Okay, lets say that you are advising a non-muslim friend. She asks you about how to go about things with a certain problem she has with her boyfriend. Now lets say you do not encourage boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. Are you being hypocritical by advising her on these issues? What if she is muslim and you know she is being intimate with her boyfriend and she asks you for advice. Do you advise her? Are you encouraging her by advising her? I mean, is it sinful to advise on such things when you are asking a person to continue doing something you yourself wouldnt do? Should you just ask her to go and talk to someone else?
How can one be a relationship counsellor for example, if they dont approve of the types of relationships that are out there? Like lets say for example that you dont approve of gay relationships. And you are a counsellor. You get a gay client who is asking you to advise him about his relationship with his partner. What do you do? And is it unislamic in this instance to advise? Thanks.
^ Exactly. If you don't believe in the actions being carried out by your friend and she seeks advice on them, then tell her so. Just let her know that you aren't comfortable about speaking of such things as you don't approve of them so you don't want to offer (negatively) biased opinions on the matter. Be bold and be honest about about you feel about such topics. Believe me, you will not be doing her any favors but making it seem like you're ok with her attitudes about things you know you don't approve of and then going ahead with offering your opinions.
After giving advice when i thouht people needed it for some time, I have now resigned to only providing advice when asked, unless its something critical.
The advice you give a muslim and non muslim is normally different. With a muslim you can bring religion into it. I dont think you are being hypocritical, because the rules of muslims are not applied to non muslims. Its really upto you if you want to get involved, but usually I think its best not to.
I only ever give advice to my closest friends, (mainly muslims) and that only once. After that I dont like getting involved (unless they do it blatently in my face (ie. like drinking)). Its not worth it, if you keep on giving advice it doesnt work and it just pushes the other person away.
Munni I know for a fact that if you study psychology ,Islam plays a big role in it.It's a kind of challenge.I have yet to figure out a way around it.
Khair about giving advice to non Muslims -I usually give it the same as to other friends.Since they all know I am a Muslim -they usually dont mind when I bring religion into it. You dont have to bring religion into things if you dont want to- but your moral values can be enough.
I always thought advice was to be given based on the needs of the other person, not your beliefs, so long as its asked for, of course.
If you advise a person in order to help resolve some issue they have, I dont think it comes across as hypocritical, even though the issue may not be in line with your religious/social/personal beliefs.
Chances are, the person asking you for advice is perhaps aware of your beliefs being contrary to their issue. However, the reason they have approached you is because they need a generic resolution to their issue, not a specific one. Otherwise, everyone gay person would only go to a gay counsellor for relationship advice.
I think this is where the issue of tolerance/acknowledgement comes in. Acknowleding someone or somoenes lifestyle doesnt mean you accept it.
Hmm, I seem to be getting two opposing views here. One is to advise, the other is not to advise.
Allow me to elaborate further.
Let's say you have a friend who just had a big fight with her boyfriend. The fight had to do with him talking to another girl. She has come to you for advise on how to fix the relationship. Lets also say that you do not approve of boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. So if she doesnt go back with him, that would be best from your point of view. Do you advise her on how to fix the problem? If she is muslim, would your advice be the same? Thanks.