You can plan ahead as much as you want love but you never know what is around the corner. Regardless of whether you have liberal/backward ILS, like Sadaf showed by example of friend, you are expected to do your bit of housework. If you’re living with ILS it’s hard coping with them, if you’re livnig separate it’s all new and can take a while to settle into as well as living with someone regardless of how long you’ve known them. It can be more of an upheaval for some than others but eitherway imagine trying to do assignments while smiling through various functions and having to play bahoo and all that garb. I still think it’s better to do it beforehand. If i had the chance i would rewind back three years and have completed my post-grad.
My ILS don’t have a problem with me studying. But i’m a in different country. I have to be able to manage to live in UK, then finance the studies and this is all whilst you never know whats around the corner. Trust me, you can only plan so much. I planned ahead as well and i got a big surprise
Yea i know…i’m just going with the flow lol…it’s my parents who r always worried about EVERY LITTLE THING! Esp. my dad…my fiance’s parents aren’t so fussy, and they r more laid-back and relaxed about life…he just tells me that it will be ok, let them lecture u, they’ll see wot ur capable of after u get married…i just wish some asian parents had more faith in their kids to do wot they wanted…it’s not just me and my marriage thing, my brother has issues with them and complains that they always look at our failures and never believe in us…oh well…i know u can’t plan everything, in the end, it’s wotever is in ur kismet…but of course, we have to discuss our future plans a lil bit u know
Inshallah they won’t…i agree, education is very important even if u’ll never get to apply it anywhere…it’s something we both know we want, 100% no matter wot…let’s hope nothing will get in the way…thanks very much
Just for your FYI you will be an asain parent one day and will go through the same thing.
Asian parents worry because they care and support their kids specially girls until they are married even at the age of 30. So they have right to tell what is good for them.
On the other hand guys parents don't care because if their son have problem marriage, he can divorce and marry 18 yr old whenever he want. He won't be blamed for any thing.
All I am trying to say is most parents want the best for their kids.
It does not matter how organized are you are or what you plan, you won't know until you will do it.
Relationship change people change. Best of luck.
no im not married…m just saying that after marriage your husband should be ur first priority..and thats what he expects too..this is the key to a happy marriage..
Yes, actually i knew that i will be an asian parent oneday…but parenting changes with times, and i know i won’t do some things my parents did and also will do somethings they did…asian parents worry and care about their kids their whole lives, not only when they r young (20s n 30s)…they have a rite, but they shudn’t force and shud have a little more faith in their decisions…and u said parents don’t care if their son has marriage problems!..He can get divorced and marry an 18 yr old! Ok, well this is bizarre, i dunno wot type of families wud do that honestly!..of course parents want wot’s best for their kids, that’s not wot i’m talking about here…planning stuff isn’t a bad thing, even when ur studying…that is a form of planning…thanks.
Thanks, i am definately getting one…sometimes life can’t always go the way u want, therefore, u may have to complete it after marriage or u may even prefer to…my point was that if ur willing, it can be done either way.
lussi lets suppose after few years of marriage you pass away (god forbid) ..what will become of your wife if she has no education...so dont think education is a waste of time for women, but than again men dont care about women, only their own needs.
i would definitely want my son daughter to get an education first before plunging into marriage, but having said that i wont impose my views on them...yaar life is too short so just lay back and relax why worry and fret over things so much.
Last thing i like to know why would anyone meddle in your business such as jithani, deewrani or even a saas and so on...who gives them the right to rule over you... am i being selfish here or what
I don’t think you know anyone who compeleted their education after shadi-- do you?. It is possible but almost impossible think about it…
can you play these roles at the same time..
Wife,
daughter in law
daughter
sister
sister in law
and MOTHER [which everyone expects a girl to become after 3 months or so]
I think every girl should have her career before getting hitched.
NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER believe a rishta family who will tell you “yeah you can finish after you graduate” THEY"RE LYING !!! NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRR LISTEN TO THAT!
One girl was studying law but quit right in teh middle coz her husband didnt’ like it.
My cousin was gonna be doing her BA exams that march but got married two months before. I asked my mamoo if she’s gonna study more? and he said “oh he wants her to study further”.. I thought that was nice.. But a minute later, she got pregnant and shes pregnant again, and i doubt she’ll ever do her ba.. but watever, its not like she’s gonna work
I say NEVER trust them when they say “yeah you can finish”.. even if they’re not jerks like above, married life just gets in teh way, you have babies, everyone has somethign to say abt your life and yeah its easy to say it ur life screw in laws, let u do something better, but still.. kam se kam ,finish ur bachelors
Completeing your education before marriage is always always a good idea.
Its true that there is no age and time restrictions for learning but atleast finish what you have in mind before marriage wether it be to become a doctor/lawyer doing phd etc or simple graduation.
After marriage its hard to concentrate on education and give it the time it requires. There are alot of responsibilties in married life.
pluse God forbid if something happens after your marrige ,you should be able to take care of yourself and your children if any.
All of above people missing one point, here no one forcing her to get married. the case she wants to get married and had some plans to study after marriage. Its all depend what a person want and what are priorties.
Though I think atleast the guy should get establish and complete the education atleast to degree level to embark on marriage. there must be many things you both want to do together after marriage and dont want to spoil early years full time education and part time jobs at the same time or rely completely on inlaws.
