another WHY?

Society Religion & Philosophy
1

Why our hate for people/things disappears with time as if it never existed? hate in a very strong sense

2

Re: another WHY?

Because what we think is Hate is not Hate .. plus we hate things as long as the reasons to hate them is there. After that we tend to let go

The Hi/Bye Thread
3

Re: another WHY?

because hate is with the pain/intensity of we being hurt.When that cures,the hate gets less
but in certain cases it never goes:hmmm:

4

ummmm I know I forgive people very easily, so that's why hate "disappears".

but one of my friend - still "hates" me :( - and there is no way we can be friends again

5

Re: another WHY?

They say that "time heals all wounds". And in urdu it is said that, "Waqt k saath zakhm bhar jaatay hain."

You might be mad at people and even hate them.....but eventually you get sooooo busy with life's chores. You get busy with education, job, then marriage, then becoming a parent, raising your kids in the best way possible. You get so busy with life that sometimes you forget about the old issues that were bothering you.

Also, with age some people grow wiser. And with age they realize that they're not perfect either, and they find that they don't have the energy to worry about past issues,
**
BUT.**.......there are people who have a hard time letting go of their hatred and grudges. And maybe it is because their pain is too great. Or maybe it's because the same people keep hurting them over and over and over again and it's hard for them avoid such people. Everyone is different.

Some wounds time can heal well and you can forget about them. And other wounds are never healed by time......and the best thing to do is learn a lesson from them and make yourself stronger.

6

Re: another WHY?

There is also another saying.....that "the more you love someone, the more you will hate them if he/she hurts you"

If a stranger says something mean to us.....we forget it and ignore it after a few minutes or hours.

BUT if someone we really love such as a best friend, sibling, parent.........says/does something offensive...........it HURTS US MORE.........and our ANGER is greater.

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Re: another WHY?

^ so true!

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Re: another WHY?

i agree with all of you.......

9

Re: another WHY?

It was a nice question to come up with, y dont u explain ur reasoning behind it.

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but let say the reasons are still there but the hatred some what fade away ....... ??

DEDICATED ~*~ TO E10 ~*~
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reasoning behind hate or reasoning behind hate disappearing???

Guess next poster
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Re: another WHY?

reasoning behind y u asked this question..... and if thats coz u hated someone and now u feel like u dont hate (him/her/them) no more, then y do u think the hate disappeared.

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Re: another WHY?

well Aqeel … i think u missed my this thread http://www.paklinks.com/gs/philosophy-spirituality/317396-why.html

and this thread is part II of the above thread…

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Perhaps its because in time you find something else you hate even more...

~~~Missing Someone~~~
15

how abt i say NO to this one....

now wat r ur reasoning?

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I try to use this policy whenever I find myself dwelling too much on a hate. lol. It really works. You just have to cool yourself. Sometimes my mind is trying so hard to correct the past or to figure out the truth of the matter but you just have to let go because you may never know the truth or it may come to you in bits or you may just learn to forgive after all as you gain more confidence and understand the weakness of the other.
There may be shame involved if you feel cheated or used but with time you get to make peace with your self, assuring yourself that you have grown, learned something out of the experience and forgive your own naivete of the past.
Also, if you realize that some person is just a compulsive liar or is faulty in some such way, with time you learn to raise yourself above and realize that you shouldn't be affected by the weaknesses of others.

17

probably because you dont care about that person/ thing anymore. forexample lets say you are best friend with someone in high school and he slaps you, you will start hating on him, but then you move on and go to college and find new friends so you kinda forget about your other friend or even if you meet the other friend you dont care too much about him because now you have new friends at college … So yah I know its a bad and childish example but you get the idea you just move on and dont care about it thats why you dont hate it anymore … am I making sense :bummer:

18

How about I explain further...then you can reject it.

Your priorities and expectations change as life progresses and exposure to many experiences and hardships or good time accumulate and so does your maturity.

so at one point I may have hated to death a person who, say makes my life miserable at work. Over time, I see other things that are more "worthy" of my hate...so to speak...perhaps someone near to me has cheated me or let me down or senseless loss of lives. So what used to consume my life at one point is now a non-entity.

Also in time, you do tend to dull your passions/emotions about particular people or incidents. This may happen either in love or hate.

19

I agree with most of the posts.

Understanding the source of your hatred can be very helpful. I personally had a lot of hate for people who had done something hurtful or something very awful to me. When the wounds in my heart healed, I forgot and/or forgave a lot. But certain things were difficult. I even hated things, people, colours, certain habits of someone, that reminded me of the family members who had really done something awful to me. I couldn't get rid of that hatred and the memory of those awful family members even caused me to become depressed quite often.

I then realised that there was only one solution to heal myself. Confront the pain, confront the issues, even tried to understand the awful family members. The main problem was, I had never really talked about the terrible things my family had done to me. Everything was inside me and I often tried not to think about it. So, I started to talk about it and stopped running away from the pain. It really did help me. I even gained understanding of their negatives motives.

Now most of the hatred is gone. I only hate the very few family members who were the root cause of what was done to me and who continue to deny the terrible things they did. I don't have a problem with anyone else anymore nor anything else. I can even talk about what happened calmly now. Guess I'm healed. Even the bit of hatred I still feel for the root of my problems, has become less. :)

Yet, certain things are so awful, they can't be forgiven, even when the hatred becomes less though.

20

Re: another WHY?

u guys have a very deep understanding of the issue.....

and everyone explained it so well............. Thanks guys :)