There are many different points in time and places that you can do the Nikkah. Some do it months/weeks ahead of the wedding. Some do it at the masjid a few days before the actual wedding events. Some do it at the ceremony before the bride enters, while others wait until both the bride and groom are on the stage before starting the ceremony.
Our families have not started planning the wedding yet, but my fiance and I discuss a lot about how we would like things to be. We’ll have a lot of say in things since we are paying for the wedding ourselves. I personally would love to do an intimate Nikkah at the masjid with family and close friends, followed by lunch, and then do Rukhsati straight from there, and then just do a big Valima the next day. My fiance, on the other hand, really prefers all the traditions associated with the Baraat/Rukhsati function (in terms of the “arrival of the baraat” and all that).
I really want to do my Nikkah in an intimate way. A non-traditional demand of mine is that my fiance and I sit together during the ceremony. Also, I know for a fact that I am going to bawl my eyes out (even though I’m soooo excited to marry him!) and I don’t intend to pay hundreds of $$$ for getting my makeup done only to cry it all off! That’s why I always envisioned having a separate nikkah before the Baraat function.
I live in the GTA, and my family lives in the east end while his lives on the west end. I felt that doing the Nikkah on a separate, less hectic/stressful day would be a good idea. My fiance, however, wants the Nikkah to happen on the same day of the rukhsati. So if we both get what we want, that would mean that we have the nikkah in the morning or early afternoon on the east end of the city (near where I live), and then after that everyone would head home to get ready and then meet at the banquet hall in the evening for the baraat event (which will likely be in the west end). WHEWWWWW that just sounds like a lot of running and driving around for one day! I don’t want to be totally exhausted before the reception even begins! However, I do notice that most Hindu/Sikh weddings have their religious ceremonies in the morning, followed by receptions in the evening - so I guess it IS doable? Any brides have input on this? Would we be biting off more than we could chew by having a separate Nikkah event in the morning and the Baraat/Rukhsati function in the evening?
When/how did you do your Nikkah, or for the brides-to-be, when/how would you like to?
Re: At what point in the wedding process did you do your Nikkah? (Or would like to?)
^ I like this idea. No personal experience, but I’d maybe leave (at least) a day in between the nikah and valima, just so it isn’t hectic and you get some rest. (This option can still include an “arrival” of the baraat with a procession of close family/friends and a dhol etc?)
You can do the morning nikah/evening reception route, but keep in mind you’re going to be up at an ungodly hour to get ready. Then changing/re-doing makeup for the formal reception a few hours later. I imagine this will be even crazier with 2 locations.
Scroll down and check this bride’s nikah/reception pictures. She had an outdoor nikah ceremony, followed by an evening reception indoors on the same grounds : http://www.samsonpro.com/blog/?p=1837
Re: At what point in the wedding process did you do your Nikkah? (Or would like to?)
Considering what you both want, I think it's possible to have separate events on the same day as long as you guys are extremely organized about pulling it off and all your family and close friends are on board with assisting you. I've seen a lot of hindu/sikh weddings that have the morning ceremony and evening reception and it works for them because it's a tradition for them to do it that way so it's nothing new to them. For Muslim families, on the other hand, I believe very few families have tried to do what you want so it'll be a challenge, but not impossible.
I have seen families have a Nikkah at the masjid after Jummah prayer or in the afternoon of a Sat/Sun and then have the Baraat that same evening. So everyone has about 3-4 hour gap to get ready and go to the hall. But the Nikkahs are done at masjids so the Nikkah itself is a lot more low key and less prep involved which makes transition to the baraat event in the evening a lot easier. Maybe you guys can rent out a room at the masjid or an area and have a ceremony set up w/chairs? Or does your masjid have an outdoor area where you guys could set up chairs and a small stage? If you don't care about the set-up, you guys can still request to sit together in the same area and have your families and friends witness everything.
If you want to have your the Nikkah take place at another venue(non-masjid) and then the Baraat at another venue on the same day, you just have to be realistic about the timing and what the guests will do in between. Will they wear the same clothes for both events or do you want them to change? Instead of having the ceremony in the morning have it in the afternoon and that way everyone can wake up later and start getting ready at a more comfortable hour.
And you said you guys haven't started planning yet, but you're trying to get some ideas? Just wanted to say from personal experience that you will probably change your plans several times before you finalize anything if you're at the early stages now. I too came on the forum to get a lot of ideas and feedback which really helped, but until we start full-swing planning I don't know if any of those ideas will pan out based on circumstances and families and whether or not we change our minds. It's good to have ideas and know what you want, but if you remember to be flexible and take things easy it'll be much more fun to plan. Just my 2 cents.