Anyone go against the grain (or family) and take a chance on love?

[OYMWA]

Re: Anyone go against the grain (or family) and take a chance on love?

@soconfused

I did. We haven’t gotten married yet (iA in 3 months eep!) but even getting to an engagement was a problem.

I’m punjabi syed (ugh) from pakistan and my fiance is hydro (NOT syed…in fact doesn’t believe in it) and from India. They’re pretty americanized in terms of knowing their culture (he’s never gone back and his entire family is here) vs my family that goes back every year (my mom’s side is all still in pakistan). Talk about difference…My dad threatened to leave the house if I told them to come over for a rishta (packed his bags and everything) but my mom stood her ground and said that I had a right to marry who I wanted islamically as long as I wasn’t doing something haram and he eventually caved. Then when he met the family, there was MORE drama. My in-laws are very conservative and dress super modestly/no makeup. My family, like most of the Pakistani families we know are more modren in that regard and dressing up is a big thing. So my parents were kind of put off by that.

They were fine (dad still throwing tantrums though) up until we went and visited their house. When they had come over, my mom had cooked 5-6 dishes + 2 desserts…basically a LOT. And it was all amazing since my parents are well known for being good cooks. We go over to their house and there’s like 3 dishes that are HORRIBLE (my MIL admits she doesn’t know how to cook), she forgot to put out the appetizers because she was nervous (she says) and there was no dessert. Seems minor but my parents were unhappy. Dad refused to talk to me that night and my mom seemed disappointed/worried about how we were so different but kept quiet. My dad barely talked to the next day at my engagement. Basically ignored me and had a sour face in every picture to the point that my friends noticed and asked me about it. It was terrible and I left back for school after crying. I guess my sister had a few choice words to say to my dad after that and he’s been fine ever since.

There’s definitely been hiccups along the way (look at my posts in wedding forum lol) but my fiance and I are just keeping our eyes on the goal. My parents freak out because it’s a love marriage and he’s NOT what they had thought I was going to marry but for the most part they’ve snapped out of it and are okay. They just have their moments where they’ll say something that bothers me about it.

Sometimes those comments get to me and I wonder if I did the right thing. But then I see my fiance (this sounds cheesy as hell and I want to puke even typing it) and I realize how much he does to make me happy and make things easy for me and I’m sure that I couldn’t have found someone better. My parents see it too–my inlaws are incredibly simple and God fearing and they let my type A punjabi family make ALL the wedding decisions to try to appease them–and appreciate that. ESPECIALLY when they hear horror stories about in-laws from hell.

hehe..you should go to TNT.. they know drama!