Re: Anti-social/introvert
Hey Tissues 
I’m a wallflower, too. I can count my closest friends on just one hand. I prefer having fewer but richer friendships as opposed to numerous superficial ones. Sometimes I think that the less people you invite in your life, the less drama you have to deal with. I wouldn’t equate this with being antisocial though because I am still able to have appropriate social interactions with people in different settings. And I’m sure that you’re capable of that, too. But if that’s how someone sees me, then so be it..lol.
Aunties..you can’t control how they (or anyone else for that matter) will behave. It’s better to keep a polite distance and to avoid volunteering too much information about your life. I’ve found that if someone is treating you poorly, then you’re not their only target. They’re most likely treating others in the same way ..even if you don’t witness it. It’s only a matter of time before someone calls them out on their behavior…or…their actions eventually catch up to them and result in people cutting them out. I have seen this happen. Habits come with consequences…sooner or later.
Regarding condolences… if you’re concerned about not “reminding” the person of the tragedy…then maybe it’s better to avoid asking “kya hua tha unhe?” Chances are that you will end up finding out what happened…because people talk. So, that’s one change that you can make. The cliche “Bahut ofsos hua”…is like the English equivalent of …“I’m am so sorry for your loss.” You’re going to run into cliche responses no matter what language you use. You really cannot get too “creative” with wording in these situations. Giving the grieving person a dua is a cliche act…but it’s a necessary one. I think the best thing to do is to show your support through your actions. Your actions can make up for the insufficiency of your words. For example, bringing food for the grieving family…and helping them clean up during an ofsos gathering …attending Quran recitations…and not overstaying your welcome when you go for ofsos…etc etc. And I’m sure that you already do these things.
As for giving gifts…again …“Is ki kya zaroorat thi?” is like the English equivalent of …“Oh, you shouldn’t have.” Again, you’re gonna run into cliche saying regardless of language. And if the host truly and genuinely did not expect the guests to bring a gift…then that would be a natural response. If you don’t feel comfortable with that…then just simply tell them, “Thank you. I really appreciate it. That’s very kind of you. Or you are so sweet/thoughtful.”
Again it’s hard to escape the ratay-rataye jumlay and you will end up leaning on those cliche words even in the most closest relationships. It’s your actions that lend words greater meaning.
I think you’re being too hard on yourself. There are many introverts like you out there and the feelings you have are pretty natural. There’s nothing wrong in being selective of your friends; some amount of discrimination is healthy. But at the same time, there is some level of “conformity” that we do need to surrender to in order still be a part of society and to maintain rishtay. Unless we become absolute hermits, we can’t escape it completely.