Asking for money/gifts etc

Lifestyle Relationships
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Looking at the other thread running today, it seems like general consensus that a guy who asks his gf for money is: beigharat, shameless, strange, shady, kameena, jackass, cheap, tacky (well u get the picture)…

I have my own thoughts on it, but wonder what you guys think?..is it tacky if a girl demands gifts from her bf/fiance/husband? Should a person feel awkward asking their siblings/parents for money/stuff??

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc

I think it's important for one to take each situation as it comes. In one example where the guy works and asks for constant money/gifts it reeks of something dodgy. There is nothing wrong with gifting each other but it needs to be based on common understand such as birthdays, anniversaries etc.

In my situation I would only accept gifts if it is my birthday or other relevant event. I was 16 the last time I asked for money and even then it was from my parents. I just feel ashamed/embarrassed asking for it from anyone.

Thank god financially I'm well off and I can enjoy certain luxuries but I live within my limits. As should anyone.

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc

Personally, unless you're already married or on VERY non-formal terms, you should never be asking for gifts, period. The only time I ever asked for a gift was w/ my parents. My best friend and fiance are the only people who ask me what I want or force me to pick between the options they gave. Of course, we are quite close and more than best friends so it's not awkward. My fiance refuses to accept gifts and says I have to wait until we're married before he can ask for specific things. However, I'm really good at picking up his taste and always end up getting something I know he loves. The only time he asked me for something was a Pi Pizza cutter off thinkgeek.com b/c he's obsessed w/ Pi, lol.

That being said, I think it's INSANELY tacky for a girl or guy to be asking for gifts, period. I don't understand those people and when I watch dramas like Maat, I cringe to no end. And most guys I know find it off-putting and annoying if their girl keeps asking for things. Guys in general don't tend to ask for things from their SO/fiancees, esp. desi ones from what I observed. Asking your wife once in a while is cute, and I personally would love it if he did, but that's just me.

As for asking siblings/parents, I don't see the big deal. Guys dont tend to but girls usually end up asking their parents for money or certain things on birthdays etc and parents generally don't think too much about it, esp. when they are under a certain age or unmarried.

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc

Actually I think people would be a good mood to spend their own money to themselves.

I felt guilty to ask money from my parent in my childhood, maybe it also related to a not wealthy family. In my opinion, it's ashamed to enjoy oneself using the money you ask for, because it keeps reminding the hard the people afford to earn their bread.

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc

"is it tacky if a girl demands gifts from her bf/fiance/husband? Should a person feel awkward asking their siblings/parents for money/stuff?? a big no-no is the "demand" thing. As for parents/siblings etc, like above poster, having grown up in a modest income household, we never did ask for anything - since we knew it would break the bank. But nothing wrong in asking parents or grandparents (if they can afford it). Most times elders love to be asked.On the flip side, for a cousin's daughter, we were going to send a gift for her birthday. And she refused. Which is kind of not cool. So it is not all cut and dry.

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc

guy makes money.........asks for gift.........kutta kameena haraami behairat

women makes money....asks for gift........ awwwwwwww so cute xoxoxoxoxo...they have such a strong relationship...

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc

Well, I believe, asking for money/gifts from fiance,fiancee,bf,gf,etc before marriage is definitely something which looks quite cheap and tacky. Any gift, which is given out of being forced loses its essence from the giver's part. Gifts are usually something which is given out of the affection the giver feels for the person. So, if the other person doesn't feel like showering you with gifts, I don't think you have to demand either.

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc

I personally would be more than happy to give him a gift, if he asks then depends on what he asks for, but i would never ask for a gift or anything its a bit of a chaval harkat, i dont know its just me, even asking my parents for things feels awkward.

One should be a bit open to these situations though there is worse issues people go through in relationships.

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc

is she demanding gifts from all 3 of them at the same time?

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc

It is bad adab to refuse a gift, but to request a gift to be given is no longer a gift, it is the giving of dues.

When a woman asks it of her breadwinner yes that is acceptable, but a woman has no duty to give gifts or dues to her husband, so she should not be asked.

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc

Husband, please read this! :D

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Re: Asking for money/gifts etc


I think girls should be independent enough to be able to afford to buy things herself. I would feel awkward now asking money from my siblings. Even my parents too. We were all raised independent so didn't ask money from siblings or parents when i started working full time.