Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
^ Its not. Some ppl are just have really wrong definitions of arranged as opposed to forced.
Like mad sci said....its only dysfunctional if part of the couple is dysfunctional.
But if u reread the starting question u will see that all the arrange marriages are categorized under one heading: dysfunctional
So definitely my question is directed towards the starter of this thread...
Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
I was actually being sarcastic. However, I really liked that answer presented by the girl who is stuck somewhere between NY and Toronto. Cheeta bhi theek hie, of course.
Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
Then mayhbe the thread starter has a narrow minded view of what an "arranged" marriage actually means.
Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
hmmmmm....
Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
It was last year in November, my father called me from Pakistan saying:
"Oh beta, I was in the Masjid, saw a beautiful girl, tried to imagine her besides you and I got a beautiful picture, are ya ready"?
I was like wtf? I said No, he asked me why, I didn't say anything. After 2 minutes we ended the call.
3-4 days later my father calls me and tells me, "Oh beta, you are engaged, congratulations"...I said, what? It was a shock, I only had seen a pic of here taken from the side...
I was speechless, but I thought, sab log ab takk inkarr karte ain hain iddar Germany meyn, Pakistan meyn manzuur hogeya, let's see what happens...
I have to say, that trustin' Allah on that issue was the best thing I could do.
I haven't met her yet, but I trust Allah, we got married on the 4 th January...
abbi thakk naheen mille, that is one bitter taste in this whole story...
I spoke the truth from the beginning, I told her that I have faults in me, I smoke ganja and drink sometimes, I was expecting a negative reply, it's not a small deal when you do this and you don't know each other, but my whife took all my worries and said everything will be ok...I will take care of you...but try to cut down what you do...
I don't drink often anymore, I don't smoke ganja often...I was depressed and Allah gave me a sign and took more than half of my depression away...ek, do depressions, tensions hain...the biggest is that my whife is not here yet :D
what you mean by "faking your emotions"?
could you please precise your question?
thanx in advance
Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
I can speak for myself, as I see myself heading that path reluctantly.
In a western country when you are just busy working and making a career for yourself... and lets just say your social circle doesnt really have any desi girls in there... but you do recognise the important of your future partner to be of the same background as you, then you really have nowhere to go. I have always been against arranged marriages and have called it a pure lottery, but at the end of the day, if you simply dont have anyone around you to even consider, and even though you hate all the family pressures of being of a marriagable age, infact, slowly passing it now, you cannot run away from it, and the murgha has to come under the knife sooner or later...
When theres simply no other options for you, then you will have to reluctantly go down that path, unless you create all hell for yourself by suggesting you want an interracial marriage and find someone that you KNOW wont be very welcome or readily accepted by your family...
Considering all those factors, you sometimes simply just cannot be bothered with the trouble and think, fine, ill just marry someone they find for me.
Where are all the eligible single bachelorettes... I dont really see a platform where you can mix n mingle and look for a partner yourself... maybe back in Pak its possible, but someone with no real links to the desi community in a western country, alot of us guys have no way to find someone on our own if it HAS to be desi. Nothing against interracial, but I just cant be bothered with the complications.
Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
naseeb.com probably :)
Well I do beleive there are enough desi girls to be found in the Western countries. You just have to look at the right places. You have to be associated with the family environments. There are many matchmakers as well. There are equal number of desi girls in the Western countired as there are desi guys when we talk about the desi families environments only. If you include single working guys then yeah they can outnumber girls.
Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
aww congrats Numb. MashaAllah gr8 news and hope ur newly wed wife bring good news and happiness in your life, AmeeN.
Mazah aagaya aap ka post parh kay :k:
Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
^
bot bot shukriya aapka...shaadi pe aogi? :D
mazaa kis baat par ayaa? kisi na kisi din hatkaryaan lagni ti naa :D
Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
^ bulaou gay tou ajaoun gi :D
Re: ARRANGED MARRIAGES OF MEN
fellow men folk, how do you feel about it and why do you knowingly enter as dysfunctional a thing as an arranged marriage?
how do you fake your emotions?
share if you like.
best,
Dushwari
This is a very wrong statement to its core.
Arranged marriage is very functional and a fair deal for nuptual. It is evident from the fact that most of us are result of these arrangement and can boast ourselves as part of a very funtional and still united family.
And if you dont see this a fair arrangement then what are the other options ?
A Love marraige ? Very few people actually fall in love before marraige. I would say less than 20 %. Rest, try to impose on themselves the idea. Realistically you dont need to be in love with each other for marraige. You need to be compatible and fairly like each other.
Arranged marraige provides the provission fairly well. Just like self arranged marraige ( realistic term for a love marraige )
I have no qualm against arranged marraige unless it is a forced marrage, which is a different thing altogether. the idea is definitely abhorible