[QUOTE]
marriages are “made in Heaven”?
[/QUOTE]
thats one way of coaxing ppl into something, shutting the mind from reasoning.
thats exactly what my mom believes in, but she has a different reasoning for it.. when she says matches are made in heaven means you never know whom you are getting married to rather than the facts about "life after marriage".. she believes in this because of her experiences in life...like, my sis was engaged for two yrs. but then they broke up because of family issues for almost a year and half, but they approached again and then within six months mashallah she was happily married to the same guy..means that was the only guy she was destined to no matter how worse the situation was... as well as one of my cousins was engaged for 7 yrs, her date of marriage was fixed, and then they came to know a day before the nikkah that the guy was the "Razai chacha" of the grl so they didn't get marry.and there are couple of other cases too.. thats why my mom strongly believes that marriages are decided in heaven.. Allah knows better.. just my two cents 'coz its been discussed at my place every now and then. :-)
Marriages are not made in heaven. That's all a bunch of bs.
Salaam.
I don't belief that matches is making in
heaven i only belief in Faith.
That some women/girls believe in that
that matches is made is haven need a
Wake Up Call!!!.
Nilu(((((Anila))))))
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by funguy: *
Wait another 10 years or so and you will get it.
[/QUOTE]
So it needs me to be 27 and past it to understand? ok, I capiche :p
By the term 'made in heaven' what people probably mean is that it is all predestined. It doesn't mean its going to be all hunky dory and a perfect match. A match made in heaven would mean a perfect match but what desis mean when they talk of all matches being made in heaven or 'joriyaan aasmaan pe banti hein' and stuff like that is that it is all preordained.
Birth, death, marraige, rizk(I hope I pronounced it correct)) and aulaad are all predestined.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Femme Fatale: *
By the term 'made in heaven' what people probably mean is that it is all predestined. It doesn't mean its going to be all hunky dory and a perfect match. A match made in heaven would mean a perfect match but what desis mean when they talk of all matches being made in heaven or 'joriyaan aasmaan pe banti hein' and stuff like that is that it is all preordained.
Birth, death, marraige, rizk(I hope I pronounced it correct)) and aulaad are all predestined.
[/QUOTE]
Femme, but where is the reference that everyone uses to say marriage is predestined to a certain person/people? Besides the fact that everything we will ever do is written in Al-Lauh al Mahfuz. Thanks.
matches are made in heaven but then a man can change his destiny, depending on his commitment and hardwork.
similarly just a match made in heaven dosent gaurantee any thing especiall a happy married life.
Life is all about test and over coming the problems that you face in that test and if you did had any trobule at all in you life i.e. of work, school, relationship, kids etc you must be an angle then.
and 52% divorce rate dosent tell you any thing other than that people making stupid decession in first place.
Some people stick to their abusive husbands / bad wifes because the are just too afraid to change their destiny and take that next step.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by kewlsolara: *
matches are made in heaven but then a man can change his destiny, depending on his commitment and hardwork.
similarly just a match made in heaven dosent gaurantee any thing especiall a happy married life.
Life is all about test and over coming the problems that you face in that test and if you did had any trobule at all in you life i.e. of work, school, relationship, kids etc you must be an angle then.
and 52% divorce rate dosent tell you any thing other than that people making stupid decession in first place.
Some people stick to their abusive husbands / bad wifes because the are just too afraid to change their destiny and take that next step.
[/QUOTE]
Well-said and I agree, but then also you're contradicitng yourself. You're negating your own first sentence.
which sentence is that :)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *
hmmm Munni i have heard that when a person is born three things r predestined for the person
place and time of death and who the person is gona marry
[/QUOTE]
i have heard the same ... interesting thread btw ......
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *
hmmm Munni i have heard that when a person is born three things r predestined for the person
place and time of death and who the person is gona marry
[/QUOTE]
Not true. Marriage is a choice we are to make, not something pre-destined. It's a very common and false saying among Pakistani's that "marriages are made in heaven".
In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful.
002.221: Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.
004.025: If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess: And Allah hath full knowledge about your faith. Ye are one from another: Wed them with the leave of their owners, and give them their dowers, according to what is reasonable: They should be chaste, not lustful, nor taking paramours: when they are taken in wedlock, if they fall into shame, their punishment is half that for free women. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin; but it is better for you that ye practise self-restraint. And Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
005.005: This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
033.049: O ye who believe! When ye marry believing women, and then divorce them before ye have touched them, no period of 'Iddat have ye to count in respect of them: so give them a present. And set them free in a handsome manner.
033.052: It is not lawful for thee (to marry more) women after this, nor to change them for (other) wives, even though their beauty attract thee, except any thy right hand should possess (as handmaidens): and Allah doth watch over all things.
060.010: O ye who believe! When there come to you believing women refugees, examine (and test) them: Allah knows best as to their Faith: if ye ascertain that they are Believers, then send them not back to the Unbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the Unbelievers, nor are the (Unbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them. But pay the Unbelievers what they have spent (on their dower), and there will be no blame on you if ye marry them on payment of their dower to them. But hold not to the guardianship of unbelieving women: ask for what ye have spent on their dowers, and let the (Unbelievers) ask for what they have spent (on the dowers of women who come over to you). Such is the command of Allah: He judges (with justice) between you. And Allah is Full of Knowledge and Wisdom.
Narrated by Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.
Re: Are matches "made in Heaven"?
they are made by hearts...
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by kewlsolara: *
which sentence is that :)
[/QUOTE]
Kewlsolara, your first sentence which goes: "matches are made in heaven but then a man can change his destiny, depending on his commitment and hardwork."
Marriages aren't made in heaven, however man CAN decide his own destiny, so you're partly right. Also, changing your destiny has nothing to do with things like commitment and hardwork. Basically, you choose your destiny based on what is the most beneficial course of action, action that serves your best interests. This is the way of human nature.
:)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sweetpie: *
Kewlsolara, your first sentence which goes: "matches are made in heaven but then a man can change his destiny, depending on his commitment and hardwork."
Marriages aren't made in heaven, however man CAN decide his own destiny, so you're partly right. Also, changing your destiny has nothing to do with things like commitment and hardwork. Basically, you choose your destiny based on what is the most beneficial course of action, action that serves your best interests. This is the way of human nature.
:)
[/QUOTE]
you are right sweetpie,
I agree with what Fret and others like kewlsolara are saying. I do not believe marriages are made in heaven.
Heres my explanation, feel free to disagree:
Everything we do is considered fate. This is because of the Book of Decrees. (I am now talking Islamic perspective here.) Everything we have and will ever do is in the Book of Decrees. So nothing goes un-noticed by Allah. This is what we call fate I believe. However, if one says that "my marriage was made in heaven" they seem to be saying that, Allah planned for that person to marry that person. I find this to be unjustified because why would Allah give guidlines on whom to marry and whom not to marry? Why would lets say, a woman's marriage be invalid if she married a non-muslim? Allah is NOT unjust, he is JUST. He won't punish you for something He made you do. I hope you understand my contention. It is said time and again, that Allah wants us to be good followers, but He permits us to do as we please. So, eventhough Allah grants permission for a person to marry another, it doesnt mean He "forced" the marriage. It was in your fate because Allah knew you would make that decision, not because He made that decision for you. Certain things like birth and death, and our wages, are knownst by Allah, that He grants the provision for, but these are not things that will be judged later. Marriage is, which I think people fail to realize. How you treat your children will be judged. The day you are born and die will not be judged, etc.
And finally, think about why we do istikhara. We do it so that Allah helps us in our decision process. But how many people go against their istikhara. Just think about that.
This doesnt mean that I dont think Allah puts certain people in your lives/across your path, I am talking about the decision process in itself. And that is how I think of a lot of things, like things that happen to you that you consider to be bad. Allah puts certain trials, but you decide how they are going to go, and how you are going to deal with them, if you are going to deal with it at all. Because you can choose to isolate yourself and cry all day and night, or you can choose to get involved and do something about it.
In essence, you can never take fate away from it, but the contention still stands that Allah does not make this critical decision of whom you marry for you.
So this is my reasoning. smile