As parents..

[Khumar]

Re: As parents..

@star4u

no jaanwar, thats no necessarily true, because if the girl just said that i like such boy but has never interacted or spoken to that guy then that would be ok because she is just expressing who she would like to marry
then I as a parent would be ok with that

however, if she wants to marry her bf then I would be like NO never because that guy wouldnt be decent who led her astray because if he actually was decent then he wouldve sent his rishta down through his parents

same goes for the boy, if he said he wanted to marry his gf then I would be like, NO WAY, because the girl is not decent enough to be my DIL and I would tell my son that she can not be my daughter in law

so same rules apply irrespective of whether you are dealing with your son or daughter

hope im making sense

No offence, but why assume that the bf/gf are the bad evil charactered one. It is very possible that your kids are the ones that approached the other person first and asked them to go into a relationship.

Which brings me to the next point. Why assume that something haram and forbidden has happened during the “dating” time period. If the kids have been raised right, then they would know what is acceptable and what isn’t acceptable while one is seeking out a spouse. Some level of trust has to be in kids otherwise they will not trust the parents.

As for saying “mommy daddy I want to marry this boy/girl that I have only seen and not interacted with” is such a bollywood thing. How is that any different from the rishta process? You have to meet the person, you have to talk to the person, you have to interact with them to find out exactly how they are and if indeed they can make a good spouse. Looks don’t always equal a good personality.