Assertive.....

[Bobby1]

Re: Assertive…

@NavAhmed

I have noticed in some cultures and societies, being aggressive is considered the only suitable option irrespective of situation, whereas in some others, being passive and avoidance at all cost is the thing to do to deal with any aggressive provocation.

Being assertive is ideal but most people find it rather difficult to implement it in real life scenarios for all sorts of reasons such as cultural expectations and norms, perceived self-weakness, a desire to avoid any verbal contact, or feeling very intimidated etc.

You are right about cultures and extreme conditioning where being assertive with say bosses or with parents etc could be considered disrespectful and hence all the pent up anger, anxieties and depressions, I see people put up with things and then have bouts of angers and blow ups. We can change our style ever so slightly as per the video, even when my wife gets mad at the kids she calls them lazy, goes on a long speech about what they did in past etc and they get defensive and there is no resolution. I tried assertiveness with Harris yesterday and it worked really well. I said, I feel you are spending too much time with friends and he will have to make a choice between grades, his athletics and friends and he said he will spend less time with friends so there was a resolution. My first thought was to get mad at him and yell at him, that would have created defensiveness and anger and hurt feelings and everyone would have felt bad and nothing would have been resolved or gotten worse where he would resent studying as it was forced on him.