Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
my ex sis in law was the same if i i brought sumthing for myself i always thought of her but never got anything back in return so i just stoped doin it, when we had arguments she would start i would always apologise but after just couldnt be bothered after realising what she was really like,
hun dont worry about it she will come round you just ignore it and just get on as normal
how long can she not talk to u
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
Red velvet thanks for your advice. I know how to deal with this next time from everyone advice but how to deal with situation now. now she's not talking to me and so on and I haven't said anything since. Shud I act like nothing happened ? In the past when anything has happened even if it's something she's done wrong , I have apologised and said sorry.
1) The reason she's not talking to you is because you embarrassed/offended her by confronting her about the gift. You shouldn't have done that...and I hope you now realize your mistake. It's something you learn from a young age...where mom tells you "Beta...even if you don't like the gift...fake a polite thank you." Just don't do that in the future. Even if she DOESN"T give you any gift....after you had given her something, just stay quiet about it. If you want to have gift confrontations with a person, then do it with your immediate family (sisters, brother, parents, husband)...but not with your in-laws, coworkers, friends, etc. Those relationships are way too delicate.
2) She's not talking to you right now and I bet she expects you to apologize to her......because that's what you have always done and that's what she is used to. She wants you to restore her ego/power over you...by apologizing to her. In reality she doesn't have any power over you........it's just YOU...yes YOU have given her that power over you.
3) I bet she's the kind of woman who.....no matter how many mistakes she commits....she never apologizes and acts as if nothing ever happened. Maybe you should try this strategy. Don't apologize to her. Just be cordial/polite to her and act as though nothing happened...and with time it will all blow over.
And have some more respect for yourself. Not everyone in this world is going to like you. And don't have high expectations from inconsiderate/insincere people. There are other sources you can depend upon to get better quality gifts.
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
Hmm.. I think you made it worse by confronting her.
My SIL has super taste. She is stylish and always upto date. When she returns from Pakistan, she brings gifts for all of us sister and mum. For us, she brings old used clothes. They are not in bad condition, but they are worn, either by her or her sisters. At first I felt insulted by her behaviour and felt she thought we were THAT stupid, but now I find her funny and think she is THAT stupid. I never wear them. Give them for charity instead. When she asks "Kapray kaise the? Size theek tha?" I just smile and say "haan jee, theek tha" .. She is not stupid. She knows very well where the clothes are going .. I think she made it easier for me. Before I was buying her expensive perfumes or cosmetics. Now I only buy toys for my adorable nephews :)
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
Red velvet thanks for your advice. I know how to deal with this next time from everyone advice but how to deal with situation now. now she's not talking to me and so on and I haven't said anything since. Shud I act like nothing happened ? In the past when anything has happened even if it's something she's done wrong , I have apologised and said sorry.
Just ignore her attitude and pretend nothing happened. If she is not talking to you, don't make an effort...eventually she will start talking.
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
Hmm.. I think you made it worse by confronting her.
My SIL has super taste. She is stylish and always upto date. When she returns from Pakistan, she brings gifts for all of us sister and mum. For us, she brings old used clothes. They are not in bad condition, but they are worn, either by her or her sisters. At first I felt insulted by her behaviour and felt she thought we were THAT stupid, but now I find her funny and think she is THAT stupid. I never wear them. Give them for charity instead. When she asks "Kapray kaise the? Size theek tha?" I just smile and say "haan jee, theek tha" .. She is not stupid. She knows very well where the clothes are going .. I think she made it easier for me. Before I was buying her expensive perfumes or cosmetics. Now I only buy toys for my adorable nephews :)
And you get some sawaab from Allah by giving the clothes to someone who needs them.
@msis....even a crappy gift can have it's uses. It can be a means for you to get some reward from Allah...which is better than the gift itself. So the next time...instead of getting all huffy and puffy over what she gave you....just regift it to someone who will appreciate it more.
And magnets are a common souvenir gift and it's functional. Use it to hold up important info on your fridge.
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
A gift is a gift. I know one does think that the next person is being very stingy but at least they had the courtesy to get something for you.
You shouldn't have confronted her about it...it made things look really bad and instead of her realising it made you look ungrateful and kind of laalchi in her eyes IMO.
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
lol almost satirical. feels like something i'd read in The Onion. Thread and replies. ROFL.
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
I think you deserve each other.
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
ps. I love buying magnets for fridge, my sister and I have filled our mom's fridge with cool magnets and most of them were gifts for our mom. :)
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
magnet ? awesome! talk about a unique gift.. you should be happy.
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
I would feel insulted/hurt, but it would clue me into the fact that I should not be putting so much effort/time/emotional strain into this relationship, cuz the other person won't. Tho it is harder with a SIL cuz marriage of a sibling binds you to this person and you want to have a good/close relationship.
Agree with Sahar here, I end up buying so much stuff for my SIL and in turn they get me nada or something that is cheap and not very attractive..
The fault is with me I go out of my way to buy things for them even if I don't get anything for myself and they are unappreciative so I have decided to give as much as they do and not expect anything back..
I guess it hurts when you see that they can buy things for their loved ones , sisters etc and not me..
The emotional gap I have is that I have no sisters and brothers as much as they care aren't close to me so I feel like I am trying to fill that gap all the time..
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
I love this response. :k:
Re: Arghhh help with sister in law wot shud I do
My SIL went on holiday to a place which is cheap to buy stuff from and all she got me was a fridge magnet. I said to her couldn't you have got me something for even a fiver that liked. And she said there was nothing in that country to buy . I've been informed by a reliable source exactly what she bought. She knows and acknowledged in the past that we have the same taste as each other and she is clear that I hate designer stuff so I am easy to buy for .
I don't ask her to get something for me in each country either as I know some countries are expensive but this one is definitely not. Thing is if I went on holiday and saw something I liked that's not where I live I start thinking about automatically buying one for my mum and SIL. Tell me how to handle this as I m really upset
Seriously?! Are you for real??
Firstly she bought you something...be grateful.
Secondly, you confronted her- Why would you say to someone 'you got me something cheap'? makes you sound pathetic and childish.
Finally, you said you have been informed by a reliable source what she bought? I assume you mean what she bought for herself? It could be maybe just maybe she didnt see anything that you would like even if you gave the 'same taste'...there are some things that you buy that wouldnt be a great present/suitable as a present.
Also, it sounds like you are more worried about WHAT someone gets you rather than if they get you anything at all. When someone gets you something it shows that while they were on a holiday in beautiful place, removed from society and everyday norms they were actually thinking of you. She could easily have not remembered you...but she did....therefore she cares. in my opinion you should focus on that fact rather than what you received!
I only say all this because i bought a freind something on holiday when i gave it to her she gave it back to me saying it was cheap....ungrateful or what