Let’s say you have a difference of opinion with someone and you’re having a heated debate or are going round and round on the issue with no end in sight. The cause of the disagreement isn’t a huge deal and apologizing won’t cost you anything, and will bring a rapid end to the debate.
Do you:
apologize/admit you’re wrong just to appease the other person and want an end to the debate/argument?
or
stand firm and make the other person admit they’re wrong - since hey, you’re right/they’re wrong and you need them to admit they’re wrong to prove your point.
or
refuse to admit you’re wrong because admitting you’re wrong when you’re not sends the wrong message.
or
agree to disagree and ask for a truce on the matter?
Okay, I'll give my take. I'm not a fan of #1. I don't like to be coerced/pushed into saying I'm wrong when I know I'm not. By all means, if I've made a mistake, I have no problem admitting it - but when I haven't done anything wrong, being made to feel or admit that I have feels wrong.
I generally do #4 - propose that we agree to disagree - but that requires the other person's agreement of the same and if they're stubborn, they won't let you just end the disagreement.
I've done number 1..mostly with older relatives because it makes them feel better. If I am indeed right, they know it but just don't want to say it. I like number 4 as well. I'm the type of person who argues just a bit but backs off very quickly not because I am losing an argument but because I think generally people love arguing and I don't. I'm a laid back person and I usually don't care if people agree with me or not. Now if it's something I'm defending myself for then I'll try to go as far as I can.
Number 1 -- mostly to end an argument that doesn't really impact any real situation
Number 4 -- when the person is intelligent enough to know that we are not getting anywhere and the end result is not really going to change anything.
I will apologize only to Allah(SWT) although I might think I have done no wrong but I can never be sure about it.
And I will apologize to someone if some of my vested interest could get jeopardized if I did not.
Please Don't make faces or judge me I am being honest. Most of us would behave this way.
I won't say that I've never apologized even when I'm right - but it may have been in situations where the other person is older and out of respect.
But I resent being told to admit I'm wrong when I don't feel like I'm wrong. I think it sends the wrong message, almost as if the other person can manipulate me into doing as they want with no consideration for my feelings. I also think it sets a dangerous precedent in a relationship to say you're wrong when you're not - it opens you up to being taken advantage of.
If I see that it will go no where, I just change the topic. This mostly happen with older relatives who mostly think that you are being "batameez" if you try to give your (conflicting) opinion. Debate or argument with such relatives will never go anywhere. I never apologize but I just do "acha ...aisa hota a...acha acha.." . If you continue the argument with such people, it will end up in bad taste no matter what.
Then there is another type of people who genuinely believe on something as strongly as I do and they have some logic to it (right or wrong thats another thing). Their argument normally is not based on "I am elder thats why i am right" fact. I normally agree to disagree with such people.
i think it depends on the person with who are having arguement with.
- for me if someone is older than me OR someone i don't want to waste my time with, i just do # 1
-with friends or cousins i just do # 2 lol !
With older relatives, I may also apologize for continuing a debate that has no end in sight, but not for my opinion.
With a couple people in my life who do communicate really well, I am able to really get their point of view and they get mine and we're able to see how each other's pov adds to ours.
In between 2 and 4. I would never lie about my opinion and at the same time would never force the other to change their opinion unless and until they understand they are wrong.
Oh I will go with number 1 without thinking and I wont be lying. In such situation, I feel that I was wrong to get into usless argument with a wrong person. Another thing is that I dont mind feeding people's ego every now and then.