar all the time I was wishing not to wear it in my wedding again I was FORCED to wear it all the time and believe me it completely damages the look of dupata and the over all look as well.
Till now on gupshup also I have not seen a Paki bride wearing pholoon ka haar but I was helpless and had to wear it!
Similarly, the use of ubtan . I am fair and use of ubtan was making me look dull plus it was causing rashes on my skin but still the in laws haaa haiii ubtan nahi lagai so I just thought that it's better I lie so I did and I told them that i have applied ubtan.
I hate people who boss around esp when inlaws think that they have got some sort of ownership certificate upon the bride and can make her do anything they want !
I agree with you about the in laws, diamond321! My MIL is insisting I get my nose pierced and wear a nose-ring on the wedding day! But luckily my mum supports me and says it's my nose and I can do whatever I want with it :)
AND my mum made me black dresses for my jahez too (though I rarely wear black). One of them is really heavy and I plan on wearing in one of those post-shaadi dawats :)
oh yehhhhhhhhhhhh on my engagement my aunts made mw wear some heavy duppata on top of my outfit duppata too..and the phoolon ka haar.....i was hot sweaty, had candles in my face, and to top it off, i was all shy and nervous on my dholki, hence i had my head down and looked like how a bride should....i was then crucified for looking so glum and boring.....so on the engagement which happened next day, i was looking more upbeat and smilieyhowever this wasnt good enough either, all the aunties wer elike hai isse deko kitni khush aur has has kay baathey kari hain, sharam nahi ari isey i was gunned down then too...
I dont get why in-laws want u to wear shockin red after the wedding- I hate that colour- so why? Whats wrong with a normal blood red colour instead of givin others heart attacks!
Plus my mums got me black which I intend to wear dontt care wat my saas has to say bout it. Black is my favourite colour plus it makes me look thin ;)
I dont why my inlaws areso obsessed with pholoon ka haar . In my engagement they made me wear the haar all the time I was wishing not to wear it in my wedding again I was FORCED to wear it all the time and believe me it completely damages the look of dupata and the over all look as well.
Till now on gupshup also I have not seen a Paki bride wearing pholoon ka haar but I was helpless and had to wear it!
Similarly, the use of ubtan . I am fair and use of ubtan was making me look dull plus it was causing rashes on my skin but still the in laws haaa haiii ubtan nahi lagai so I just thought that it's better I lie so I did and I told them that i have applied ubtan.
I hate people who boss around esp when inlaws think that they have got some sort of ownership certificate upon the bride and can make her do anything they want !
omg i hate that so much...why do they think like that!!????
you should be happy they care enuff about you to owrry and do so much. they<ve accepted you as hteir dil, they want ot celebrate, ur in laws please themselves, do as they wish, amke them happy. show them you love them. odn<t complain. hsow htem you are agreed upon eveyrhting they do and you like it. start your life on happy note. these are little things, don<t sweat it, don<t waste your time thinking these things. only think positive stuff aboput ur in laws then your life will be truly happy.
it s no biggie. so what if you had to wear soemthing you don<t like for a day. just do it for your in laws sake. if you do things to mkae your in laws happy your husband will love you even more.
all those aunties aren<t that bad. maybe they actually love you.
The family interference isn’t something I’m going to have to go thru Thank God, have told my parents we will arrange everything ourselves but their input is still welcome for guest lists and all that. Ours is an extreme case but having seen how much damage they can do first hand (my brother’s marriage looks like it’s actually going to be called off just cos my parents and the girls parents won’t agree on the date ) I have no intention of letting the same thing happen to me
soni the typing at the beginning of ur reply makes it look like u were drunk when it was written lol =)
n lol starcity at the heart attack red colour hehe
im not allowed black too =(
my MIL got me a gorgeous black karma suit for my engagement but.....u guessed it...... everyone was like nooooooooooo u can't wear it its bad luck!!!!!
so i had the prob with my family not my in-laws they r very chilled in these matters it my side that refuses to let me wear black. however its not just us paki's that r like this, i was talking to my friends friend at a party n she said that indians r even worse than us.
they r not even allowed black embroidery !!!! forget a black suit!!! so i think these r just cultural superstions.
its not religious is it? =S
yeh y do family members interfere?????? sometimes it makes me wanna scream even tho im probably the most calmest person ur ever gunna meet! one of these days im guna unleash the bridezilla inside me n theres no turning back lol
I was also forced to wear nose ring/nath on my wedding and valima . my inlaws too forced me to get my nose pierced BUT i told them it's my nose and its me who is going to decide abt it ! Besides my nose was too small for such kind of torture. They were upset with it I didnt care but yes I did wear a clip on my nose to put the nose ring and I dont mean to scare u but I still have the scar of that clip on my nose even after 3 months on nose.
some people i know wont even allow the brides in the family to wear white as its the colour widows are supposed to wear...again a hindu tradition coming through.
gotta love desi aunties and their drama...i just say hear it from one ear and out the other..do what u wanna do its ur day its ur life if people are interfering too much just straight out let them know in a respectable manner.
