Ashamed of being Muslim?

Society Religion & Philosophy
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Asalamualikum all,

What is it that stops you from being a good muslim? Social Pressure?

Since there are a lot of Muslims on this board living in western nations, I thought it’d be appropriate to discuss the kind of things which’ve stopped us from being a good muslim, and steps we’ve taken to get over that hesitation.

There are a lot of things that we believe to be wrong, and yet pursue them.. either because those things are now a part of our life and giving them up is tough… OR because we’re ashamed of being labelled extremists.

BE HONEST, are there things which you dont do because of that fear? HOW have you gotten around that hesitancy?

Here’s an article I came across:

(Link)
*
What will the people say? Will they approve of it? Will they laugh at it? It seems that such concerns influence our actions --especially our public conduct-- more than anything else. Social pressure is a powerful force.
…
That is why the Qur’an mentions that one of the qualities of the believers whom Allah loves and who love Allah is that

“They fear not the blame of any blamer.” [Maida 5:54].
…
“The guilty used to laugh at those who believed. And whenever they passed by them, used to wink at each other in mockery. And when they returned to their own people, they returned jesting. And whenever they saw them they would say: `They have gone astray.’ But they had not been sent as keepers over them. But on this day the Believers will laugh at the Unbelievers.” [Mutaffifeen, 83:29-34].*

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No one here has ever bothered me about whether I am a good muslim or not. I have never even thought that I should feel ashamed of being a muslim. However, I am getting a little fed up with the ignoramasuse of extremists who are defaming the good name of Islam by spewing out hate for everything they don't like. It is the disease that Pakistani know too well as sectarianism!

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pure laziness obstructs my way. I dont care for societal pressures.

Societal pressure is a silly excuse.

But laziness...ah well, that is also a silly excuse.

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by OldLahori: *
No one here has ever bothered me about whether I am a good muslim or not. I have never even thought that I should feel ashamed of being a muslim. However, I am getting a little fed up with the ignoramasuse of extremists who are defaming the good name of Islam by spewing out hate for everything they don't like. It is the disease that Pakistani know too well as sectarianism!
[/QUOTE]

oldlahori, you and I share the same views buddy...

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oldlahori/spock.. lets not be vague. where is the divider b/w being a good muslim and an extremist? Are you saying people who keep a beard or dont let their clothes hang below their ankles are extremists? hate-mongering is a separate issue, i'm talking about things which ARE required of us as muslims and yet when someoen does those we call that person an extremist.

pcg, societal pressures is a real issue.. in people that i know, many have admitted to not being strong enough to be able to do whats required of them as muslims, and go against the flow of a non-muslim or muslim_but_not_practicing society

a lot of muslim scholars are of the opinion that women are required by shariah to appropriately cover themselves leaving only the face and hands exposed. I understand that you may not completely agree with this view, but lets say it were correct, would you have had the courage to follow it?

i'm just trying to understand here.. lots of people ascribe to a certain belief, but at the same time dont follow it.. whats at the root of this?

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ammarr, reducing Islam to a bunch of mindless rituals is really a massive disservice to Islam. No one really and truely cares whether you keep a beard, wear your shalwar six inches above the ankle or six inches below the ankle, whether you enter the toilet with your left foot or your right foot, etc. The telling statement you make is "a lot of muslim scholars are of the opinion" !!! How about your own common sense and intelligence. Islam does not have clergy! The real strength of Islam is that no one and I mean no one is supposed to stand between you and Allah. Now where do all these scholars come in? I can listen to them, understand them, ask the muslims around me that I respect for their opinions and help in understanding what I am being told, and then I use my own brain that Allah has given me to excersise my free will. Then whether I am a good muslim or not is upto Allah and not up to any scholar who has nothing better to do than spend all his free waking hours thinking about how to make interpretations of interpretations of what some scholar said in the 12th century, and then telling everyone around that if they don't agree with them then they are apostates and have committed blasphemy!!!! That is just such a load of BS!

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Re: Ashamed of being Muslim?

Moulana Ammar :rocketup:

Lets put it this way .THERE ARE MUSLIMS EVERYWHERE WHO IN YOUR EYES DO ALL THE THINGS LIKE SHALWAR BEARD,HENNA IN GREY HAIR ,READ ALL MAUDOODI BOOKS GO ON TABLEEGH,BUT dont spend enough time with wife & children,have narrow mind ,dont give education to boys & girls,crticize everybody & hypocrtically like to stay in west & use west comfort at the same time DENY it ,take help from western education for legal & medical matters but condemn them nevethe less.

WHAT IS THE USE OF BEING HYPOCRITE LIKE THAT :halo:

.

THOUGH we think we are sufficiently practicing muslims far more than those in the Home country .AND NOT HYPOCRITE TO ADD TO IT :k:

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ammarr, your topic is too broad! And two people might differ on what is essential to for being a good Muslim.

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Certainly not... But I have known some people who are... I talked to this beautiful Lebanese girl today, who looked like an American and spoke like one, I actually thought she was american, and after talking she says, you Pakistanis seem like such a devoted Muslims, I wish I could be a Muslim like you... I guess she was just afraid of revealing her religion?

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OldLahori,

that isn't a discussion i wanted to get into..
hmmmmm.. the quran specifically does tell us to ask people of remembrance if you dont know. a lot of us haven't taken out the time to study islam and yet consider ourselves wise enough to pass a judgement by reading an ayah or two.

what two people make of a simple ayah can be so starkly different that it is needed to refer to scholars. i.e. those who have actually studied islam. there are BS scholars out there, and then there are those whose arguments make sense. common sense is too broad a term to define religion.

btw if you classify keeping a beard or putting yer shalwar above yer ankles a mindless ritual.. maybe prayers, or fasting etc are in the same category?

and ofcourse its not upto a scholar to decide whether yera good/bad muslim.. all my question was whether you're following what you think is right? or are there things that stop you from that?

gymnasophysct,

i find that spiritual elements are easier to implement rather than physical ones.. lets not get into hypocrisy and all that.. all i'm asking is abt barriers to being a good muslim.

aj,

well lets go by yer definition to being a good muslim, and talk abt elements which are/have stopped you from being one.

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.. all my question was whether you're following what you think is right? or are there things that stop you from that? <<<<

I think one has to be a certified idiot to follow things that one thinks are not right. Everyone follows what everyone thinks is right.

I did not know that 6-inch above the ankle was the 6th pillar of Islam. Thank you.

The Title of this post “Ashamed of being a Muslim” is rather dubious. How can one be ashamed of one’s beliefs? It is a different matter if one keeps his/her beliefs a private matter between oneself and God(s). If one is so ashamed of one’s faith, then one can convert to a faith that one likes. There are tons out there. I am leaning towards Lord Shiva.

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ammar,
I will try to answer the question as you have asked to the best that I can. No, there is nothing in my beliefs that I have found that I need to apologise and feel ashamed about. There is nothing in this society where I live that anyone has ever interfered with my beliefs. Apparently there is a need in people to dress and behave in a manner that identifies them to others what and who they are going through. It is like the buddhists monks in their robes with their head shaved and red sheets, or the ever smiling indian gurus in their dhotis and necklaces, etc. It is a uniform that people wear feeling for one reason or another that it makes them holier and closer to their maker. Young muslims are not averse to that either. A few years ago, I was sporting a massive beard and wearing dresses that would have made me look at home in a Taliban camp. God bless my parents for their understanding and patience. Long before last years 9/11 they were able to teach me how unnecessary that was. Dress never makes a real identity. I can honestly state that no one here at that time interfered with my growing up other a bemused look and "teenagers will be teenagers" comments. I guess it was better than spikes through my tongue etc. My best friends mother had a picture taken with me especially. She wanted to do that before I grew up out of the "fad" as she said. She was right. Never once did anyone here say one word against Islam to me. Average americans are really a kind and considerate people.

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I'm ashamed of the beliefs that people have come to associate with "Muslims"..

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I understand that you may not completely agree with this view, but lets say it were correct, would you have had the courage to follow it?

Amarr, the answer to this question is no different from Old Lahori's post:

ammarr, reducing Islam to a bunch of mindless rituals is really a massive disservice to Islam. No one really and truely cares whether you keep a beard, wear your shalwar six inches above the ankle or six inches below the ankle, whether you enter the toilet with your left foot or your right foot, etc. The telling statement you make is "a lot of muslim scholars are of the opinion" !!! How about your own common sense and intelligence. Islam does not have clergy! The real strength of Islam is that no one and I mean no one is supposed to stand between you and Allah. Now where do all these scholars come in? I can listen to them, understand them, ask the muslims around me that I respect for their opinions and help in understanding what I am being told, and then I use my own brain that Allah has given me to excersise my free will. Then whether I am a good muslim or not is upto Allah and not up to any scholar who has nothing better to do than spend all his free waking hours thinking about how to make interpretations of interpretations of what some scholar said in the 12th century, and then telling everyone around that if they don't agree with them then they are apostates and have committed blasphemy!!!!

I am sorry, but I dont have the time in the day to carry around a list of hadith and check them off as I follow them. I do what I can with the time given to me. This involves prioritizing. To me, a priority is not a hijaab, but the soul and mind. First, I am in the process of purifying these, getting myself to stay steadfast in my prayers, make sure I keep all the fasts, etc. In comparison to these tasks I need to work on, I dont think Hijaab is the biggest priority right now.

Plus, I am still trying to understand Islam and learn from it. If there is something I dont agree with now, that doesn't mean I'll never agree with it.

Definitely, wearing a hijaab for me is not about peer pressure. If you knew me personally and you knew what my life is like, you would KNOW that the last thing I'm worried about is what people think of me. Its more of a priority issue, a I-am-not-even-good-at-the-basics-of-Islam yet thing, and a personal preference. I dont believe that I am committing a major sin by not wearing a hijaab, but I think by missing prayers regularly, I'm doing much worse. I'm trying to correct my prayer problems right now. Hijaab will come later.

I hope you understand now my stance a little better.

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Ashamed of being Muslim?<<<<<<<<<<

NO! but I'm ashamed of being associated with 'so-called' Muslims

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Not at all, as a matter of fact I like the opportunity to showcase what muslims are like by my actions and attitude and to even explain that there are all types of muslims.

If we start looking at physical apperance of what some consider to be muslim i.e. beard, the ooncha painchaa etc etc. how many ppl in pakistan do it? what are they "ashamed" of.

People differ in their view of what it means to be a good muslim, and whether they feel that they meet their own standards or not, most people try. Are their attempts and tries good enough? I dont know that is for Allah to decide.

We get too preoccupied with painchaa, darrhi, tasbeeh ... what about the personality, behavior, outlook, gentleness, simplicity, graciousness, that a true muslim should have

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fraudz: *
Not at all, as a matter of fact I like the opportunity to showcase what muslims are like by my actions and attitude and to even explain that there are all types of muslims.
[/QUOTE]

btw i just wanted to clarify and share something of interest with you. I dont think I am some great muslim or a perfect example of what a muslim is. I can only let people know me and learn from me and see that there are diff types of muslims.

The interesting quote was from a former colleague who reached out to me last year after 9/11 and him and i have been discussing various events and news to get each other's perspective.

Last night on msn I asked him if he was able to get a better idea of what a muslim is.

His response was very entertaining and enlighting.

he claimed that he had learnt that muslims are like all other people you find anywhere and that he recognized that you find people of all sorts, he continued that if he thought all muslims were like OBL he would think all are extremists, if he thought all muslims are like me, he would assume that we are all clowns either of which is not the case.

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Nya: I meant ashamed of practising their beliefs out in the open. This is a very common attitude. A relative was telling me they dont want their daughter to do hijab since it sets them out from the crowd.. and i'm thinking: now where'd that come from? They do identify themselves as muslims, ofcourse, but when it came to being one it caused a jingle. And- 6 inch above ankles isn't the sixth pillar, sorry if i implied that.

(however I do believe that ahadith state that it was an action and command of the Prophet(saww) so it can only be a good thing to follow it?)

OldLahori: I do agree and relate with you for the most part, except for this: 'It is a uniform that people wear feeling for one reason or another that it makes them holier and closer to their maker.' <-- I find for the most part none of us actually enjoy setting ourselves apart, but do it because it is commanded by religion.

PCG: Ofcourse. I think we're all learners and the day we decide that we've found the actual truth, we'll be claiming god, since Allah(swt) alone can decide on what the universal truth is. I didn't say that hijab is a priority over salaat. Religious understanding comes with time, and I dont debate that.

btw, there are people who do follow a lot of islamic orders and yet do not keep a hadith checkbook :) They've just decided to accept islam as a way of life.

Fraudia: yar i think its different for those in Pakistan. not recieving eduction related to religion and for a big part, growing up reciting arabic not knowing what it means, religion literacy is not so high. I guess most people do try according to what they do know.

This was basically in reference to a recent discussion i had gotten into. Aboo and some uncles etc were chattin away and I put forth this question. Many did accept that they 'knew' doing some things were required of them but they didn't presently want to do it. Others said that we as humans lack far-sightedness, so if an action makes us feel good today/tommorow we do it with no regards to the hereafter.

All are basically gr8 people. This is why I focused on the physical aspects... most of us do manage to be generous/gentle/simple since society confirms these to be good values, but when it comes to change our appearance, many of us waver.

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Fraudia: You are a shining example of humanity for us all. On the fence and all!!!!

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ammarr: *

All are basically gr8 people. This is why I focused on the physical aspects... most of us do manage to be generous/gentle/simple since society confirms these to be good values, but when it comes to change our appearance, many of us waver.
[/QUOTE]

most of us? you are looking at a specific group, maybe your family ot friends that are good decent peopel and exhibit the traits of a true muslim and a decent human being.

If most of us were kind, decent, simple and generous people we would not have the type of issues we have in Pakistan.

Sadly there are many, here as well as in Pakistan and other countries who may "appear" to be good muslims but are mired in narrow mindedness, hate, and bigotry.

sipah e sahaba, lashkar e jhangwi, other such assorted groups. I have yet to see one of their members not have a beard and/or wear their shalwars long..but these groups have incited violence, killed people in mosques, killed physicians who have nothing to do with their petty "my islam is better than yours" war.

Let us note a very important thing at this point.

Haqooq Allah and Haqooq Al Ibaad, Haqooq Allah i.e. the rights of God, which are our duties to God. and Haqooq al Ibaad i.e. Rights of the people, i.e. our duties to other people.

Please refer to the statement that Haqooq Allah if not fulfileld may be forgiven because Allah forgives, but the rights of your fellow humanbeings, the haqooq al Ibaad that you did not fulfill, you will be very answerable for.

It would be best if you try to fulfill both as much as possible. Sadly there are too many who dont even grasp the concept of haqooq al ibaad when they are on their "islam version 2.02" bandwagon.

Dont take my point as saying that namaz and zakat and hajj are not important they are very important, beard and tasbeeh are less important. However whenever we talk about what muslims should be doing we focus on tasbeeh and darrrhi more so than namaz and charity, and even less than what it really means to be a muslim.