Re: Are there any/many socially liberal open minded Pakistani girls/guys?
Haha thanks for the words.
I am hardly a dream I am not an engineer or doctor, or from a high status family so that crosses a lot of criteria. Lol . I wonder how much that stereotype is real or if it’s media generalisation. I know a few Pakistani and desi guys who are complete opposite of that and they are open minded, willing to negotiate and be cooperative. Some of them have ended up with non-Pakistani women because the ones they came across wanted guys who were not like that. They were more into the bad boy who could be tamed. I don’t know that many Pakistani girls to generalise. I have come across some open minded ones. Quite a few who have recently arrived are more open minded than some who have grown up in West. Might be dependent on location. All my pakistani female cousins are very conservative and they tell me I must change if I want to have a Pakistani wife.
I agree with you on what some may prefer is not what they say. A female friend of mine was in a rishta with this good looking fair guy with good job and family that her parents arranged. She didnt seem happy. Her parents were very happy but he was not faithful to her flirting with other girls, sometimes he was verbally abusive and I would say chauvinistic in his attitudes. He did not want her to work after marriage. So they had a disagreement and he flirted with this other girl. The rishta broke up. She came to me. I comforted her, we became closer friends and over some time I felt I was in love with her and she was with me, we informed parents. Her parents accepted but they werent that happy as i was not as successful. Then quite a few months later I found out she was still seeing her ex rishta and she told me she wanted to marry him. Obviously I was devastated. I was the only guy she had really been with. In the end I couldn’t stop them but because I loved her a lot I took blame and said I wasn’t ready for marriage. She apologised to me but I knew I was just rebound rishta for her and she never loved me that way. It was all about physical affection. She is married now, also very religious and conservative, she doesn’t work and I am sure she looks down on me. He is very rich so he can give her all material comforts i could not. We never argued. She always used to talk about how she wanted to work and her ambitions. Now she does not even work. I just want to be successful find someone with similar beliefs but I have lost some faith in love as a concept.
I think they want is a bad boy type in short term they can tame and then a nice guy after marriage. I don’t really want to change who I am for anyone. I’d rather be accepted as I am or marry outside the fold if need be. My culture is important to me so I am hopeful like minded Pakistani girls exist. if not I don’t want to get married.