How do you handle people who try to drill you down by claiming they are wali-ullahs and know-it-all when it comes to religion?
Every one has their own belief, own trust on God, own faith, own ways of practising the religion. I think its okay to remind some one that its time for Zuhur namaz or Asar namaz or something but to go on about what sins you will get if you dont do this-that-the other! When the topic of parda starts or lets say dancing starts, some people will go on so much that they are the most pious of Allah’s creations to land on earth and those who do dance or lets say wear half sleeves are big sinners.
Who are these people to decide what Allah will take as a sin and what He wouldnt? To advise some one to do what is better in a sweet caring way is different but to proclaim they are a PhD in religion is different! For many reasons, i believe its okay to pray if you have nail polish on. I do follow the most of the important things including Namaz, Fasting, zakat. Ive even gone for ettikaf, read the Quran many times and i avoid practicing the basic wrong doings as well - cheating, lieing, stealing, etc. If i do the most of the important things, why is there a big roar of astaghfirullahs if i pray with nail polish on (for eample). These things, in my view, are insignificant when the intension to pray whole-heartedly is there. I fail to understand why people compete on who is more religous and who knows more about Islam and who is more pious. Also, why the focus is more on whether you have nail polish on or not, whether your right hand is on top of the left one while praying or the left one is on top of the right one. Are these minute things much more important than the more essential things we know of?
Once one of my friends took me to a dars, I didnt want to go but she forced me. Now the lecturer there went on and on and on and on about full sleeves and half sleeves and exposure and what not. I was probably the only one in a crowd of 400 who was wearing half sleeves. I literally got the feeling i was wearing nothing. Its sad how the religion’s essence is derailed with appearance and cultural things and the theme itself gets lost some where.
Do you normally come across people who act wali-ullahs? How do you handle them and how do you handle their direct point-marofying to you on you-know-nothing-about-Islam claims?
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Also, why the focus is more on whether you have nail polish on or not, whether your right hand is on top of the left one while praying or the left one is on top of the right one.
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Are you serious? These are the basic rules to perform your daily prayers, what's next in your list to complain about, why do we need to do wuddu?
Are you serious? These are the basic rules to perform your daily prayers, what's next in your list to complain about, why do we need to do wuddu?
Who said the basic rules should not be followed? As defined, the proper way of namaz is followed. I am talking about how the little details become hoo-haa while the main point derails some where.
As for nail polish, yes i do believe we can pray with it on and have my own reasons for it. I dont want to start a religous debate over whether it is allowed or not allowed but the point is it should not be as big a concern compared to the main essence of praying.
I'm all for a religious discussion but I cannot stand those who have that whole holier than thou attitude. I'll even bear criticism or people telling me that I'm doing something wrong religiously, as long as the advice is given in the correct manner and the person is not being hypocritical. For those who have the holier than thou attitude and are hypocritical themselves... whatever they tell me goes out the other ear... just nod and zone out.
Having said that... I'm not a religious scholar but yes, I have heard that there are different point of views in regards to nail polish and prayer. The minority opinion is that it's allowed. I personally don't pray with nail polish on. But that's me. Other things like which hand is on top, etc... I think those are actually taught when praying and there must be reasons for it so I would think it is important. Different schools of thought vary when it comes to prayer.
The dars thing that you mentioned... you just took what the lecturer said personally and it happens. Just try to remember in the future that if you're going to a religious meeting or discussion of some sort, it is probably best to cover up- not to show others that you cover up but because religious material is being discussed, there might be prayer or readings too... it's just less of a hassle with long sleeves.
I'm all for a religious discussion but I cannot stand those who have that whole holier than thou attitude. I'll even bear criticism or people telling me that I'm doing something wrong religiously, as long as the advice is given in the correct manner and the person is not being hypocritical. For those who have the holier than thou attitude and are hypocritical themselves... whatever they tell me goes out the other ear... just nod and zone out.
Having said that... I'm not a religious scholar but yes, I have heard that there are different point of views in regards to nail polish and prayer. The minority opinion is that it's allowed. I personally don't pray with nail polish on. But that's me. Other things like which hand is on top, etc... I think those are actually taught when praying and there must be reasons for it so I would think it is important. Different schools of thought vary when it comes to prayer.
The dars thing that you mentioned... you just took what the lecturer said personally and it happens. Just try to remember in the future that if you're going to a religious meeting or discussion of some sort, it is probably best to cover up- not to show others that you cover up but because religious material is being discussed, there might be prayer or readings too... it's just less of a hassle with long sleeves.
Exactly my point - if its said in a proper manner and given with reasoning its understandable but to give reasoning like *"Allah miyan gunnah deingein" *
As for the dars, i didnt take it personally but i was surprised that the lecturer could have given way better knowledge to the 400 women there - She could have narrated events from Prophet Muhammad's (pbuh) life, she could have translated ayats of Quran, she could have told about Prophet's (pbuh) wives, his companions, how to pray, details of hajj, what surahs should one esp read during Ramzan, anything at all. The 2 hours of 400 people could have been spent in giving them way better teachings than talking about half sleeves & full sleeves.
You should be open to whatever the other person says...you might learn something....
you need to focus on what that person is saying rather than what he/she himself claims to do or not do..
if a bad person tells you to do something good....you should just focus on the message rather than the person giving it.....
Regarding the namaz, everytime I go to the mosque for prayer, some old baba jee will find something to criticise. "You're not wearing a cap", "Your trousers aren't above your ankles". I don't really mind it, if someone wants to criticise you just learn to take it in stride and not let it affect you, you may end up learning something new.
A Mufti (who spends his whole life, with so many tests of hunger, sleepless nights, killing his legal desires, not fulfilling his basic rights...etc. only in order to dedicate more and more time and energy in learning and understanding the details of all the 'issues' in Islam) once rightly said:
These days, everyone is an expert in Islam, except the experts.
If I tell a well known Dentist that I still want to eat without getting my teeth treated, no matter how many logical reasons he has from authentic books, because I HAVE MY OWN REASONS FOR NOT GETTING MY TEETH TREATED. It is non of his business to call me wrong.
I am sure everyone would laugh at me, but not in case of religion, where the scholar doesn't even charge me (what to talk of heavy charges) for giving an advice behind which is the consumption of his sweat and blood for more than 40 years.
Another difference is that I immediately see the consequences of ignoring the advice of a good dentist but for seeing the consequences of ignoring the advice of a good scholar, either I should have a vision of heart (which people like me don't have) or after I start seeing the angels of the hereafter, but then it might be too late for me to correct myself based on my experience.
A Mufti rightly replied to a person who insisted/persuaded him to re-consider his views about a certain matter: " I only tell the truth on the basis of my knowledge of Quran and Hadith. I don't invent issues, otherwise I would have tried my best to do some amendments in my words in your favor. Why do you force me to make halal something which Allah and HIS Prophet (saw) made haraam for us"
^ Of course, how can we know when we mostly don't have time to sit with them in order to know what they have to go through in life. And I am talking of most of them whose life I closely observed by the grace of Allah (swt). Which government pays them salary that is reasonable. Most of them don't like to show off their sacrifices that is why common people think they always enjoy halwa and sleep. The smiles on their faces deceive many, hiding the list of pains that they go through in life, still they don't charge the questioner for so easily distributing the knowledge that they earned after overcoming so many hurdles in life... Ask someone who has observed them closely, like Junaid Jamshed.
You laugh at them, they laugh at you, you think they are wrong, they think you are wrong - this is how the whole modern day religious business works.
This has been going on forever , there were many who did not agree with even Holy Prophet(SAW). How can we expect people to agree after him.
People will always tell you what they think is right, you have the right to accept it or not.
^ Well said... Mirch and Janwaar bhai your both a lot wiser than I.
Personally everyone has to have some sort of belief and so long as that belief is not harmfull and nobody wants to harm that belief all else is just background noise.
Now I accept rules are rules and we must do our best to stick to them... but as humans some of us cant and I understand that...
What I hate is people who force thier belief on others and people who criticise your beliefs as if your some pagan... I also hate anyone that disturbs the peace... if you dont like something then get lost and find something better... just dont pick on anyone becuase they are different or don't conform to your values.
Generally we can all agree on major rights and wrongs every society has it's norms and you would be an Idiot to ignore or to deliberately do something to inflame them... people like me love thier religion and we dont like anyone making fun of it or disturbing the peace in our homes so naturally there will be a backlash.
The best and most pious people are in my view the quite ones who dont get involved but just keep thier beliefs to themselves and lead by example...
Those who think themselves holier than thou are often imposters... in my books you have to prove it.
If your skilled then you can prove it... if you really are pious then you can prove it too.
Some people don't seem to realize that their method of "guidance" can either motivate others....and thus be rewarding for both parties....OR.....it can end up doing more damage and repel those on the receiving end.
Not too long ago, a fellow teacher told me that the imam had asked her to talk to me about wearing full-length sleeves (that reach the wrist bone) during prayer....as not doing so will render the prayer unaccepted. Now, I honestly did not know about this rule...and I didn't really mind it. Neither the teacher not the imam told me about in an offensive way. It was good to know. Although I believe that whether or not a prayer gets accepted is between the person and Allah. There are women who wear hijab and the rest of their clothes are tight....or the hijabs and jewelry are flashy....and the clothes unintentionally ride up during sujood. It's hard to monitor everyone. And while I think that it's important to try your best....sometimes I wonder that people make religion difficult for themselves and for others when they censure you for the little details....and the more important issues in the grand scheme of things aren't considered.
And I have found that the people who tend to go around preaching to others.......usually make pretty big contradictions themselves. For example.....is it more important to wear full sleeves/hijab/remove the nailpolish....or is it more important to deal with others in a respectful manner? You can adhere to the little things to the tee.....but go against the more major and basic principles of religion.
I think that other thread on tact is applicable here. If I notice an elderly gentleman doing wudhu the wrong way I wouldn't go up to him and declare his namaaz invalid, I'd have to do it in a way that's not offensive or ask the imam or some other elderly gentleman to point out this flaw to him.
Guidance given in a caring way that is actually meant for the purpose of spreading the correct knowledge but is different from over-criticism of others to show that you are more pious.
Most people above have noticed that behaviour so its obvious how prevalent the behaviour is.
