Anger Management

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Do you have any ideas or suggestions on anger management? I have a friend, who is sweet and caring person, very humanitarian, but seems to lose her temper easily. She means well, but gets very defensive when something is said or done in a way that reminds her of something horrible that has happened in her past. At that time I try my best to calm her down, but nothing works. Kind words, hugs, etc. and there is only so much others will put up with before they lose their temper. The issues she gets upset over aren’t anything major for the most part, but God knows what she is thinking to herself, and how this hurts her and effects her.

How can I help her see the brighter side of things? How can I show her things aren’t that bad, and there are many people that love her, care about her, and do a lot for her? How can I calm these temper tantrums and violent episodes.

She isn’t really physically abusive or anything but once she gets upset some of the things she says cause a lot of mental trauma. It seems like she is not herself, like the devil has taken over her and is not allowing her to control anything.

All of your advice is greatly appreciated!

2

Re: Anger Management

i myself get very angry too. it's jsut i dont have control over it no matter how hard i try. 1 thinkg i've started doing is talk to myself bout the incidence where i got angry n shudnt have n tell myself not to do it n next time when sth similar happens i just laf out loud. i think tat helps.

p.s. i'm not abusive at all.

P M to be arrested
3

Re: Anger Management

hmmmm do you get anger and yell carpool?

4

well yes i have answer to ur question.

just sit down or have a glass of water.

or just go out of the room or the house where the person from which she is angry is.

i also get very angry to but this is the Islamic medication of anger.

:D

5

aur kuch?

:D

6

tell her to go to her doctor for a general check up. he can check her blood pressure etc and do a blood test.

what is her diet like? advise her to stop caffeine intake, crisps, chocolates, junk food etc. tell her to drink plenty of water and fruits and veggies.

has she ever tried to harm herself? is she depressed?

some ways to tackle anger are punching a pillow; go running or do something physically exerting; shouting to yourself in a quiet, private place; learning to relax or meditate;work with her and help her to identify solutions to the situation; tell her not to hold grudes and to forgive.

it takes time and a lot of intense effort to sort out anger management problems. if you can best if to consult doctor, and she can join a support group from their recommendation. those support groups are amazingly helpful.

hope she gets better.

7

HW, I know you must really be good at managing your anger...

... her diet is ok. Sometimes she eats healthy, sometimes she has junk. As we both work and are always busy, sometimes we just grab whatever we can. She doesnt have too much caffiene. She goes to the doctor and has regular check ups.

I think she is depressed... and I have suggested getting "help" but this idea doesnt really help the situation.

Do you think I can do something special for her or something... to make her feel loved and appreciated?

8

Re: Anger Management

The only option in her case is to seek professional help. She has some kind of trauma and only some psychologist can figure out what is going on inside her brain and what is that thing which tics her off.

9

Re: Anger Management

Mirch,

Ok maybe I can work something out and take her there, but they are most likely gonna prescribe meds to calm her down, I dont think that is gonna fly with her. She has been on meds before and shes gotten worse after she came off them.... maybeeee thats the problem. Everything is out of whack after comming off medication....

.... does anyone have any other ideas.... any anger management techniques?

Timepass-Jan 2013
10

yeah i yell when i get angry but MA it's better now. i dont nymore AH n dont want to jinks it.

11

:hmmm: As I suspected she has those kind of issues. In that case she definitely needs to be treated properly. It will get worse by time if a treatment is not provided. I am talking on the basis of some personal experiences which I have mentioned in these forums earlier on.

12

Re: Anger Management

yeah but she came off the medication for a reason.... it was supressing a lot of her feelings... good feelings.... thats the problem with anti depressants.... the calm everything down, the bad feelings along with the good. Like it was seriously interering with her everyday life....

Maybe she needs a different kind this time....

13

As I said I have friends and family member who were under the impression to be under the spell of Black Magic or Possessed by jinn .
Now they are living a happy healthy life after they received treatment. Some are off the medication some are not but still they have a normal life. She should change the psychiatrist instead of stopping the treatment.

Someone did not take my advice and did not seek medical attention , the whole family and the person are all still miserable and the person from time to time gets possessed by so called Jinn baba and the whole family suffers for days and weeks.

14

Re: Anger Management

Ok Mirch... I will do whatever I possibly can to make this happen...

Any other suggestions... Maybe I could make sure I spend time with her every weekend and keep her occupied with things.... What are some things I can do???

15

The best you can do for her is to convince her to see some other good psychiatrist.
Once she gets proper treatment , she would be back to normal and you will enjoy her company instead of she and you getting frustrated after her tantrums.

16

Re: Anger Management

Teach her to leave. When she gets angry, teach her to walk away from the situation immediately. The longer she stays, the more her blood will boil and she will want to confront the person involved.

The faster she leaves, the faster she can calm down and look at things from a different POV.

When I get mad, I like to think about my anger, why Im angry, is it justifiable, is it wrong and will I think differently if I calm down? If I know I will act differently once Im calm...I dont have an outburst as all it does is lead to aplogies and embarassment.

P M to be arrested
17

Re: Anger Management

Yeah I can make very calm ppl very furious. :snooty:

18

Re: Anger Management

i have my fair share of temper tantrums. i can get angry very very easily, but just try to calm myself down and try not to think about it.

19

Re: Anger Management

thats how chickens are

Timepass-Jan 2013
20

being angry all time and not having control over it can be due to immense depression.

yes make her feel loved and appreciated...but how long can you keep doing this? you need to help her address the route cause of her depression.

depression is a serious illness. these feelings are so severe and can last up to months or more. she may be reluctant to seek medical advice but she must. there is nothing to be ashamed of.

does she complain about pains around her body?
has she made any final arrangements?
has she lost weight or has she changed her appetite?
has she ever had a sudden lift of mood? (this is a danger sign mostly.)
what are her sleeping patterns like?
what is her speech like?
is she always sad?
does she perform well at work?
does she have a lot of friends?
has she lost someone i.e. love, someone to death? is she grieving?
does she have money worries?
has she lost a baby?

^ just some of a few questions that we ask patients who have depression or anger probs.

she needs to see her doctor. she needs a physical examination, blood and urine test. it is healthy to have these yearly check-ups as well.

tell her that depression happens to thousands of people as does anger management and this does not mean you get sent to a psychiatric hospital!

she will be helped with very mild drugs or none if she is okay, she can get therapy and self-help. she will recover.

tell her to eat a lot fish which contains omega-3 fatty acid. eg salmon, sardines and mackerel. watch the miracles of this. its fights anger and depression like you have a magic wand in your hand.

diet plays a big part in depression and anger. her body needs to produce serotonin to help boost her mood. she needs to eat bananas, beans, fish, avacados, meat to help make serotonin. eat foods with vitamin b. cut down on sugar, cheese.

she needs to start exercising i.e. swimming or running etc to help her cure her anger. exercise is a miracle cure for such problems! it will boost her self esteem because exercise increases the amount of hormones which are called endorphins in our bodies and this helps us to become happy. exercise will give her something positive to focus on. go with her to an aerobics class or something.