Re: Another in-laws thread
While you see them as jaahil, who knows, they might view you as being condescending or proud. Try to create an understanding.
Maybe you should try giving subtle messages... for example... if you hear them making weird blowing noises in the bathroom, ask them if everything is ok, because you're concerned after hearing loud noise. This will make them ask themselves- "hmm, was the noise really that loud?" in addition to, "wah, she's actually concerned."
Or... if they walk on the carpet with their shoes on, say, "Oh, you don't have to wear shoes, the carpet isn't dirty. Feel easy and walk barefoot, we do it."
When you are expected to make 3 rotis per person... take one of the female extended family members and be like, "do you want to help me in the kitchen? I could use the company, then I'll finish faster and also be able to spend more time at the table with you all."
It sounds cheesy, but they are subtle yet caring messages. It's best to give those, then stay completely quiet and eventually run out of patience, leading to a big fight. Ask your husband to encourage the relatives to help you in the kitchen... otherwise, tell him you can't cook so much and will have to spend money on outside food.
Think about it this way... you have to adjust and tolerate them, but they have to do the same for you if you stay at their home in the pind. If you go to their home and don't wear shoes, they might tell you to wear shoes. They might find it weird that you don't eat as much and arrange for food that you like. You don't want them to think that you're looking down on them, internally they probably feel low class compared to you anyways.
Btw, the pind isn't that bad, it's got culture.