Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
Yes. But it doesn't have to be physical. It could be emotional, intellectual or a traumatic situation that brings them together.
But the physical aspect from the male perspective has to fit in at some point.
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
It can grow, However it would be one sided. For example when you see someone you have that attraction however that person may not feel the same for you until he/she gets to know you.
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
^ditto.
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
I think it can grow from both sides
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
There should be at least some attraction going into the marriage. Not having any attraction at all....seems more risky to me. Sure, it might develop. But what if it doesn't?
Then again....the attraction could be there from the get-go....only to fizzle and pop soon after the marriage.
Still....(to me anyway), it seems like less of a risk if you're attracted to the individual you plan to marry.
Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
Have you talked to your parents about the issue mentioned in your previous thread, WF? If so, what happened?
Have you talked to your parents about the issue mentioned in your previous thread, WF? If so, what happened?
I was extremely confused about it so I told my parents that its upto them whether they accept or reject,and they have accepted it,but I don't seem to be happy about it :(
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
i think it can either grow or be there right from the start......it's not the same all the time...u can never tell
in my case there have been people, things, places towards which i was attracted to from the start.....and there's also been the case where i had initially not like something/someone/place and later on got attracted to it or liked it
I was extremely confused about it so I told my parents that its upto them whether they accept or reject,and they have accepted it,but I don't seem to be happy about it :(
No, sweetheart......you have to do some compromising here. I remember you felt a bit confused about your cousin. If you reject him....your parents will get upset. Instead....be honest with them by CALMLY telling them that while you don't feel attracted to him and while he's not what you had in mind....you're willing to get to know him....although that isn't a guarantee that you'll say yes. They may feel a bit relaxed that you're willing to get to know him.
^I understand that your parents really like him, but I doubt that they would want you to be stuck in a life-time of misery. Is it worth brining them only a few months of happiness (by saying yes to the rishta).....and then being miserable the rest of your life....or perhaps (God Forbid) end up with a divorce? Is that a reasonable bargain? A few months of bliss for a life time of frustration? Should your parents put the time/effort/MONEY into arranging a wedding where their own daughter isn't happy? Is that fair to your parents? Is it fair to the guy and his family?
^Be honest about your feelings....but say you'll try to get to know him....and tell them that getting to know him might mean a rejection if you don't find him compatible.
*******************OTHER SUGGESTION:* Try talking to the guy (your cousin). Is he someone you can trust? Maybe you can explain to him that you're not interested and you feel like you're being pressured by parents. Maybe he might help you out by rejecting the rishta himself FIRST. And if he rejects FIRST....that clears the way for you.
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
^ Thanks Hun,you are so sweet..Yes,I'm looking forward to talking with my parents regarding this.
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
Attraction in what sense?
Anyhow, it can grow or decline. It may decline for a short time and may appear again.
Human mind is not predictable.
Sometimes one needs to work on it if other things are going good.
Physical attraction is a good thing in the beginning but may fade out somewhat and after a while , when people grow old and yet, love may continue or grow.
Now, if love fades out completely then there is problem.
I see all the time two very unattracted individuals living happily together.
^ Thanks Hun,you are so sweet..Yes,I'm looking forward to talking with my parents regarding this.
I read your previous thread as well and I agree with RV that you should get to know him first and than make the decision. If you have to keep forcing yourself to accept the rishta than there is a problem. You should at least be able to feel content with whats happening if not ecstatic about getting married. Talk to your parents, parents always want the best for their children.
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
Attraction can grow but don't marry a guy if you're hoping it will develop in the distant future. You should find out after a few meetings if you're attracted to him- whether it's his appearance, his personality, or both.
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
For men , it has to be there
For women , it can grow later
My apologies. Mind is a weird thing.
But why???
Re: Attraction? Does it have to be there from the start or can it grow?
for girls attraction will grow after marriage coz there is nothing they can do about it once they are married..
Cauz men go for presence and women go for personality .