Okay so this is my first post so please help me out a little. It looks like I will probably be having an arranged marriage and I am soooo scared of things possibly going wrong or if it just doesn’t work out for whatever reason.
I guess what I wanted to ask was whether you yourselves had an arranged marriage or know someone who had one, how is it? Are you happy? What’s your story?
Pleaseeeee help me out!!!
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
most people in my immediate and extended family had an arranged marriage and almost ALL of them have been living a extremely happy marriage.
we can't blame the arranged marriages for marriage failures because if that's the case then the divorce rate in the west would have been a lot less as they date and try to find compatibility between each other before committing themselves.
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
Have you not seen good examples around you like your own parents, cousins, friends and so on?
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
Too many :)
Love marriage does not guarantee you 100 percent happiness either. There are struggles and ups and downs in the relationship that is known as marriage, no matter if it's arranged or love.
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
most people in my immediate and extended family had an arranged marriage and almost ALL of them have been living a extremely happy marriage.
we can't blame the arranged marriages for marriage failures because if that's the case then the divorce rate in the west would have been a lot less as they date and try to find compatibility between each other before committing themselves.
To be fair the divorce rate in some Arab countries matches if not surpasses the divorce rate in many western countries (and the stigma of divorce is prob a big reason it's not so common in desi communities)
OP, how well a marriage works can depend on a lot of things but you should be looking for compatibility most of all..
If it's arranged but you're getting to meet + talk to the guy you shouldn't have much to worry about..
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
yeah your right, my own parents and a lot of my aunts and uncles are really happy and they had arranged marriages. I don't know why though, i just feel soo scared about it all :(
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
If you dont mind me asking, were your families arranged marriages from the same country or from pakistan?
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
If you dont mind me asking, were your families arranged marriages from the same country or from pakistan?
we are originally from India.
arranged marriages too place around the world and both within and outside of our own families.
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
To be fair the divorce rate in some Arab countries matches if not surpasses the divorce rate in many western countries (and the stigma of divorce is prob a big reason it's not so common in desi communities)...
i was talking mostly with reference to the subcontinent.
not just the stigma, our people try to work harder to keep the family together and succeed.
i know a guy who married a mentally challenged woman and he managed to not only keep the marriage intact but also raised a few children who did very well in studies and got great jobs...now, their children take care of their parents.
amazing guy and amazing family!
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
All arranged marriages as far as l can see in my family!
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
I have seen a lot of successful arranged marriages. I had an arranged marriage and many of my friends/girls in the community have had successful arranged marriages. Always remember that no one is perfect and no marriage is perfect. First year or two of marriage is rough because you are getting used to each other.
any successful arranged marriage stories?????
Okay so what is exactly an arranged marriage in YOUR definition? Because I had an arrangement, my Aunt brought the rishta from her side of the family but we had many months to talk long distance before we decided it was time to take the next steps and he came and visited my family for the first time. More than arranged, I am about taking out the time for your relationship to develop before diving into all of the family obligations after marriage. That's why I think it's crucial for newly weds to be on their own for awhile since getting to know somebody and living with them is just as hard. Marriage takes work and everyone has bad times but you will know if it feels right. So it was kind of arranged for me but my family doesn't do marriages without the kids taking some time to get to know each other. Because we lived in two different countries there was no pressure on anyone so we took our time to decide. As long as you have a good idea about him AND his family and their expectations from you, try not to worry and leave it to god. Listen to heart, if you have a bad feeling about something be vocal about it and don't turn a blind eye.
So in my experience and from those around me yes they do work but you need to know the family before. Only in one case I know things are tough because the girl is Pakistani a nf the guys family is Indian muslim, she grew up in the west, him in the middle sat and so the mentalities are diuficuky to work with. His family was extremely conservative and didn't really give her a lot of freedom to do things her way (career, travel) but still her husband supporter her because they didn't want to break the marriage. It took a few years to settle in but they are in a better place but his family hasn't changed much, they just live on their own. Every case is different but I can't stress the importance of knowing you can blend in a family as much as getting along with the spouse.
Re: any successful arranged marriage stories?????
In my family and relatives they're all arranged and living happily.