I feel that I’ve hit that point now. I’m realizing, nothing really matters, friends, parties,relationships, and all the side entertainments. I’m realizing how cluttered my life is, my career is on a hold, I’m trying to find a decent job to hold on to. I would’ve been almost done with school but due to irresponsible actions in early youth, I delayed it all. My attempts on saving a pointless relationship. That was a fail and a savior at the same time. Friends, you can’t rely on them forever, it just all fades away, no one is really truly there. waking up and knowing what a nutcase I am in the head, and how I’ve harmed myself for so long. Life just being everywhere it shouldn’t be.
I like spending alone time like a grandma, doing homework or something boring. I’m definitely focusing more on school and career. I don’t care to go out much either anymore unless I’m asked to. Food has become the most precious thing in life. Relationships - I don’t trust anyone, still part hopeful of finding a good spouse, and part heartless. I do plan or hope on finding someone in the next two years, when I’m around 25. Yet still, I’m such a mess right now.
Maybe this should have been a blog. I’m just blabbing, thinking through life and my thoughts are everywhere. Have you guys gone through this? How did you all deal with it? What changes would you guys suggest for me?
Your story is kinda same like mine. It also hit me at golden years of my life around three years ago when I lost a precious relationship. And later I realized that I was the only one in that relation from the start, so why feel self pity. I lagged in my education, career everything looked like all done for me but I stand up, put myself back and started to move again. Lot of positives things happened with me after, my Belief on Allah become stronger because he saved me going any further in that relation that could cause more problems, revealed some faces, give me another chance to start the life and now I'm better, stronger than before out of that hell. What I did is started to pray as much as I can, not saying 5 times right away but if you can it's better and ask forgiveness and be thankful for whatever you have and leave everything on Allah because he knows what's best for us because we humans sometimes think that this is best for us but not in the eyes of Allah and try to hang out in good company, friends who can help you, motivate you because in my case friends, family helped me a lot. See, now my approach in life for finding the right spouse is changed. If I'll look for for my spouse in near future InshAllah, she has to know about Deen. For me if somebody follows the religion properly then he/she will carry every relation truthfully and responsibly whether as a son, brother, daughter, wife etc.
If anything we can do please ask freely and just think positive. Insh Allah everything will be fine.
I feel that I've hit that point now. I'm realizing, nothing really matters, friends, parties,relationships, and all the side entertainments. I'm realizing how cluttered my life is, my career is on a hold, I'm trying to find a decent job to hold on to. I would've been almost done with school but due to irresponsible actions in early youth, I delayed it all. My attempts on saving a pointless relationship. That was a fail and a savior at the same time. Friends, you can't rely on them forever, it just all fades away, no one is really truly there. waking up and knowing what a nutcase I am in the head, and how I've harmed myself for so long. Life just being everywhere it shouldn't be.
I like spending alone time like a grandma, doing homework or something boring. I'm definitely focusing more on school and career. I don't care to go out much either anymore unless I'm asked to. Food has become the most precious thing in life. Relationships - I don't trust anyone, still part hopeful of finding a good spouse, and part heartless. I do plan or hope on finding someone in the next two years, when I'm around 25. Yet still, I'm such a mess right now.
Maybe this should have been a blog. I'm just blabbing, thinking through life and my thoughts are everywhere. Have you guys gone through this? How did you all deal with it? What changes would you guys suggest for me?
Find someone you trust the most and talk to someone real, not just the computer screen or some online forum.
Well I'd say reality hit me two years into uni, then I kinda realized I really wasn't going anywhere. I am still trying to work out where things are going. Just take it a day at a time, I guess.
you're 23 and panicking because you realize that there's two big tasks to be accomplished in life and you're nowhere near to acheiving them: career and spouse. a lot of brown girls feel that way in this day and age. very few girls are serious about a career right when they enter college at the age of 18/19 and they dont really know what they want to do. by the time you're 23, you realize...whoops undergrad's over and i chased after parties/friends/and silly boys that dont really matter any how... but 23 is not a late age to realize that you need to prioritize in life...all those things (friends/parties/boys) are important in your social growth as an individual (ask ppl who are lacking these) but you just have to realize that YOU come before any of the afore mentioned and for you to succeed in the long run...a career is important. Too much of anything is never good. You have to have a balance in life- whether its your social life, you focusing on a career or you finding a spouse. Every time you go to the extreme of anything there's a big chance of you falling over the edge. So maybe you were doing too much of the socializing...but its ok to realize/accept your mistakes and try to find a balance.. good luck. you're young...just focus..you still have plenty of time to do anything you want with your life.
Find someone you trust the most and talk to someone real, not just the computer screen or some online forum.
I do talk to people I trust, and myself enough. Sometimes you need assurance from people who don't know you and aren't just saying it to make you feel better. Thanks though!
Your story is kinda same like mine. It also hit me at golden years of my life around three years ago when I lost a precious relationship. And later I realized that I was the only one in that relation from the start, so why feel self pity. I lagged in my education, career everything looked like all done for me but I stand up, put myself back and started to move again. Lot of positives things happened with me after, my Belief on Allah become stronger because he saved me going any further in that relation that could cause more problems, revealed some faces, give me another chance to start the life and now I'm better, stronger than before out of that hell. What I did is started to pray as much as I can, not saying 5 times right away but if you can it's better and ask forgiveness and be thankful for whatever you have and leave everything on Allah because he knows what's best for us because we humans sometimes think that this is best for us but not in the eyes of Allah and try to hang out in good company, friends who can help you, motivate you because in my case friends, family helped me a lot. See, now my approach in life for finding the right spouse is changed. If I'll look for for my spouse in near future InshAllah, she has to know about Deen. For me if somebody follows the religion properly then he/she will carry every relation truthfully and responsibly whether as a son, brother, daughter, wife etc.
If anything we can do please ask freely and just think positive. Insh Allah everything will be fine.
Good to know you are on track, and I'm not the only one. Good luck to you!
I think 23 is the year when you're stuck... You're too old for. Stuff you used to do and enjoy.. And you're still too young for. Other stuff. Some of your friends are married with kids.. Some are progressing in career and you just wonder what the hell was I doing?? You're not fitting perfectly anywhere.. You're looking for something and you're not quite sure what it is. You're rethinking about the decisions you've made. And regretting some of the stuff.. You don'tkknow who to trust and what the right decision is.
I'm 23 and I think I'm going through the same thing.. It's chaotic while everything is pretty much the same here. Just take it slow one step at a time.. Life has alot of phases ups downs.. They are pass somehow. Some are good n easy. Some are tough. But go with the flow. This time too shall pass and you'll be fine..
Not sure if you feel the same way.. If you want to talk you can pm anytime. Best of luck. :) .
Most people will tell you that your 20s suck. Too old for somethings, too young for lots. Hang in there, kiddo. Your 30s will be better, only you will wish you had the same metabolism as your 20s. :)