What do you do when you are mad at someone, but you can’t show your anger or say anything to that person? You know that there’s a darn good reason this person is doing what he/she is doing, but he/she can’t tell you what it is (for example, going away for days and you don’t know where or why). You are not supposed to say anything or he/she will feel you don’t trust them or cannot support them. How in the world do you support that person if you don’t even know what you are to support?
well just ask em simply .. sometimes its not what u say, its how you say it. If you ask the person like casually then Im sure he/she wouldn't mind telling you.
dimagh hota to na,
it is a tricky situation. it relies on ur ability to say things truthfully.
the worst manner in which one can hurt someone is by not recognizing someone's feelings. anger and helplessness of ur own are only seen by u as that, but to other they may be aggression and finding as well as using scapegoats and that is debilitating in life.
helplessness is an alibi when it is clearly in your hands to take control of situations and make them better. u don't have to have a pretext for doing what you know is the right thing to do. it's correctness is self evident.
recognizing silence is fine as it talks nothing. not trusting someone after s/he has mistrusted urself, is an understandable thing to do.
practicing silence to lead the other person astray is an ever bigger blunder.
best way to get rid of another person's or one's mistrust is to face each other.
not all people can do that as they are hollow and shallow unless they prove themselves otherwise.
and not all of those who attempt to prove themselves may find what they were looking for, or even hoping to gain, since as more time goes on, one will feel more embarrassed and low in one self.
hope this helps.
best way: neither become helpless nor be angry. be true to your own self with out being miserable or selfish. that will gain inner peace and a sense of not having hurt anyone - a feeling that is priceless and no one can steal it, not even the person who hurt you terribly.
u have to indicate and the other person ideally must understand why u meant something that they did not value.
best,
dushwari
well just ask em simply .. sometimes its not what u say, its how you say it. If you ask the person like casually then Im sure he/she wouldn't mind telling you.
Can't just ask..
I can't contact the person and that person has already told me not to ask any questions. I didn't show any anger towards him at all.
dimagh hota to na,
it is a tricky situation. it relies on ur ability to say things truthfully.
the worst manner in which one can hurt someone is by not recognizing someone's feelings. anger and helplessness of ur own are only seen by u as that, but to other they may be aggression and finding as well as using scapegoats and that is debilitating in life.
helplessness is an alibi when it is clearly in your hands to take control of situations and make them better. u don't have to have a pretext for doing what you know is the right thing to do. it's correctness is self evident.
recognizing silence is fine as it talks nothing. not trusting someone after s/he has mistrusted urself, is an understandable thing to do.
practicing silence to lead the other person astray is an ever bigger blunder.
best way to get rid of another person's or one's mistrust is to face each other.
not all people can do that as they are hollow and shallow unless they prove themselves otherwise.
and not all of those who attempt to prove themselves may find what they were looking for, or even hoping to gain, since as more time goes on, one will feel more embarrassed and low in one self.
hope this helps.
best way: neither become helpless nor be angry. be true to your own self with out being miserable or selfish. that will gain inner peace and a sense of not having hurt anyone - a feeling that is priceless and no one can steal it, not even the person who hurt you terribly.
u have to indicate and the other person ideally must understand why u meant something that they did not value.
best,
dushwari
Dushwari... you stay true to your name! It's a dushwari to read this when I am really pissed off -let alone understanding it, lol. I do like what you said but what if you can't even communicate with that person? Then what? It's not even about the way you say it, I am way past that stage in my relationship with that person where what you say and how you say it matters.
thanks, for appreciation of the complexity of my talk. fair enough. :)
hmm, now i see, i hope, where u are coming from - if the other individual is not capable to come half way, let alone repair all the damage that they cause due to no-communication, then it is likely to be not u who is to blame as long as u have a clear conscience.
what u can do is that confirm within urself, is anger really what will get u where u want to be, in getting even with the person who you are unable to communicate with ( is s/he not willing to communicate or u are not wanting to give it a try - this is a major hurdle and a bad ineffective ego situation in both people's cases.)
u can let that person do what s/he wants to and not come in their way. let them figure out where they are obviously incorrect, self-deceiving and inefficient in owning their mistake in not doing their part in repairing a relationship. things do come full circle as is affirmed in our faith. u just need to have ur intentional mind, very clear.
It depends on how you want to handle the situation.
You can either retaliate by doing the same thing. Therefore losing touch for a week and not saying what you are doing, so that the point gets across. (I dont recommend this one.)
Or, you can talk things out with him. Tell him that it really upsets you that you cant be in touch with him or that he cant tell you where he is going. If he says that you arent being understanding, just tell him that you are being understanding in that you arent asking him to change, but just communicating your feelings, which you are allowed to feel.
See what he says to that.
The other thing is just to keep yourself busy in this time and not say a word.
What do you do when you are mad at someone, but you can't show your anger or say anything to that person? You know that there's a darn good reason this person is doing what he/she is doing, but he/she can't tell you what it is (for example, going away for days and you don't know where or why). You are not supposed to say anything or he/she will feel you don't trust them or cannot support them. How in the world do you support that person if you don't even know what you are to support?
How do you manage anger and helplessness?
I dont know if I should quote an Ethopian proverb here or not...waise btw it seems like mind games are being played
What do you do when you are mad at someone, but you can't show your anger or say anything to that person? You know that there's a darn good reason this person is doing what he/she is doing, but he/she can't tell you what it is (for example, going away for days and you don't know where or why). You are not supposed to say anything or he/she will feel you don't trust them or cannot support them. How in the world do you support that person if you don't even know what you are to support?
How do you manage anger and helplessness?
You don't have to push yourself in believing something you don't trust. It is human nature to suspect, nothing sinister. Seems like you want to be true with yourself and that person than be true and do not support them if you do not want to.
