Re: another guys perspective on married life and managing family stuff
for rule #2 its not that u give them something to talk about but if they have an issue or advise..
e.g. my mum did not like short sleeve dresses, but per our agreement she did not go to begum to tell her, she mentioned it to me that its not kosher culturally and she is just telling me as an elder and she does not want to interfere but is giving advise just like she gives to my sis. Now I am sure had she said that to begum, well intentioned as she was in her view, begums may be thinking why are you lecturing me or cant I make my own decisions...simple stuff but how ppl react to it can make it bigger, and if based on the conversation there were expectatiosn from my mum that my wife will stop wearing short sleeves and not seeing that happen would make her feel disrespected, or my wife would be upset that she is being forced to do soemthing..
now i dont know if that would have happened, both are mature women and more than likely that is not where it would have headed, but why take a chance
so when my mum said that, I told her that look, she understands modesty and will not be dressing in some hoochie mama outfit, but some of what she wears is norm, it may be a bit modern for your tastes, but let it go and I understand your advise about modesty etc and will talk about it how I want to when i want to etc if and when i feel it is not acceptable but I am fine with her choices and understand and respect your views and will let her know, and let me know if this is an issue for specific groups or ppl we may be seeing who are more conservative and in those cases we will plan accordingly. that was it.
maybe I overdid it, but saw way way too many bruised egos, hurt feelings and all in initial days of marriage on small stuff.