People argue all the time.
Some are good at it and some are really bad at it.
Some focus on the matter being discussed and some focus on the emotions that the matter raises.
What’s your style?
What have you learned over the years? What works and what doesn’t work?
How would you change your current technique?
Re: Arguments
To me, argument is what keeps me going. How could you learn/unlearn something if there were no arguments? Not saying that I am always good at it. But intelligent argument never fails to leave a mark on me. Emotions sometimes make you stop advancing the argument and you have to learn a way to navigate towards the subject matter without causing serious emotional damage. Understanding other person's emotions certainly helps you in keeping the heat low! There are certain situations where I am able to do that, and certain others where I fail.
Re: Arguments
I am not interested in arguing especially arguments that are being done for the sake of arguing. Unless it's a really important topic I will not make an effort. Daily chik chik is unacceptable and if a person wants to argue over everything I will start avoiding them completely. Discussion != argument btw.
Re: Arguments
I just frown with my eyebrows and everyone gets scared
Re: Arguments
When husband and I argue, there's an earthquake in my house...both of us have the same volatile style!
Quiet, calm.. keep talking. I used to get angry and blow up/start yelling. No one listens if you do that. So i've learned to stay calm and keep talking. If the other person gets angry, i just stop talking.
I still get angry, which i need to work on. If i get angry my argument gets emotional.. which rarely works positively lol. So yeah.
Re: Arguments
I read somewhere if your struggling between doing the right thing or the nice thing ,to always do the nice thing since its usually the right thing. So when it comes to arguments; before i would argue, but in the end i would accomplish nothing other than being annoyed and making the other person annoyed/upset.
What i do now is better in the long run i found which is to ignore the thing that causes me to be angry and keep it inside. You do feel uncomfortable at first but after a few minutes you forget about it and an argument is avoided. The more you do it the easier it becomes to ignore annoying habits that you used to fight about previously. Now its starting to become second nature. I find myself more easy going and i get to enjoy more of life when i began letting things go.
Re: Arguments
I don't argue all the times, but rather try to avoid them by either conforming or ignoring depending on who is on the other side. If I really get into an argument, there is no easy giving up. In that case focus can be a mix of everything from the matter being discussed, emotions and the things said decades ago. Not sure about technique but one thing, no one wants me arguing with them.
Re: Arguments
I am not interested in arguing especially arguments that are being done for the sake of arguing. Unless it's a really important topic I will not make an effort. Daily chik chik is unacceptable and if a person wants to argue over everything I will start avoiding them completely. Discussion != argument btw.
Is that a not equal to sign?
Re: Arguments
I read somewhere if your struggling between doing the right thing or the nice thing ,to always do the nice thing since its usually the right thing. So when it comes to arguments; before i would argue, but in the end i would accomplish nothing other than being annoyed and making the other person annoyed/upset.
What i do now is better in the long run i found which is to ignore the thing that causes me to be angry and keep it inside. You do feel uncomfortable at first but after a few minutes you forget about it and an argument is avoided. The more you do it the easier it becomes to ignore annoying habits that you used to fight about previously. Now its starting to become second nature. I find myself more easy going and i get to enjoy more of life when i began letting things go.
Wow. You have attained a state of calm that one can only dream about. Good for you.
Re: Arguments
People argue all the time. TRUE. Some are good at it and some are really bad at it. THIS IS SUBJECTIVE. DEPENDING ON ONES POV, SOME ARE GOOD AT IT. AND THE SAME SOME COULD BE BAD FOR ANOTHER SET OF OBSERVERS. Some focus on the matter being discussed and some focus on the emotions that the matter raises. MATTER BEING DISCUSSED CAN HAVE EMOTIONAL REACTIONS. SO IT IS NOT EITHER OR.
What's your style? STATE FACTS. LISTEN TO OTHER SIDE. IF OTHER SIDE IS BLOWING HOT AIR, CALL THEM ON IT. IF OTHER SIDE MAKES VALID POINT, LEARN FROM IT. What have you learned over the years? What works and what doesn't work? LEARNED FROM EXPERIENCE IN THIS SITE - TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE POV OF THE MAJORITY AND BE SENSITIVE TO THEIR POV. MAKE POINT WITHOUT BEING A JACKASH. How would you change your current technique? MY TECHNIQUE IS PERFECT NOW. NO CHANGE NEEDED.
Responses in CAPS.
Re: Arguments
Is that a not equal to sign?
Yes. Programming syntax is everywhere.
Re: Arguments
^ I would like to argue that syntax is ash backwards. # is better syntax for not equal to.
Re: Arguments
great response people....thanks for sharing.
those that don't argue at all.....has that approach ever backfired on you?