Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
I want to hear this story 
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
Well Its amazing how soO many ppl believe in love marriage . . I think its more about what sort of person u r than how u meet ur guy
Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
Well I think mime would be Arranged
I'm not married yet but engaged to the person of my parents choice and he is my cousin in Pakistan, his and my parents decided this when we were born and we will do what our parents say as they are more experienced and have seen this world more than us so I do trust their choice
He is 2 years younger then me n I'm 20 n he's 18 but till know we never talked/ texed or kept any relationship between us but we are happy with one another and will loved to listen and marry to our parents wishes
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
^What do you know about him so far?
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
Well Its amazing how soO many ppl believe in love marriage . . I think its more about what sort of person u r than how u meet ur guy
I don't think it matters whether it's love or arranged as long as you end up happy..
Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
I do know some things about him
As his sister is my best friend/cousin and she tells me n we now each other since childhood and my family do know and regular talk to him
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
I do know some things about him As his sister is my best friend/cousin and she tells me n we now each other since childhood and my family do know and regular talk to him
Don't you think that you should also try to talk to him to see if you're compatible with him? His sister sees him as a brother...from a sister's perspective. Your parents see him as a nephew. Brother/nephew is not the same as husband. The dynamics are different. Also, let's say that you and I are good friends....and I know another person whom I really like. Just because I get along with that person....zaroori nahin that you will also like that person. I'm not pressuring you...but consider getting to know the guy you plan on marrying.
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
getting to know someone and being in love are 2 diffrent things.
I bleive in arrange u still get a chance to know the person ( indirectly)
So if u say u prefr luv marg coz u want to know that person i dont think that a strong exuse
How many people will die without marrng som1 if ev 1 goes for love marriege? And what effect it will hav on the society if there are adults but not maried?
Love happens only once?
As som1 said earlier about sucess ratio in luv anf arrange
Why west has lowest ratio of success because they are going against the rules set by nature.
Arrange mariege e is sign of responsbilty and obeideince.which plays a major role in building a good society.
Follow islam then the decision would b more easiet
And dont disrespect religion by calling it conservative or other fancy words.
Islam is the most moderate religion in the universe .
Force mariege=arange are u serious?
And for me i love surprises i would marry som1 i never even seen before (conditions apply)
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
wow. Talk about generalization. and half the morning shows wouldn’t exist with the weeping bahus and the heart broken in laws. Desi marriages are not successful because they are arranged. That is just dumb.
Our culture/society isn’t as open to divorces - even in higher middle class & upper class. They either stay together for the kids or because they are told" how will u support ur kids & their responsibilities" & desi families being big a lot of siblings are still unmarried. So it’s stigma more than anything else.
Marriages that do work out & that is because of efforts & sacrifices by both the husband & wife and sometimes even the families involved, ***not because they are merely arranged. ***
Please elaborate on the conditions. We’re dying to know. 
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
[quote=“majesty”]
wow. Talk about generalization. and half the morning shows wouldn’t exist with the weeping bahus and the heart broken in laws. Desi marriages are not successful because they are arranged. That is just dumb.
Our culture/society isn’t as open to divorces - even in higher middle class & upper class. They either stay together for the kids or because they are told" how will u support ur kids & their responsibilities" & desi families being big a lot of siblings are still unmarried. So it’s stigma more than anything else.
Marriages that do work out & that is because of efforts & sacrifices by both the husband & wife and sometimes even the families involved, ***not because they are merely arranged. ***
Please elaborate on the conditions. We’re dying to know. /QUOTE
So its ur society thats builds ur chrctr in such a way that u sacrifice for ur kids. But u can not sacrifice unless u kill ur own dsires . Why are the love mariegs are not that successfull its because they did go for what they wanted at the fist place then how will they b able to sacrifice later in their maried life there will always be conflict because they dont know how to let things go.
I will wait till u die ..thats the condition:
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
^Firstly, a lower rate of divorce is not an indicator of more successful marriages.. As has been pointed out a million times divorce is not an option for many (if not most) desi couples who've had arranged marriages..
Secondly, most rational believe in balance + give and take in relationships.. 'killing your own desires', ALWAYS sacrificing etc often leads to bitterness or resentment.. Do you honestly think we should be saying 'mashAllah' to such relationships?
Divorce rates in some Arab societies are comparable and in some cases higher than those in the West.. don't know why ppl are still so blind this.. Arranged marriages in DESI societies have lower rates of divorce but in other parts of the world it where women are able to remarry more easily and there isn't so much stigma obviously things are different..
Anyone who thinks how successful a marriage will be depends on whether it's love or arranged needs their head examining.. and a reality check..
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
Mine is actually lovely- arranged BLUSH :) unique story.. :)
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
^Firstly, a lower rate of divorce is not an indicator of more successful marriages.. As has been pointed out a million times divorce is not an option for many (if not most) desi couples who've had arranged marriages..
Secondly, most rational believe in balance + give and take in relationships.. 'killing your own desires', ALWAYS sacrificing etc often leads to bitterness or resentment.. Do you honestly think we should be saying 'mashAllah' to such relationships?
Divorce rates in some Arab societies are comparable and in some cases higher than those in the West.. don't know why ppl are still so blind this.. Arranged marriages in DESI societies have lower rates of divorce but in other parts of the world it where women are able to remarry more easily and there isn't so much stigma obviously things are different..
Anyone who thinks how successful a marriage will be depends on whether it's love or arranged needs their head examining.. and a reality check..
Low ratio does nt mean successful ..i agree
I did not say only one person ll hav to sacrifice what i did say was mariege cannot be successfull unless they know how to sacrifice and i blieve arrange maried couple are more capable of sacrifice than love maried couple. ( psyclogically speaking)
Which arab country?
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
Arranged - its much easier to blame someone else (like parents) if things don't work out ;)
On a serious note, there is no way you could know a guy as a husband (or a girl as a wife) before you get married. You know them as cousins, friends, colleagues etc and that is quite different from being a life partner. I'd rather have the husband first and then become friends with him later.
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
^Blaming parents isn't exactly going to help if you run into problems, is it? And seems the vast majority of parents have no answer to marriage problems their daughters are going thru apart from 'have sabr'..
In arranged marriages especially there is often more of an issue of breaking ties with friends/family and 'what will people think'.. The happiness and wellbeing of the wife (or husband) often comes much further down the list of priorities..
Love marriages have their own negatives but saying 'at least I can blame my parents if something goes wrong if it's arranged' isn't much of a plus point when they're not usually willing to rectify the situation..
Paki rana google the stats, the figures have been posted on GS before as well..
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
Blaming parents wala tu joke tha I thought it was clarified by the winking emoticon after the statement. To be honest, I don’t think there is any formula for a successful marriage. For me personally, I’d prefer an arranged one though. In any case, mujay pasand kis nay karna hai, so that could be one reason of my preference 
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
^Sorry lostsoul..
No worries.. Some ppl are better suited to going down the arranged route.. Each to their own..
Re: Arranged, Luvranged, or Love marriages?
arrange or not
it takes a lot of effort to keep the marriage alive.
Divorce rates are skyrocketing compared to 20/30years ago because of the lack of respect for it. this goes for asian and western culture.
Personally I'm for love marriages, I just don't like the idea of shopping around for a spouse and being picked because I'm young/beautiful/intelligent/quiet/shareef etc etc
Shallow really :P