First of All … RAMADAN Mubarak to all… may Allah (swt) allow all of us to spend this month in the best way doing the best deeds and sincere ibadah. May Allah (Swt) accept alll of our good deeds and forgive us for our bad deeds. Ameen
OKayy… So lately I’ve been noticing a lot of changes in my personality… I for some reason have been getting angry faster, veryy emotional very fast… almost as if I’ve been holding tears back for years… and I jsut can’t control my mouth… BUTtt the strange thing is… alll of these things I only do in front of or to the ppl I know care about me the most… like my mother, my siblings, my best friend… and I jsut don’t think its fair..
they are not the cause of my “depression” and i sometimes know who or what it is (e.g. school, work) but still i take it out on the only ppl that are reallly there for me…
Does any one else deal with this?? Is there a way to control or fix this problem? the last ppl i want to hurt are my closest family and friends
and also i feel like a two faced person… like i’m nice on the outside to other ppl but to the closer ppl.. i take my anger out and am not so nice???
tkhan,
i am not sure what could be the root cause/s of your angry behavior, since i am not aware of your whole life history or simply current stressors.
as far as taking anger out on the closest blood relations, whatever your age is - teen age, young adult in early or late 20s, you need to make sure that you rationalize your thoughts and not unfairly accord your anger to the wrong person/s.
we call it cognitive behavior therapy in which thoughts are addressed in order to bring behavioral chg.
& have quiet self reflection time to make sense of your own beh as to why you displaced anger onto someone who did not deserve it.
don't carry negative mood around from one event to the new ones.
anger is worse than state of intoxication, so avoid it
when you feel angered, isolate yourself - splash your face with cold water, go in your room, and rest yourself
when you are cooled down, then speak to whoever you would want to hear you, in order to help you feel more calm
face it in your beh and then gradually but resiliently check it in your self before it emits its effects on other people (your family members)
anger mgmt might help in individual therapy
but with a little care and self understanding, you can take care of this on your own if you are consistent.
breathing therapy will help you as well
when ever you feel angry, go out and breath fresh air in for 10 min in 10-sec long inhale and exhale seq
do yoga stretch at a regular time daily
try to become a good listener rather than getinto arguments.
share your triumphs with your loveds ones more often
celebrate simple joys in life even fresh cold ice water
in the morning freshen up and go for a brisk walk or jog
drink lots of water
& pray to Allah swt
you will be fine :)
best,
Dushwari
I think such behaviour might develope with too much over-protective parents. Anyway! The positive thing is that you realise this. Realizing your own personality faults indicates that you have a higher self; higher than your own personality. This higher self is like an outsider that judges you. Make that higher self stronger and make him help you improve your personality. Give him power to stop you whenever he sees you go wrong.
Realisation of your own mistake is the first step to correction.
what are u mad about it would help to have a bit more history. but yeah people usually take stuff out ont he ppl they are closest to because those ppl will take it and u know it. if u did it to someone who wasnt so close to you,,,,,first of all u wouldnt have the guts and second, they tell u to go screw cuz why should they? i think u need to reevaluate before u blow up at ppl its not a good habit. if u are depressed or mad that is normal and fine but find another way of releasing maybe talking to someone abiout ur problems and figuring out a solution...cuz even thsee ppl will only be able to take so much from u then they will get fed up and u wont have anyone around.