Re: as a wife would you be ok with this?
I know many parents (including mine) who give money to their daughters and mention that it’s for something specific (ie. furnishings for the room in this case). However, I have NEVER heard of a situation where parents get upset because “extra” money was used to purchase something else.
Did this woman’s parents specifically tell her that they do not want her using that money for anything else except furnishings for her room? If they did then her “reasoning” makes sense. But if they did not, then she needs to stop using their “intent” as an excuse.
If this woman is going to be nit-picky about things like her parents assumed intent regarding the extra money…then she should be nit-picky and realize that the room that has been given to her and her husband by her parents is not theirs. The entire house belongs to the parents (I assume its the parents whose names are on the deed). So if she’s going to be so nit picky then she should have saved the entire amount from her own parents until she truly gets her “own room”.
** If the woman herself doesn’t want to spend the money on the washing machine, then that’s her right. Then she should be honest and just say that it’s HER choice. But in my opinion, dragging her parents into this issue with her husband will only creative negative feelings towards them from her husband/in-laws side.