Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
So I gather from the replies that it is parents' fault for allowing their children to be wild and then ended up being "2nd citizens".
I agree that children these days are more hyper than the kids in past but I don't blame parents for everything. This modern layout, especially for people living in cities, is just not suitable for young people. We have more roads and cars than people, we have more buildings than plains and meadows, the environment today is just not suitable for kids.
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
^^
Thats true Hareem. Kids are not being given a good environment to grow in. When we were kids, I remember our parents making the kids meet and go and play separately while they enjoyed their parties separately. We fought, we cried, we laughed and we played, and no one else had to go through the fuss.
Today we had a whole family come over for a dinner at our place, and the youngest child was a total nightmare. He screamed at a pitch only Mariah Carey could have reached, and kept doing it, and EVERYONE in the room kept wincing. Then he proceeded to bite everyone in the room as well. Please parents, if you have such children, I beg you to keep them at home! I feel for the mother, she was so much fun to talk to her, but her son kept embarrassing the hell out of her. What I noticed was, that whenever he wanted, he would simply start screaming and hitting her, and she would only try to soothe him and plead him to stop. Thats another things folks, do not plead with your child, let them know you're the parent. Im not saying thats the only way to go about it, but in most cases where children throw a tantrum, its usually because the parents don't want to get too strict with them.
I understand as a parent you love your child a lot, and maybe because I dont have kid I dont understand their point of view, but is having your child throwing a tantrum worth the embarrassment you have to face in public?
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
I simply have no respect or sympathy for parents who think its perfectly fine for their baby to scream the whole place down, while they sit there doing nothing and happily finishing their meal. What do they think, the rest of the customers paid to hear all that racket? Good for you if you have a child, but rest of us also have hectic and depressing lives, we also deserve to have a good time especially when we're paying. I mean wth is this attitude, oh I have a child, I change nappies, I feed and somehow my presence and money is more special than yours? Fortunately the managers don't think like that.Being a parent doesn't mean everything still should be about you. There are plenty of parents who change their lifestyle, attitude and little ways for sake of their children, not because of others.
TodAy I was at my friends house,just when we started dinner her 18 months old was screaming and crying for no reason.she was even taking spoons from table and throwing them on floor...ahhh...how I wished I cud throw my plates away and Leave..I didn't even ate well..and her mom ( my friend ) was enjoying her meal like nothing is wrong with her baby..It was soooooo annoying...
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
Just for the information of the few on this forum, Kids, Infants are normally in the phase of growing and learning, it is their nature to test their limits and see how they can get the things done, crying and shouting and biting is part of the game, they are in process of learning and they won't learn until they were taught...
Now when the kid is gathering, they often get scared or shy, and then they want to be more attention of their parents then at home, so in order to get the attention, they start politely and then get into the highest pitch and start throwing things around just to force their will on the parents and parents just do not simply ignore the stuff, they ignore the protest they ignore his crying just to teach him that by doing all that s/he is not going to get the attention...
The little humans need to taught from day one, so one day they can be useful members of the society, i am sorry if some human thinks that it is not their duty to contribute in developing these little people...
little more to add, all these decent-attitudes and social behavior of the grown-ups is not result of one day BANG... it is long lengthy process which is still there...
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
TodAy I was at my friends house,just when we started dinner her 18 months old was screaming and crying for no reason.she was even taking spoons from table and throwing them on floor...ahhh...how I wished I cud throw my plates away and Leave..I didn't even ate well..and her mom ( my friend ) was enjoying her meal like nothing is wrong with her baby..It was soooooo annoying...
Free Advice!
Do not visit any friend who have babies... and when you have babies and they do the same, throw them out of the house so your guest can enjoy good meal!!!
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
Just for the information of the few on this forum, Kids, Infants are normally in the phase of growing and learning, it is their nature to test their limits and see how they can get the things done, crying and shouting and biting is part of the game, they are in process of learning and they won't learn until they were taught...
Now when the kid is gathering, they often get scared or shy, and then they want to be more attention of their parents then at home, so in order to get the attention, they start politely and then get into the highest pitch and start throwing things around just to force their will on the parents and parents just do not simply ignore the stuff, they ignore the protest they ignore his crying just to teach him that by doing all that s/he is not going to get the attention...
The little humans need to taught from day one, so one day they can be useful members of the society, i am sorry if some human thinks that it is not their duty to contribute in developing these little people...
little more to add, all these decent-attitudes and social behavior of the grown-ups is not result of one day BANG... it is long lengthy process which is still there...
I know if I invited a friend over and her child was throwing a tantrum I wouldn't just stand there and wait for the mother to soothe the kid, I would try my best to distract the kid somehow. This is what I mean when I say people losing tolerance with kids in general.
We can all wash our hands off by saying that my kid never does that but I believe a child throwing a tantrum should not be something alien to the world, tantrums are part of growing up, some kids do it some don't, kids are so unpredictable and you just can't blame the parents for that.
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
I know if I invited a friend over and her child was throwing a tantrum I wouldn't just stand there and wait for the mother to soothe the kid, I would try my best to distract the kid somehow. This is what I mean when I say people losing tolerance with kids in general.
We can all wash our hands off by saying that my kid never does that but I believe a child throwing a tantrum should not be something alien to the world, tantrums are part of growing up, some kids do it some don't, kids are so unpredictable and you just can't blame the parents for that.
So do I, if i went to someone's house or some comes to mine, i would do whatever possible to sooth child, doesn't matter if i have to take him out in fresh air or ask my friend to sooth the child while i do the chores... that is how it is done... it all tolerance.... we are raising a generation here...
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
yes im not going to visit them
i dont have kids yet,but when i will have kids and someone will visit my home and my kid will scream or something i will take him/her out of dining room…
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
I agree with Khawa, take the child away from the scene untill he or she calms down, or if the child is not calming down leave.
I personally could not allow my child to disturb others in a place like a coffee house or a restaurant and enjoy my food. It's not about being a second class citizen, it's about respecting others around you I guess...
also, we always try to avoid taking our child to evening weddings or movies or adult enjoyment places because if the child plays up we can't enjoy and neither can others around us.
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
If your kid is throwing tantrum, its YOU who needs to deal with it and accommodate and not others!!!
You are the parent and know your kid's temperament. Do not put them in situation which is not a good fit for them.
You want to go out for a movie or enjoy a nice piece of stake then hire a baby sitter for the night. Don't tag along your beans with you.
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
but then where is appropriate? because i think that eating out is something everyone should be allowed to do, and a busy parent even more than most because i can just imagine them wanting to get out of the house for a change and see something else and do something else. i don't think these people in question are bringing their children to 5-star restaurants at night or nightclubs or bars... they're probably just going out for lunch and brunch etc. which are pretty family friendly activities. i mean, as a parent, let me tell you, if my world shrunk down to yo gabba gabba and mcdonalds with a playplace, i *will *lose my mind.
and maybe this is a controversial thought and clearly an unpopular opinion here, but if my kid has a crying fit while i'm eating, sure i'll do what i can to calm him down, but i ain't walking out, that's for sure. i've paid for my meal too and taken time out to come and eat it too and my time is far more precious when it comes to scheduling things between naptimes and feedings than the average childless person who can comparatively speaking just up and go anywhere. i have very little sympathy for people who don't want me and my baby around because it will inconvenience their ear drums for an hour out of their precious life. if you don't like it, maybe you should get up and leave and take a walk around the block to calm down like you expect me to do with my baby.
I think it depends on the child's age. When my daughter was an infant, we would take her along. The only concern was that she'd wake up and want to be held, but that wasn't hard to address, and we weren't really disturbing the atmosphere of the restaurant.
But there were times where the noise or lighting or whatever seemed to much for her and we would take her out.
But toddlers are very different.
1. Toddlers don't want to sit still. Sure you can train them to sit and eat for a little while, and bring their toys or coloring to keep them busy at the table, but they are in a new place and it is only natural for them to want to explore and run around.
It's one thing to scold a child when they do something wrong, as long as a right option is available. But if the right option is simply "sit still" I think that that is a little unfair to them.
Re: Are parents in danger of becoming second-class citizens?
These are businesses afterall. The cost of losing parents has to be greater than the cost of annoyed non-parents in order for them to cater to us. We have to show that we are an economic force to be reckoned with. Otherwise, why should they try to accommodate us?
