Arranged (marriage) girls & guys!

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Hellow girls and guys!!
This topic is about arranged marriage… or getting hooked up ?? hmmm
How does this work in your family/friends?

Questions to b answered:
whats the first contact? a meeting or pictures or phone, intertnet endless possiblities!
-how many rishta’s are there seen before you decide for one?
how many meetings do u get?
how much time do u need or want?
are u in love before agreeing to marriage, so before engagement? Is this important for you…

These are few possible questions….give opinions please..
i guess this topic can go every direction ;)!!!
also want guys input, if ur reading this!

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Re: Arranged (marriage) girls & guys!

Questions to b answered:
whats the first contact? a meeting or pictures or phone, intertnet endless possiblities!
Usually in my family it’s a complete arrange marriage where girl and guy’s family gets involved first and once they have seen pictures for each side they go forward. In my case my husband is my aunt’s son so they just send the proposal and my parents decided that they were happy with everything they knew and said yes after asking me.
-how many rishta’s are there seen before you decide for one?
My husband’s rista was the second one. In our family they believe that the first rista is usually the best rista for girls but my engagement broke from the first rista so after that my husband’s rista came and alhumdulliah everyone was very happy.
how many meetings do u get?
after our engagement we were allowed to talk on the phone but we didn’t till our nikah. We did email each other since I was in U.S and he was in pakistan but kept it to minimum till our Nikah.
how much time do u need or want?
not sure about this question.. I guess it depends on the couple. We didn’t want to have a long nikah but our circumstances worked out that way.. My husband wanted to have ruksati right away but unfortunately his immigration to U.S took way to long.
are u in love before agreeing to marriage, so before engagement? Is this important for you…
I wouldn’t say I was in love when i was engaged.. after nikah I got to know him and that’s when i really fell in love with him emotionally.

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Re: Arranged (marriage) girls & guys!

can anyone describe me the meaning of love bcoz nowadays it seems that it canges time to time

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thanks coolgirl for sharing :slight_smile: sounds good, im sure ur happy mashallah!

even if ur marrying a cousion or someone from d family, dont u want to talk and meet that other person before deciding?

im still curious to know other stories!

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Re: Arranged (marriage) girls & guys!

Okay here goes my story… :slight_smile:
Questions to b answered:
**
whats the first contact? a meeting or pictures or phone, intertnet endless possiblities! – my cousins sent him my pictures from my facebook account (go figures facebook had a hand in all of this lol) with out my family and i knowing..where he saw them and liked them and then my aunt brought the rishta asking my parents and if it was okay with us if he contacted me. (after they showed me his pictures ofcourse) and i said sure after a lot of hesitation.
**
-how many rishta’s are there seen before you decide for one?---- this was the first one. marriage or rishtas had never really come up in my life since i was still in school and also looked a lot younger for my age and well i guess still was very young since i was 21 at the time and finishing college. never really gave it any thought.
**
how many meetings do u get?** ---- 1 meeting before we decided to get engaged. he had wanted to meet again but i was too shy and wasnt sure if it ws a good idea since i wasnt sure if liked him lol. .. and then he had come to visit my family and parents in canada a few times after we had our baat paki. he didn’t meet them before the baat paki, only i had…before all of that.. we talked on email and msn for about a month before we met. he came down to canada to stay with his cousins for the weekend (who are also my cousins from another relation) and because he was coming to visit them, my mumani thought why not fly me down to meet him as well so we can check each other out and know if theres an attraction..compatibility etc…it was reallly nerve wracking since i had NEVER done this type of thing before and quite honestly wasn’t expecting to much out it. i just figured that it wasn’t really going to work out because i was still so young and wasnt really prepared for anything serious like this but everyone kept telling me to just give it a chance..so i went along with it and…turned out to be so wrong about my assumptions on the whole thing 7 months later. :slight_smile: …i was very honest to him right away about how i wasn’t really ready for marriage and was just doing this because i could see how happy and hopeful it made my family and he was very understanding and supportive said that it didnt have to be anything serious and that we could just stay in touch as friends if i wanted to. ..i think because we started talking and getting to know each other as friends and normal people first helped our relationship develop into a romantic one. there was no pressure.

**
how much time do u need or want?** **are u in love before agreeing to marriage, so before engagement? Is this important for you… — **yes and no. my family is traditional but at the same time they understand the importance of making sure that the two of us can come to an understanding with each other with out blindly accepting a rishta just for the sake of getting married. love isn’t always necessary in the beginning but compatibility and respect for one another is and after all we will be the ones in it for the rest of our lives not our parents. they gave us as much time as we needed in getting to know one another and that eventually developed into a love marriage . we spent about 6 or 7 months talking before deciding to get engaged. i think having that time to think about marriage for the first time while getting to know the person that had now become a prospect was really helpful in me discovering what i really wanted. marriage and rishtas had never come up in my life so i didnt really know if it was something i would want or wouldnt want right at that point in my life…to my surprise and also my famillies…it turned out that i did. :slight_smile: mashallah se he turned out to be an amazing person and feel so blessed everyday that he came into my life. it was so unexpected for the both of us and so easy at the same time that it just felt right. :slight_smile: mushy i know…lol but you asked! :slight_smile: ..so i was 21 when i met him…22 when we got engaged/nikah’ed …and will be 23 when we marry this summer iA and he is 6 years older than me. :slight_smile:

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Re: Arranged (marriage) girls & guys!

hi sorry i just saw ur story sana..!!

ur saying that it was decided u would get engaged after one meeting, but after ur saying u got engaged 7 months later??
anyway it is great that u had all that time before d engagemnt :wink:
are u getting married soon as u say this summer??

best of luc :slight_smile: