As we all know that Polygamy is allowed in Islam and it is part of Muslim society. Polygamy has been practiced by past generations. We all know why it is allowed in Islam and what are the guidelines, but what I have noticed is that we are living in a society that strictly and harshly opposes and disallows Polygamy. Anyone with a thought of it is looked down upon.
I am talking about Pakistani society in general.
Is it healthy for our culture? Should be change our tone or become more tolerant of Polygamy?
Polygyny is permitted in Islam (with certain conditions). The difficulty with polygyny is treating every wife exactly the same - and that's why it isn't very common. There's not many men out there who can afford to keep more than one women happy in the shoes and bags department, so it's best that the majority of men stick to one wife :D
It exists but I don't think it is feasible in current times. Also, no one can treat two people the same now matter how hard they try, therefore can not do justice to 2,3 or 4 wives.
now a days its hard to afford 1 and keep balance with her is difficult and you are thinking about multiple .. :| .. .. the foremost condition for polygamy is that you have to keep the balance among 'em and i don't think that now a days you would be able to keep balance. so forget about it.
i know a lady who is bardashing..well doing more than htat even i snice ot her souten..she even got her daughter marreid..!..n shes s happy n doenst semet to care n shes a modern working women living in pkstn
Nothing wrong with it in theory and it can work well if all parties involved are happy with the situation but being honest this seems like hardly ever. I have heard of a few women in Arab countries tho who actually helped their husbands look for a second wife and then vetted them lol.
Unfortunately tho it seems most men who practise it lie to and/or mistreat their wives and/or kids (not spending equal amounts of time with them, favouring one more than the other or playing them off against each other) so no wonder it has gotten such a bad reputation. My dad was telling me that he knew of a young married guy 'back home' who had gotten a girl pregnant and so took her as a second wife to try and rectify the situation (which obviously didn't go down well with wife no.1).. Have to admit I do find it a bit strange that we love to point fingers at the west and criticise single mothers when under polygyny a mum would prob also be left to look after herself and her kids at least 50% of the time. We love to go on about how children need two parents to raise them and nurture them so what happens in these situations when dad isn't around for so much of the time??
Apart from the time having to be shared equally not many men can afford to run multiple households where each wife and their kids have the same standard of living. A lot of guys like to make out if they get 'bored' with their wives they can just go out and get another one, the conditions that have to be met are rarely even explained to them..
I agree that the main reason it is permitted is if a man can and will treat all of his wives the same, but that is a subjective term. It all depends on the wives, if they are happy than does not matter how much he is providing to them and how they are living.
On the matter of having multiple wives in current times, if the situation with respect to financial and security is a concern than was it better when it was practiced? Those days situation were even worse. Should Polygamy be dependent on the situation at the ground?
The topic is not about me having multiple wives.
I have noticed and it is common that people in Pakistan do not appreciate men having or having a thought of multiple wives. If it is allowed and has been practiced without any major concerns in the society than why do we so overwhelmingly object to it?
I have noticed and it is common that people in Pakistan do not appreciate men having or having a thought of multiple wives. If it is allowed and has been practiced without any major concerns in the society than why do we so overwhelmingly object to it?
not appreciated: reasons for polygamy nowadays are very different, which is y.
One of the reasons in the past: in times of war and bad conditions, the population was not equally divided in men and women and in those times women could not be left alone on their own. Nowadays this does not apply!
But Man With A Plan there are major concerns.. the divorce rates in parts of Saudi Arabia are 60%, partly because there are idiots out there who use polygyny like some sort of rotation system where no.4 gets replaced every few years. Apart from the effect on the wives what about the kids??
There was a documentary a whole ago about a guy in the UAE who had 80+ kids by multiple wives but couldn’t even remember his childrens names, I mean seriously is that something to be proud of??
Edit Just found his name:
'A MAN called “DAAD”’ is believed to have fathered the biggest family in the world with more than 80 kids. Daad Mohammed has had 84 children with 17 different wives. And incredibly the 60-year-old Muslim father from the United Emirates said he still wants more children. The pensioner claims he romps with his wives everyday. And boasts that he has sex TWICE in morning and SEVEN times in the evening.
He said: “I don’t remember all the names of the kids actually but whenever I see the kid I do my best to remember the name.” Ruthless Daad even divorces his wives when they are no longer fertile. He said: “I like having babies so I’m getting married as the Prophet Mohammed says.’
not appreciated: reasons for polygamy nowadays are very different, which is y.
One of the reasons in the past: in times of war and bad conditions, the population was not equally divided in men and women and in those times women could not be left alone on their own. Nowadays this does not apply!
War, bad condition and cannot leave women alone. One of the few reasons but not the main. Let me put an example in front of you. For example, if there is couple who are having trouble having kids. Should the wife, family and society give the husband to marry the second time, knowing that he can have kids?
I know that there are individuals who abuse this practice. They are many practices that are abused and misinterpreted. There has to be proper channel of knowledge of society in general about this issues, but again I will ask why is it a big no no?
Not being able to have a kid (or having the wrong gender) is often due to the man tho, isn't it? Yet a woman would get called all sorts of names if she wanted to divorce her husband on that basis (even tho it's allowed in Islam).. Also, in most Muslim countries there are actually more men than women..
Whether it today's world or in the past, polygyny should only be allowed in times of war because that is when the male to female ratio gets skewed.
Not being able to have kids is not a good enough reason for polygyny because a woman could be childless because of her husband as well. Should we then allow polyandry?
Of course, in my case, my views in these issues are removed from Islam.
Because women don't want to share thier husbands. Is that simple enough?
Make all sorts of assumptions about the nature of women or a woman's character, but most women don't want any other woman near her man, whether she's flirting/sleeping with, or marrying him.
That was an example to see if in that certain situation when would our society permits Polygamy?
Let me put it this way, when do everyone thinks that Polygamy should be allowed in today's world? What could be the reason or reasons?
as for ur example: remain childless, adoption or get divorced before remarry-ing. I know the family will want him to re-marry or give permission for this, but he needs it from his wife. Some women are strong enough to handle this (stronger than men, men could never share a wife). so mayb then its a possibility for the people, who dont have a problem with it.
I dont think there is any reason for polygamy.. women can also be treated and taken care off as 'sisters' in bad times, men dont need to marry them imo...
I don't understand why some people choose to ignore the mongomous, most beautiful relationship our Prophet S had with Hazrat Khadijah R.
The reason that polygomy is gone in today's society is because most women today are not willing to marry into that kind of relationship and don't feel the need to, they are able to support themselves, and hve enough protection from their fathers and brothers.And because they're are many good men (allhumdullilah) who are able to respect that wish of their wife and are not worried about the quanitity of the children they produce, but the quality of the children.
War, bad condition and cannot leave women alone. One of the few reasons but not the main. Let me put an example in front of you. For example, if there is couple who are having trouble having kids. Should the wife, family and society give the husband to marry the second time, knowing that he can have kids?
The thing is, it's difficult to treat all the wives equally. Even Islamically, if I'm not mistaken, the Prophet (saw) had a difficult time because of jealousy among the wives and that was when Allah (swt) sent the ayah that marry up to 4 women, but only if you can be just with all, otherwise keep one wife.
The second wife will have children... she'll be the fertile one, getting more attention from others and maybe even from the husband. It's easy for the first wife to be pushed aside. And if the wife cannot have children, I think it's better to adopt and get sawab.
Because women don't want to share thier husbands. Is that simple enough?
Make all sorts of assumptions about the nature of women or a woman's character, but most women don't want any other woman near her man, whether she's flirting/sleeping with, or marrying him.
Sara nailed the reason why polygamy is difficult to accept. I don't think it's really because women are becoming more financially independent or there are fathers and brothers to protect her. A financially secure woman and a poor woman can both be possessive of their husband. It's human nature... no one wants to share their spouse. A husband wouldn't want to share his wife and vice versa.
Sara nailed the reason why polygamy is difficult to accept. I don't think it's really because women are becoming more financially independent or there are fathers and brothers to protect her. A financially secure woman and a poor woman can both be possessive of their husband. It's human nature... no one wants to share their spouse. A husband wouldn't want to share his wife and vice versa.
Yeah, I agree actually.Polygamy is a situation that can bring out feelings and behaviors in a wife that she never thought she had. Jealousy, anger, pain and hurt are emotions that block reason, promote insecurity, and open the door to Shaitan. This is all part of the trial of polygamy. The Prophet’s (saw) wives experienced jealousy between themselves. There’s even a hadith where Ali R was contemplating marriage to Abu Jahl’s daughter while he was still married to Fatimah R, The Prophet’s (saw) daughter. The Prophet said that Fatimah R and Abu Jahl’s daughter could not be married to Ali R at the same time. He stated that what hurts Fatimah R hurts him and he didn’t want her trialed in her religion. (Bukhari.) Scholars differ as to the understanding of this hadith but that one of the understandings was that The Prophet (saw) did not want Fatimah R to be trialed in her religion with jealousy from polygamy.
Bottomline it is human nature. And most woman (including me) would rather not be wife 1, 2, 3, or 4, but the ONLY wife.
But then the question arises what makes a woman (the few who are willing to go through it today) go into polygamous relationships in normal times?...perhaps it is money- we see women marring rich shaikhs, kings of polygamous relationships all the time. The wives of the shaikh of Dubai are one example, that wives, ex wives of the guy with 84 children is another. Perhaps it's security. Or perhaps a lack of other options. Or perhaps they managed to find a man truly worth that kind of trial.