Answering Machine Methods........

PakRemix · April 20, 2001, 3:13am

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TRY EM’..!!

My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name
and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.

A is for academics, B is for beer. One of these reasons is why we’re not here.
So leave a message.

Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If
you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial institution, you
didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you
are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.

Hi. Now you say something.

Hi, I’m not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it
instead. Wait for the beep.

Hello. I am David’s answering machine. What are you?

(From a Japanese man)
He-ro! This is Sato. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave sexy
message, I call sooner!

Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak
very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello. this is Sally’s microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her
tape deck, so I’m stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked
while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners
do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They
give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If
you’re still with me, leave you name and number and they will get back to you.

This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device.
After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where
I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message,
and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right
now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s
safe to leave us a message.

You’re growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now.
You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions.
When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name,
number, and a message.

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything
you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

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hayaa · April 20, 2001, 3:36am

We all go thru mood swings. But some time ago, eveyone (!) started to get on my nerves so I decided I was going to be completely anti-social for a while. So there was no answering my door despite it getting banged down and I refused to pick up my phone. my answering machine went something like “i don’t wanna talk to you right now… so leave a msg”

Khair, a couple of days later, i was forced out of my anti-social mood by ammi’s daant. needless to say, i had a few upset friends who thought the msg was specifically for them..

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hoonh.gif

so much for freedom of expression..

I’m gonna try these…starting with this one!!