There are a lot of desi guys at my college who act “tough”. They dress like they’re so cool, talk “slang” all the time, talk about drinking/clubbing etc. Someone told me that most guys like this just act this way to appear “cool”. But inside they’re a diff. person. Is this true?
may be may be not. there are enough guys who do actually go drinking and etc and then there are people who feel it necessary to be part of that group cause they are precieved as the "acceptable and cool " gang.
Its like a bully. Is he really a bully or just a scared coward inside.
on the OPrah show, some sayd that people who do things like bullying only do that to protect them sleves. They think that if they show that they are vulnareble people will hurt them. So they dont give other people the chanceto get mean by acting tough.
they do that to get noticed .... and I guess it works.
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Its hard to "generalize", evey human mind is different from other. Someone may be really into it, someone may be "wannabe" type bully etc.
May Allah SWT guide us all towards right and help us follow the right
Some of them just have an inferiority complex and they do it to seek attention.
** * Life is what you make of it... so make it good! ** *
[quote]
Originally posted by lost:
Lets address your issues one item at a time..
*There are a lot of desi guys at my college who act "tough". *
what is acting tough?
** They dress like they're so cool, **
do you want them to start dressing like total geeks instead?
** talk "slang" all the time, **
Whats wrong with using slang? how many words ahev you just used in your post which could be considered slang?
*talk about drinking/clubbing etc. *
so they do, whats the big deal about it?
** Someone told me that most guys like this just act this way to appear "cool". But inside they're a diff. person. Is this true? **
maybe thats who they are, I personally see no issue with someone "acting tough" or "dressing cool" or "using slangs" anymore than I would have issues with anyone "acting shy" or "dressing badly" or "speaking proper langauge"
The clubbing is a whole diff issue and drinking is a diff issue on top of that. People go through phases in life some make the right decisions and some dont, those who dont either change their behavior at some point in time and some do not.
You can not know a person just by appearances what theya re really like. I know some mild mannered religious guys who had a dark aspect to their personality which was being the Jamiaat goons terrorizing college campuses in Karachi.
Basically, most of the stuff these guys do may not be to your liking but there is nothing wrong with it at all. There is no guarantee that they are any different in private or not.
**
[/quote]
"what is acting tough?"
It's kinda difficult to describe...if you ever watch shows like Law&Order or other cop shows...and see the "bad guys" there...and how they usually act "tough" by their body language, words they use etc., it's very similar to that.
"do you want them to start dressing like total geeks instead?"
Many of these guys dye/highlight their hair blonde. Pierce their ears. Wear necklaces and rings. They wear shirts and jackets that are more suited for clubs(things that literally shines and stands out across the room). Everytime I see them, most of these guys look like they're about to go to some huge party or club. I don't know whether or not the following is considered "geeky" these days but what happened to wearing jeans, and a t-shirt? Or dress pants with "regular" colored dress shirts(instead of neon colors, or gold/silver etc)?
"Whats wrong with using slang? how many words ahev you just used in your post which could be considered slang?"
I should've been more specific on this one. They cuss a lot. I have never had a conversation with them/or heard them having a convo. with someone else, with hearing the words "hell", "damn", "$hit", "f*ck" etc. in almost every other sentence. And also, I have no problem with slangs like "cool" but these guys add "z" at the end of majority of the words...such as "howz", "watz" etc.
And what on earth is the deal with calling each other "homies"?
talk about drinking/clubbing etc.
"so they do, whats the big deal about it?"
Umm..are you saying that these days, it's perfectly acceptable, "ok", for desi Muslim guys to go clubbing/drink? Most Muslim guys don't see anything wrong with it?
"You can not know a person just by appearances what theya re really like. I know some mild mannered religious guys who had a dark aspect to their personality which was being the Jamiaat goons terrorizing college campuses in Karachi.
Basically, most of the stuff these guys do may not be to your liking but there is nothing wrong with it at all. There is no guarantee that they are any different in private or not."
I never said they must behave in a certain way. I simply said that this is the way most of the guys here behave and whether or not this represents most desi Muslim guys who are raised here. It's something I'm curious about. Maybe it's just the people here or maybe it's me but I don't see any diff. b/t the desi guys and b/t the white/black guys here except their skin color. They don't seem to care or even know that much about their culture and religion. And that saddens me.
I never said they have to behave the way I want them to or anything like that. They can do whatever they want. I'm just curious as to how "normal" this type of behavior/attitude/belief is among guys.
This seems simply like a question of basic good manners. Muslim or not, it isn't exactly the way to put others at ease, or show respect for them. They just might grow up... and then, they may not. I wouldn't waste my time on them. Surely you have alternatives, socially?
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by lost:
**
Umm..are you saying that these days, it's perfectly acceptable, "ok", for desi Muslim guys to go clubbing/drink? Most Muslim guys don't see anything wrong with it? **
No you missed the boat on that big time. I was suggesting that TALKING about clubbing or drinking does nothing, I kid around about drugs..does it really mean I do it...Also with clubbing, diff people have diff reasons..some can go to get wasted and pick up girls, some may just go to hang out play pool, hang out with teh friends and come back.
Based on the clothes and look athat you described they probbaly hang out at some real guido clubs if they go out to clubs at all.
More often than not its all an act, and they are accha bacchas at home trying to project a bad boy image because thats what is considered sexy.
I knew a guy during grad school, who talked in this whole gangsta style, dressed that way, but was a very religious, very decent, med school student and an Ivy league grad..I also know of people who dressed very conservatively, acted generally mature but drank and had girlfriends.
So the real issue is knowing who someone really is..is someone dressing and talking in a certain way because they enjoy it, or is someone who is all shareef and seedha actually all shareef and seedha.
In my expereince, I have seen Pakistani guys who have come here for school get more corrupted than local kids.
Its hard to believe...plz tell me its only a small minority of confused desis..cos I had another image of it from my school time there.
[This message has been edited by SADI (edited January 23, 2002).]