Re: another guys perspective on married life and managing family stuff
I think it depends on the wife, and mine is very mature when it comes to this stuff. saw same stuff as me, and agreed, that its not just ppl with axes to grind who cause issues but well wishing people whose interfeence complicates things, plus one person knows u had a fight on something, they tell 2 others they tell 4 others and before you know it the entire tribe/clan/ is involved or talking about it.
we avoided it and that helped us a lot.
sheyn- when ppl realize that their life first and foremost is now with the spouse they will get it and do it right
s far as item 2, i forgot to note that it applied to begum also, i..e she has issues with my mum, dad, sis anyone...to let me know and I will manage it. but engaging them directly especially early on may impact my ability to manage stuff. these initial days, weeks, months are very critical and set the tone... first impressions are not last impressions and are lasting impressions. I was willing to trade closeness for development of better understanding, and it worked.
The end result is that when either my mum or dad think I am not being nice to her, I get called in their room and given a dressing down. yes they are that close now.