I mentioned about a friend of mine in my previous thread related to when a man misses a woman.
Here is something in continuation of that story. So i met the friend again and she told me that she and the guy had a discussion over whether they should have nikkah or engagement. The guy doesnt want to take chances and is for the engagement, my friend on the other hand is satisfied with her decision and wants to go for nikkah. I get the feeling she is sounding desperate to him even though its meant not to be that way because she wants the nikkah so that its more legal and she can get her visa processing till then. During the conversation, she told me that although the reasons were family’s willingness for nikkah and Visa processing, she ended up looking clingy and desperate instead. She said i could feel the vibe of the guy getting scared of such rush of events and what-ever-is-wrong-with-this-girl kind of feeling even though she was the one who was talking sense.
I think its understandle if the guy needs more time but in such situations girls being girls tend to seem and look more needy. Its natural with girls because when they commit themselves with some one, they go forward with it whole heartedly. Guys, on the other hand take their time to open up and take one step at a time. Wonder what girls should do in such situations to not appear that desperate and needy when they are even talking sense.
Re: Appearing desperate & clingy ........!
Well she is scaring the guy so i wuldnt blame him for being cautious.
Re: Appearing desperate & clingy ........!
Girls are not desperate but they are more majboor. They have pressure from their family to get married and she pressure the guy to make it official so guy thinks that girl is desperate which is not the case.
Re: Appearing desperate & clingy ........!
Girls are desperate in that sense that they do not want to go through the hell in the rishta process by letting go of a good rishta and that makes them behave clingy.
Your friend want to make things happen according to her family's wishes so that they do not call things off and make her look into other rishtas and go through the process all over again. She might like the guy but there can be a better guy she might meet in the future. But for that, she will have to go through the process all over again which might cause her to cling to this guy and make things work with him. The guys have no problem when they consider innumerable girls for marriage and they do not get attach very quickly. So the guy might be taking some time while your friend might sound like desperate to him.
Re: Appearing desperate & clingy ........!
if the guy likes her why engagement? he should agree to the nikkah. I dislike this silly concept of engagement, and as a family elder always says " engagements are meant to be broken":)