Application To Date My Daughter
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
- NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH __________
- HEIGHT __________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______
G.P.A.______ - SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # ____________
- BOY SCOUT RANK__________
- HOME ADDRESS ______________ CITY/STATE _________ ZIP ________
- Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE
parent?___________________________
If No., EXPLAIN ___________________________ - Number of years your parents have been married
- Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______
Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? A ___________________________
(If “yes” to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises ) - In 50 words or less, what does “LATE” mean to
you?___________________________ - In 50 words or lest, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you? ___________________________
- In 50 words or less, what does ''ABSTINENCE" mean to you? ___________________________
- Church you attend ___________________________
How often do you attend ___________________________ - When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? ___________________________
- Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won’t tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
c) A woman’s place is in the
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her Is
- What do you want to be IF you grow up?
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, & CHINESE WATER TORTURE .
Signature (That means your name, moron)
Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t and it would cause you injury.) if your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back).
Howzat??