Erm k…seeing as how so many of my friends have kids, I shoudl know this by now but for some reason I’m having a mental block right now.
If a friend has recently delivered, when is it appropriate to contact them to go see them? Or do you wait for them to contact you?
Also, if you give something at a baby shower, are you expected to give again when you see the baby in person?
Re: Appropriate timing?
Don’t wait to be contacted. She’s probably too overwhelmed right now to think that way.
I think it really depends on the person and the status quo in your group. Some people welcome visitors in the hospital or in those first few days at home, while other people are still taking care of them. Other prefer to be back on their feet, in which case you may need to wait for a month. Why not just contact and ask.
And though you don’t have to, I always like to bring something small when I first see the baby.
Check with her hubby
Re: Appropriate timing?
My sister would hate it when people phoned for mubarak, because they’d spend 15-20 mins talking about how she feels etc, and all the while she’d be stressed on the other end of the phone trying to get two toddlers to share their toys while cleaning up the puke of her newborn lol. So maybe wait a while for her to settle into her role as mum to her newborn before you contact her. She will probably be too busy to notice you haven’t called anyway.
Re: Appropriate timing?
depends how close the friend is, I straight went into hospital in case of close friends, others I called as soon as I came to know and after a week or 2 weeks I call and ask how are they doing and if settled then I would like to visit them but I made sure not to remain there for long hours.
Re: Appropriate timing?
Sara, I would just contact them and make a short trip. You don’t have to give anything again. Maybe take a dish with you. Ask her what is she craving and maybe take that. You can always ask her if she is okay with visitors or would like you to wait a little longer.
Re: Appropriate timing?
in my family, when we see baby first time we give some money apart from baby shower gift, but depends how close you are to the family or friend.
Re: Appropriate timing?
I usually give a little something again when I see the baby for the first time. As someone who’s been through it twice I really appreciated when people brought food LOL!
Re: Appropriate timing?
Best advise
Re: Appropriate timing?
No harm in calling her I think. If she’s too busy/overwhelmed, she won’t pick up (and that’s perfectly understandable) - just leave her a nice message in that case. If she’s a close friend just check with her hubby and show up in person. In my family it’s customary to give a small gift to the newborn when you first see him/her - usually it’s some clothing item. It will be a nice touch to carry food or flowers for the new mom too.
Re: Appropriate timing?
Since I just had a baby I can say that don’t wait for her to contact you. I loved having visitors over since it gave me some sanity time sort of. You don’t have to take a big gift. I think even flowers would be nice.
Re: Appropriate timing?
Okay so I made the initial contact, and she said “sometime next week” is good…(aka this week)…so do the same rules apply here or no? Do I follow up with her or wait for her to contact me? Under normal circumstances if someone says they’re free at a certain time, I let them set the date then, but this is a different situation I guess because like you all said…she may be overwhelmed? so idk.
Re: Appropriate timing?
Ask her if xyz date and time will work for her, if not, then ask her what day and time window will best work for her.
Re: Appropriate timing?
Contact her the day before and ask her if the next day is okay – give her a couple choices of specific times.