I made a promise a couple of years in relation to marrying the person chosen by my grandfather. I would like to know the opinions in relation to arranged vs love marriages. At the present, I have decided to focus on my studies and work. Initially I refused all the prospective suitors. My younger sister decided to get married. My grandfather introduced her to her husband. He was a model who appeared in ads and when she met him, she instantly liked him. After a lot of setbacks, when she came to Sydney she had to stay away from him for about a year due to visa problems. Now finally, he has been granted a two month holiday visa. She already has a baby and has been married a year. I have pretty much been against relocating right from the start. Want to hear other peoples experiences in relation to marriage.
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
I would say marriage is a "gamble"...It does not come with a gurantee tag.. for example : i have seen love marriages break quicker than the arranged marriages..
Your luck matters a lot in this respect...you are lucky if you get a good life partner
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
Relocating for marriage also canhappen in love marriages. It's not just limited to arranged marriages.
At any rate, within my family relocations generally went smoothly, but there were never visa compllications. As long as the visas come through on time for everyone involved things have tended to go well.
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
arrange marriages suck dont do it
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
:) Couldnt have said any better I agree with you 100 % ... :)
Imagine a scenario you were arragned you married this bozo you never
even got a chance to get to know no love no dreams Problem starts when you grow old then what keeps you going ( big question mark )
ofcourse sex dies out eventually in fact after kids sex is dead finito dead
then what carries the relationship MAJBOORI because family's respect is at
forefront and now grow old with the bozo and die with the bozo as their is
no love and in the end you realise you lived all your life out of MAJBOORI
Lesson for all those who can develop that what keeps the fire going.
In the end its love that'll make you want do things for him or her :)
viva love :)
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
Your luck matters a lot in this respect...you are lucky if you get a good life partner
Comment estas senior :)
Pedro I have to disagree with you - :)
:) Marriage is not a gamble infact marriage is the only institution that is
Iron Cald Rock Solid everything else like arranged or guess or date etc
is a gamble. Marriage is a committment a life long committment that has
no gray area everything else has ifs and Buts and maybe or kindas :)
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
Your luck matters a lot in this respect...you are lucky if you get a good life partner
yh i agree wid u mate- marriage is a gamble- it all depends on what Allah has in store for you in your kismat- u cant really not marry someone thinkin there gonna b a bad partner- u have to take the risks as u neva no wats gna happen.
but where love and arrange marriages are concerned- i think it all depends on ure own heart- whether your commited or not- if ure commited 2 an arranged marriage then it wnt wrk and same goes with love marriages- however arrange marriages do work out better as you have less expectations cuz with love marriage u have expectations and when there not fullfilled then u get dissapointed. neways safe im out- peace Allah Hafiz
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
from what i read on gupshup life1 i can summarise this way:
-most women like love marriage more than arranged ones…maybe because in aranged marriage women is seen mostly as a popping kids, and maid for old parents, with pretty face but no brain:wink:
-most men like arranged marriage more than love…because most men know well what sex is but not love 
so they prefer arranged ones…
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
To love sum1, you have to spend time with them, date them, and all that, which is haram so how do you suppose someone would go about loving sum1 without sinning? Men arent even suppose to look at women they can marry, and r suppose 2 guard their modesty, pretty hard to dat and still do love marriage…unless of course ur not muslim then its a piece of cake. 
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
Nowadays, the boy and girl meet a few times before they get engaged and married in an arranged marriage type situation. Most of the time the parents and family look at every little thing about the groom or the bride to see if the likes and dislikes match or not.
I've seen both kinds of marriages result in success. The love marriages I've seen actually weren't as successful as the arranged marriages. With arranged, the couples respect each other first and then fall in love.
My friends had a love marriage and they did fall in love before they got married but they are complete opposites in terms of some things and quite a few times they have arguments. I'm not saying all love marriages are like this but quite a few that I've seen.
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
my dear i read in one of your posts. U said u are 12. Now u are telling this whole thing. I am thinking it is someone elses experience.:-| Anyways u are too young to be thinking of marriage and the rest.
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
Interesting,
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
Afridi, I had an arranged marriage, i was introduced to my hubby, we talked to each other, Islam does allow a man and woman to talk to each other for the purpose of getting to know each other with the intention that it could lead to marriage if their personalities match and all, but it has to be done in a chaperoned environment. during the time that i was getting to know my hubby, he would come over to our place, either my mom or my sister would chaperone us; we talked over the phone, we chatted over the internet,
with all the technologies out there, u can get to know a person without going out of the boundaries of ur religion. I respected my hubby first, love came afterwards when i got to know him better and more. So it was an arranged marriage which turned into a love marriage Alhumdullilah and MashAllah.
and u know something, b4 i got married, i used to think i would never go for an arranged marriage, heck i wouldnt even know the person i am getting married to, how will i survive, but Alhumdullilah and MAshAllah, i wasnt too stubborn 
and listened to my mom when this proposal came and MashAllah and Alhumdullilah neither of us regrets it and the best part is we got to know each other, atleast the basic stuff abt each other, priorities, way of thinking, likes and dislikes to atleast know that we would be a good match, in a most reasonable mannerl without crossing the limits that our religion has provided us with, but in these limits as well if u think abt it, it saves us from alot of heart-ache and pain.
Allah knows best.
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
:k: well said.
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
smily u have said it all, who r u? love makes the world go round when it gets stuck!!!
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
time can be spent on internet or over the phone chatting to each other;)…
preventing boys and girls to meet in order to choose a partner will eventuallly lead to force the girl to marry someone without any will to marry that person…forced marriage is invalid in islam..and result in rape:D
when a girl agrees to marry only because she knows she will get killed if she refuse, or thrown in the street into prostitution if she refuses…well it’s not really fair …what is worse a little dating or selling daughters to marriage as piece of fresh meat??
love devellops btw people who have matching ideas about religion, life together, family and who are honest about their intention to marry…
well it’s easy for people with confortable life and loving family to talk over the internet about how incely there parents are doing things for them…thanks:naraz:
for those who do not have that luck: dead mother, not so loving family, very jahil parents, etc…
we have to deal with things on our own:halo:…and blaming us (afridi:hoonh:) for our lack of “supportive” parents is not fair
Re: Arranged/Love Marriages
:)
This is what makes the world go round give n take yes give n take
as for who am I ? just like u GODs creation
we all are children of GOD yes so we all have it i mean we all can LOVE
let me tell you a story a true story
here's how it begins..........................................................
i went camping in california desert alone my explorer got stuck forgot to shift
into four wheel drive now its sun down getting dark called the tow stupid truck
a four wheel drive huge truck it took the bugger 3 hrz to find me but refused 2
help me coz he said if he goes out off road his rig will get stuck whoz gonna
bail him out. He refused n started to leave.
I was furious wz willing to pay him NE amount of money so then i
hitched i ride with him to nearest cafe motel off hiway 10 runs LA to Phoenix i
was about 200 miles off LA 80 miles from palm springs a hot camping and off
roading spot so i waited n waited n waited n waited wondering GOD what to
do ? what should i do ?
11pm 6 hours later three jeeps show up & of all the people guess what !
off roaders four wheelers - man oh man was i happy to see e'm i go VOW :)
man they came lookin for directions they were lost and cud not find their base camp where their wives n kids were camping. Apprently off roading they went
way off course so sadly could not find their base camp.
I knew the terrain on the back of my hand every creek every hill every road n camp grounds. Coz that what i did most weekends off roading hunting camp'g
So i asked whats up guys can u all helpme . They go we need help :) so i go what do u guys want ?
can u help us find the corn springs camp ground I go piece of cake bud
but can u pull my explorer out of the sand i am stuck there for the past 5 hrz.
they go sure dude it was a bunch of happy go lucky white boys so i jumped
into their jeeps took em to my explorer and oh man they put a strap to my
axle and pulled me out on dirt road like it was a walk in the park :)
At that point i told em go down 15 miles make first right another ten miles u see the sign for corn springs camp ground and they were all smiles :)
I looked up at the sky looked for signs of GOD some light some shooting star
some ray of HIS presence coz the whole ordeal didnt cost me dime and i was
on my way back home :) saved by a miracle
moral of the story yes my dear the world goes around and round simply coz its
a give n take imagine if we fail to give care n love n consideration to one
another what wud become of us the whole human race will be wiped out coz
the women dont wanna love the man dont wanna mary we all wud evaporate
human race will be gone wiped off the planet earth love makes da world go
A message for all of us " If u all ever get a chance to give care n help and ever
get a chance to love some one dont miss it coz u might not get another one"
yes it was miracle i was saved by a miracle and i have so many so many such
stories true stries i dont know where to begin and each one was a miracle of
sorts :) the world is not enough there is more to life and living then jobs and
n chats and gossips if you ever hear these words from some onez mouth dont
think twice just go for it.
je t'aime
mi amore
i love u
:)