And he finally got 5’8. Why did the whole family come and visit me in the first place?
There are so many other examples like this. And now I have become so strict in forcing my mom to tell the families my exact details (like age, education, height, family background etc.) and ask them IF these details are ok before we can proceed further. But it still is not helping much Many of the guys families just like to go on girl hunting visits as this has become their favourit past time.
But when the guy selects a girl from his uni/ workplace or any other source, the family again creates a problem. They can identify some negative points in the girl and her family. Then there is a fight between the guy and his family. And only one party wins.
I’m a girl and I have 3 sisters. Trust me, we **are **way more fussy when it comes to saying yes to a rishta. And there’s nothing wrong with the guy or the girl having a big list of *reasonable *requirements. It is a major decision afterall.
Not always. I have seen guys winning too. But then they had to struggle a lot, had to fight… I even witnessed one guy stopped talking to his whole family until they approve of his choice of girl. So it depends on the guy, how willing is he for his girl etc
But I am not at all fussy. May be thats the reason I am feeling the bad behaviour of the guys’ side more. If I can reject 2-3 guys in a month, I think I won’t feel dejected if I get rejected by 5-6 guys in the same month
One thing I disike about the rishta process is that it affects the self-esteem of girls (and even guys). You shouldn’t take any of this personally. It’s not about you rejecting them or vice versa. It’s … just a process.. which leads to a happy ending eventually. You are a good person and Allah swt must have someone amazing in store for you. You can ask your parents to slow down on these rishta visits if they make you feel upset. Only those families who are serious about you may be allowed to visit.
Adding to what Barbie said here and earlier, it is the ONLY acceptable way socially unless you are way head strong and have no qualms in dating and checking out a guy/girl.
What both parties need to do is to gather as much information as they can prior to the visit so that they KNOW what they are getting into. maybe the girl’s parents can share pictures and tell information if they are comfortable enough. Otherwise half hearted visits can be super annoying.
But like a pic can be misused not necessairly on purpose but i am sure most wouldnt feel safe handing over a pic to an unknown family.
Well i dont know about that but yes the thing is the guys family gets to say yes/no first but who knows if they wud have said yes the girls family wud have gone for it or not. So this way the girls family gets to reject less as things dnt get to that as much as they had like
True. Thanks for the prayers. Its just that have to go with this arranged process as this is the norm in my family and finding a guy on my own is difficult where I live, and also believe in this arranged setting despite all its negatives.
Agreed. I wish guys side try to behave in a more decent manner.
Many of the guys families just like to go on girl hunting visits as this has become their favourit past time.
Trust me, we **are **way more fussy when it comes to saying yes to a rishta. And there’s nothing wrong with the guy or the girl having a big list of *reasonable *requirements. It is a major decision afterall.
