I have a 20 month old tantrum throwing toddler on my hands and I don’t know what to do. For the most part of the day Jr. and I are interacting with each other only. (Hubby works long hours and at times even on weekends).
Jr. has started hitting and crying as soon as I tell him not to do something, the word no means that he is gonna scream at the top of his lungs in my face. I have tried hitting him back but he doesn’t get the message so I stopped that. I try ignoring him but he only gets more persistent.
Hubby comes in late and if Jr. wants his way he gets it coz hubby can’t stand the tantrum at the end of a long day. I have tried talking to Jr. as well but he doesn’t seem to understand that either.
Going out is becoming embarassing, saying no to buying a chocolate or not letting him ride on the rides means we are gonna have a meltdown. He is happy when he is left on his own, he doesn’t destroy stuff and is very happy with other ppl just when we say we are ready to leave that is when the prob starts.
Pls share some advice and things that worked for you. JAzak Allah khair
Have u tried time-outs? My girls did the same thing and one of my friend said start putting them in a time-out. I would put them in a corner and they would try to move, run, wiggle, skid, slide, jump their way out but I would grab them and put them in. They stayed there 2 minutes until they understood the meaning that time-out means. I was persistent in the beginning and its so mean when all you wanna do is hug n hold them but its worth a try.
at 20 months all they need is long hugs, seriously if u hug him n rub his back for a while the tantrum will go away. do anything that calms him, cuddle, massage, bath. i don't like time-outs for this age. they become a power-struggle. he might not sit in the designated spot n u'll end up putting him n he running away. and sometimes just giving in a bit is best. if he's asking for rides, candies, chocolates say lets pick one only. diverting also works good. if my daughter creams or cries loud in car for no obvious reason i put on loud music or dvd n she forgets.
^ I was going to say, the calm hugs and kisses are miracle-workers with my 25mo. I used to either ignore or lose my temper. Both responses made her tantrum much worse. She's much better if I hug her, and then talk to her calmly at eye-level. But I think this is different for each kid. Worth a try tho.
I did the hugs and all but in my case all it did was make them throw tantrums more so then i would get frustrated and raise my voice. I thought they really would outgrow the tantrums but they r almost three and its still crazy. The only diff is they somewhat do weigh if the tantrum is worth the timeout but usually its not:(
Automne, how verbal is yours? 20mo is still pretty little. Once she's calm, I can reason with mine and get her to use words because she's been a chatterbox for a while now. But before she could do that, I found she would get even more frustrated cuz she couldn't express herself. The calm talk might not work regularly with him yet.
That is the prob Sahar, mine is still at a gibberish stage, he does understand a lot of what we are saying but we can't reason with him at this time. Time out would just end up being playtime.
He throws a tantrum and then if I ignore him he shouts even louder and the cycle continues till I give in. Also the moment I raise my voice he purses his lips and starts crying jhootee mootee.
It must be hard with another little one on the way. I find it's the hardest when I'm rushed and really just have a lot to get through because these moments require so much patience to be dealt with properly. And they can sense our stress and get set off more easily. You need time to be calm and to get him calm, but that's so hard when you have a million other things to take care of.
Whether you try the time outs or the hugs or something else, is there a way for you to go easy on yourself also, to help the process along?
...also try play groups, taking him out to run around somewhere in a safe space, etc, so it's not all on you to entertain and discipline him?
hmm does he see other kids? interact with other children his age? maybe give that a go? like playdates.. or outings to playcentres where there are other kids..
i havent had an issue with munchkin throwing tantrums or wanting things so badly, so im a bit at a loss with this... with another on the way, im worried. Fingers crossed, he/she has a similar temperament as munchkin wishing badly
I know which munchkin, she gets a bit worried seeing other kids crying and screaming.. it freaks her out.. and she has a huge issue with what others think of her (she is 5 now, so at 20 months it is very different)... I'd take the advise somenoe gave for "distraction" .. and maybe taking him out of the house to playcentres..
Yes I took the first step today and walked into the YMCA in our neighborhood to see what they to offer for kids his age, they have an indoor playground. I just need to get up early so we can also join a local class at the library that teaches toddlers to sign, maybe a little more expression will help him out inshAllah.
Yes I took the first step today and walked into the YMCA in our neighborhood to see what they to offer for kids his age, they have an indoor playground. I just need to get up early so we can also join a local class at the library that teaches toddlers to sign, maybe a little more expression will help him out inshAllah.
Your kid will like the library.My 22 mo enjoys a lot there.I actually would love to take her to the regular story/play time that is around 10:30 am,but it messes her nap schedule and then I have a grumpy kid all day long.I usually take her during late afternoon,and she likes it.
Jr. has started getting up early with his dad around 7.30 and goes down for a nap around 11 or 11.30. The local library has a Sing Sign learn class that I think might do us some good. He already signs for a lot of things so maybe this will help him more.
Sahar, I have tried being more calm with him and lovingly tell him No. It is working a little bit. Diversion is also helping a lot and I have told hubby very bluntly not to say yes to him when he is being fussy, also not to play boxing with him because that only sends across the message that it is ok to hit.
I hope I can continue being calm with him so we can get over this tough phase.
Walikumsalam
My daughter is 25 months old nd son is 11 months old. Sara hits abudi as soon as touches any of her fav toys. Now she hav started biting as well. We try to speak with her but insted of listening she starts crying as well.
Food is a major prob in our home. both of them are extrmely picky eaters. I hav started feeding sara while watching phonics nd songs on youtube. Now she is not readyy to leave laptop at all. If abudi tries touching laptop sara bites him. She cries on top of her lungs as want to take laptop away.
I tried timeout but she runs away. These days im getting extremly tensed nd impatiant with them. today i was littrily shouting at their faces.
I hope things will b better soon
Jazakallah for your advices. ALl of them are worth trying
