One thing I don’t get, maybe i’m wrong, but how people can say the most disgusting, lowest things and dismiss it by “oh I was angry.”
I have heard people say the most disgusting, and hurtful things “in anger”, parents telling their kids “i wish you were never born,” old b*tches telling their deceased brothers’ daughters to go where he is (“tussi jao jithay teray pyoo haiga”), husbands telling their wives"ghalti se baccha paida kiya"
Your husband says that, and how can you get into bed with him that night?
I’m a very emotional person, but watever I say, I know I truly mean it, and I would never say smoething so horrible.. I know in anger i have thought the worst things, but I could never imagine writing it even in a diary.. To me there is no excuse for some language. I believe, even in anger, there is a degree of controlling your tongue.
Sara, I am the same way as you are, i only say things when i truly mean them. But if everyone could do this, wouldnt we live in a perfect world? And who knows, perhaps these people mean what they are saying even though its out of anger? To me their is no excuse to mean language.
I almost wanted to say that perhaps parhay likhy ppl dont do this but i can remember a few people who were working on thier higher degrees and still said mean and hurtful things knowing full well they were being hurtful. So, basically, i dont know how ppl can do this so easily, not once or twice but all the time.
All I know is that I have cruel thoughts too when I am angry, but I would never voice them or put them down in writing. I cannot bear the thought of hurting someone else by saying something and then taking it back a few minutes/hours later. I don't know ... sometimes I think that saying you said something in anger is just an excuse. First time I can understand ... if it happens repeatedly, wouldn't the person see they are hurting you? If they know what they say will hurt you, why are they saying it? :(
Its sorta related to my other thread, how people say such stupid things and dont care if the other gets hurt and in fact blames them for being too sensitive..
But teh way some people speak.. telling a 10 yr old shes an embarrassment to her family, that shes a loser, and do it their entire life, it can really chip away at ones self esteem and self respect..
Wen i’m angry, I run.. I avoid saying anything because I know I will say lots of hurtful things if i’m given the chance n opportunity.. :hinna:
Sara! i know i have a horrible temper - so what i do is either get away from that person or tell them we will talk about this later. I know i will forget what i am saying when i am angry. So its better to keep my mouth shut and come back with some nice statements later on.
I hate that emtional black mailing of men. And you know sarah i know women who live with their husband even after hearing BS from their husbands.
Same goes for men- i know few men who sat there and took crap from their wives. Its pathetic
the one you love you should not hurt them how hard is that for people to understand
how do you suppose to cope with something when a guy goes " mein tumhee talak deta ho" yah- “kehti ho to tum ko ghar bheej deta ho hameesha”. how do you expect your wife to sleep with you same night.
Once they come back to their senses the stupid sorry session begins…
husbands telling their wives"ghalti se baccha paida kiya"
Your husband says that, and how can you get into bed with him that night? .
um the problem might be getting in bed even after he said all those nasty things. you need to make it clear from your actions or verbally that u didnt like what he/she said...not run away.
Stupid question but is it wrong or naive in thinking married couples who truly love each other never "hate" each other or dislike each other or truly regret marriage ?
I often do same…but sometimes you’ll realise some people NEED mean language to realise somthings:bummer:
i mean i was working on some group asssignement and my male partners thought as i’m the smartest it would be normal for me to do most of the assignement alone:grumpy:!!!while those lazy bums would keep on lazying!!!
i was really mean to them:D explaining i did not need this mark as i have already far better marks than them:halo:…and that i would not work over time to satisfy their lazyness:D…lol…they began working afterwards:clown:…they did quite well…:halo:
Sara, arguments and temporary regrets should be part of a normal relationship, i would think. I have seen my parents have arguments but at the end of the day they still love and care for each other. Pata nahi, its easy to say stuff but when you are actually in a relationship, its different to go through it. All i can say is , Sara, dont let anyone ever step over you and get away with it.
no it’s not wrong:blush:…my dad and my step mom love each other just like a newly wed couple:blush:
but the have married for 14 years!!! and they both are over 50:wink:
true love never dies and never gets corrupted by anger:blush:
true love is rare but really precious…that’s what my dad and step mom taught me from their experience…and i’m very happy cause i’ve been looking for it for long time…and inshallah i have found it
sara u always out there with som special topics ....this topic is interesting ...specially the way u hav started this thread ......
This is another sensitive sort of topic ...thanx god that i didnt got a chance to listen such sort of things in my hom ......somtimes kids are in sensitive moods parents must need to think what they are talking ....and how these things effect the mind of kids ....definately they feeel bad .................
specially gals are more senstive then boys
Stupid question but is it wrong or naive in thinking married couples who truly love each other never "hate" each other or dislike each other or truly regret marriage ?
Sara: Just over this last year since I joined this forum, I have seen you transform from an immature kiddo to a sensible, smart woman. All the best for you.
As far as your question is concerened, as I have said before there are more important things in a marriage than just love and hate. To me respect is the most important thing in a marriage. You can actually answer your question yourself. Did your mother or your father ever told you a nasty truth about yourself and you hated them at that moment? Do you still hate them?
Sara, saying things to kids is absolutely horrible.
But if your partner says that to you.... step up! That's the time for you to put your foot down and say, I do not appreciate this tone and I would prefer that we do not communicate any further unless you are willing to address respectfully. I don't disrespect you and I do not expect that from you either. Walk away. You don't have to be there and listen to that crap. That simply gives the other person a chance to let their mean anger out on you and they develop this habit of insulting you whenever they want! You can suggest them to drink some water. They say in anger, drink some water, if u r standing, sit down, if u r sitting, go lay down.
Lol its not my partner, but one partner to another (not me).. its just comments in general (well cant' tell the specific incidents here) .. i mean lets say, this stuff came from a family member, you can't exactly cut them off.. phir kya karogaye?
I absolutely agree. There is a limit to everything. If someone cannot control their anger, why should anyone else suffer. Tell them to go f^&K themselves.
Well the “nasty truth” i think ur referring to, its somethign i was told all the time, so it wasnt’ a huge shock.. but i never hated them.. anger, yes, but even at the height of my anger, I never humiliated them in front of everyone ..
it seems like i get better with time 