[quote]
Originally posted by PyariCgudia:
**Changez, the two ayas you gave here -- do not say that men and women cannot have social interaction...it just says that a woman should guard her physical features from being highly noticed by a man, and that you really should not be gazing into one another's eyes when talking...
it does not say "thou shalt not exchange words or ideas with each other"**
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so a boy can have a girlfriend provided that he does not have any physical contact with her and avoids eye contact, avoids looking at her body and ofourse is not alone with her in the sense that she should always bring along an adult mehram with her everytime they go out on a date or see each other....
and yes exchange of romantic words is also to be avoided completely....
if this is the case, i see no reason why a boy cannot have a girl friend....
so all boys willing to follow this can have a gf on my authority....
"Our Lord! forgive us our sins and anything we may have done that transgressed our duty; establish our feet firmly and help us against those that resist faith." **Quran(3:147)
[quote]
Originally posted by shack:
*of course you can have GF/BF its perfectly normal,,many Asains,,particularly men are growing up to mentally and socially inept,,
*
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shack, could u plzz support ur answer with "religion"?
EVEN if Asian men are growing up to be mentally and socially inept[ACCORDING to u that is] then the reason for that is not because they don't have any g/f but this depends on factors like their upbringing, social background & to some extent education too.
And most importantly cause' of their weak faith due to which they cannot make the right decision.
[quote]
Originally posted by shack: Their is a great deal wrong with the Asain community,,males and females do not know how to express themselves,,many of the social issues are swept under the carpet,,of course having relationships is normal,, Also this creates desperados,,,relationships go on but they are almost perversely hidden and covered up,
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are u trying to say that ppl can't express themselves cause' they don't have a gf/bf!!
It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces towards East or West; but it is righteousness to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity, to fulfil the
contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-fearing. Verse 177 : Surah Al-Baqarah ]
[This message has been edited by Akif (edited June 10, 2002).]
I've already denounced the whole westernized concept of a date and girl-boyfriend relationships.
But what is wrong with me being FRIENDS with a guy? And then finding him attractive and he me? And then also, at the same time, realizing thru getting to know him as a person that he'd be a great father, that he would respect me as an individual when married and not as a work slave, that he would not object to me having a career....these things can't be determined these days by families exchanging words with one another. If you're a sex-starved maniac who doesn't believe in a woman stepping out doors, do you honestly expect me to believe that when your parents are rishtaa hunting for you, that they will be honest to a girl's parents and tell them "our son has problems. he belongs in a mental asylum. but we're still asking for your daughter's hand." ??
No, they will be perfectly normal, come across as a family with high values and ideals and education and woo the girl into marriage. Next thing she knows, she's locked in her room, refused to be allowed to go to work, and ordered around for the rest of her life in having children so dadi amma can have fun with the kids becuz her own life is too pathetic without a baby in the house at all times.
And these cases are not a figment of my imagination either. These cases have happened and happen with surprisingly high frequency than what one would expect. What a guy's family or even a girl's family appear before the rishtaa doens't guarantee a couple's happy marriage.
to cute_boy the reason you ask such a stupid question is because it is within your capacity to think that,, why would you want to see some one get them pregnant then leave them,,,what are you saying that you need a rule to stop you doing this,,are yu really so stupid,,I have no qualms with any rational,,progressive,,well educated man dating my sister,,She has been bought up to know the difference between right and wrong and also to know what to look out for,,,we don't mix in narrow minded circles like yourself.. We are a well respected progressive family and we behave as such..
Unfortunatley many asain males like yourself have not had the benefit of such a good up bringing so need rules forced on you rather than using good judgement.
16:23 Undoubtedly Allah doth know what they conceal, and what they reveal: verily He loveth not the arrogant.
16:24 When it is said to them, "What is it that your Lord has revealed?" they say, "Tales of the ancients!"
16:25 Let them bear, on the Day of Judgment, their own burdens in full, and also (something) of the burdens of those whom they misled without knowledge. Alas, how grievous the burdens they will bear!
BTW being progressive doesn't necessarily mean being Westernized.
[This message has been edited by sallu123 (edited June 10, 2002).]
[This message has been edited by Akif (edited June 10, 2002).]
It is sick shack and nothing else!!!
I don’t believe in this tupid love affairs…because i have seen ppl who fall for them either the girls are flirting or the guys are…and what’s the end they get corrupted. i’ve seen pretty beautiful intelligent girls in Pakistan falling for false promise of some weird guy…and i always told them that it won’t do u any good…now they say why didn’t u warn us. What is the future of these girls? spliting love b/w a boyfriend and a husband. I believe only ur husband deserves ur love.
Love is a precious thing…and many ppl don’t know its worth!they say what if ur husband isn’t sincere to u? my answer is that i have to answer my lord for my deeds not this weird world who doesnot know what is good and what is bad for itself.
I know guys are not completely to blame…it is girl’s fault too. Because i have learnt from experience that if u ignore the guy twice…he would forget u in a second..But intentionally or unintentionally if u pass him a smile…Then only lord can help u. seriously both girls and guys of our society are such desparadoes.
I mean ppl once in a life time we have to get married…and we don’t marry our own gender right…so what’s the rush? i mean already after u get married u have to spend more than half the life with a guy…why try to impose a guy on urself before that???
Shack don't say big words....
I used to think like you....
But Saitaan is very dangerous....
Apki education, broad minded personality dhari ki dhari reh jati hai jab saitan apn jaal bichata hai.....
Once you are in it you go deep n deep
[quote]
Originally posted by shack:
**to cute_boy the reason you ask such a stupid question is because it is within your capacity to think that,, why would you want to see some one get them pregnant then leave them,,,what are you saying that you need a rule to stop you doing this,,are yu really so stupid,,I have no qualms with any rational,,progressive,,well educated man dating my sister,,She has been bought up to know the difference between right and wrong and also to know what to look out for,,,we don't mix in narrow minded circles like yourself.. We are a well respected progressive family and we behave as such..
Unfortunatley many asain males like yourself have not had the benefit of such a good up bringing so need rules forced on you rather than using good judgement.**
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PyariCgudia,
Will you use the 'ignorance' of many people, who carry the label of muslims, to declare that relations(albeit only friendship) is allowed? It seems to me that you're looking at the bad cases that happen, and then making your decision without looking at the good examples.
There are lots of ways to get to know if a prospective person makes a good husband. Participate in the local masjid, hang around with local muslim girls, the reputation of a decent and practising individual will precede him. Maybe some of that guys' female relatives also pray at the local mosque, and would give you a better idea of what the person is like. If you'd like to follow what Islam asks of you, there are tonnes of ways to do it.