Anger Issues

Lifestyle Relationships
1

I’m afraid I have serious anger issues.

I have never hit anyone or anything, except for once I started hitting the wall b/c I was so extremely frustrated. But what happens is I get so angry. With my husband, I scream and cry, with anyone else I stay quiet. I try my best to keep calm and chill out, but it doens’t work.

Things fester in me until I can no longer fnction, i can’t sleep or eat.
I try to communicate my feelings/issues but it feels like no one is ever willing to listen to me.

I’m just so scared that one day I will become so angry over something, that i will snap and seriously hurt myself or worse, someone else.

I dont want to be like the girl who stabbed her bf over a Pop tart.

2

The positive thing in all this is that you are aware of your anger management issues and don't want to them to get the better of you. And that is an indication that you're a good person and want to improve yourself. Some people don't even have such an awareness.

Understand that communication is a 2-way process and it's more effective when both parties are calm. So, if you want to communicate with your husband, but feel like a volcano about to blow........then take a break and walk away from the situation. There is no time limit to communicating with your husband. There's no deadline. You are not required to talk to him right then and there when you're consumed with rage. You can always talk to him when you've calmed down. So, keeping that in mind........take a break for a while. Drink water, sit down, do wuzu and pray namaz. Keep a journal and write your feelings in there. It's proven to be therapeutic for some people. Go for a walk, go exercise, listen to some music, remove yourself from the situation for a while.

If it helps.....write down on a sheet of paper what is bothering you. And also brainstorm some possible solutions and compromises regarding the issue/conflict. And when you are done....and in a calmer mood.......proceed to discuss the matter with your husband and discuss with him the compromises/solutions you've written one-by-one.

Here are some tips for discussions. Start your discussion in a positive way. It is said that for every negative concern.....you should have 2 positive points. For example, let's say that your husband doesn't put his dishes in the sink. But he's good at cooking and laundry. You can start of the discussion with these two positive points. "You're a fabulous cook and you're great with doing the laundry and I really appreciate this because it makes my job a bit easier. But what would help me out even more with the household responsibilities is if you could remember to put the dishes in the sink. That way I have all the dishes in one place and it makes the washing easier for me." Saying it in a positive way like this will motivate him to compromise with you compared to yelling and screaming.

If somebody were to nag at you, criticize you, scream at you, all the time.......you wouldn't want to listen to such a person either. But if that same person speaks to you respectfully.......AND praises/compliments/encourages you.....you're more likely to listen. Aren't you? So, keeping that in mind.....treat others in the same way you'd want to be treated.

3

Re: Anger Issues

Try the above strategies. And I would also encourage you to reflect over WHY you get angry so quickly. It is because of control issues? Is it because of jealousy? Low self-esteem? Fear of losing control? Try to figure that out. And perhaps....if you feel that the situation has become so serious that it's affecting your social life........then consider consulting a therapist.

4

Re: Anger Issues

Have you sought any help for this problem? Many times, seeing a therapist can help you channel your anger in a healthier way...there is nothing wrong with you...you just need to be shown or trained to express yourself in a more practical manner.

Have you ever tried just keeping quiet? Like if you feel anger...just clamp up until you're calm enough to talk about it. But DO talk about it...because if you dont...thats when you end up letting things fester and explode.

5

Please never leave GS!!!

:omg:

6

ha ha…that’s funny

7

Re: Anger Issues

oreo - sweetheart you need professional help, ideally before you go postal.

8

Re: Anger Issues

Whenever you feel angry …take a deep breath, get a drink of water and sit down. Try it oneday…I assure you it will help.

It doesnt take much to make me angry but when I am angry…I get REALLY angry. I find that prayer, jogging it off, going for a long drive, kickboxing ( this almost always helps), and yoga calm me down.

try the above before seeking professional help.

As far as communicating with people, you must learn to express your feelings to concerned parties. Keeping things bottled up is what makes a person explode.

best of luck in whatever you decide..at least you acknowledge you have a problem. That’s a start to recovery :k:

9

I've lived by that creed all my life and unfortunately it has failed me in every way. not a single person i know believes and practicies that.

10

What goes around eventually comes around...if not in this life, then the next. Just because other insist on degrading themselves...does not mean that you should stoop to their level as well. My intention is not to offend you but I'm trying to understand something here. You said that you've lived by that rule all your life. Well.....if that is indeed the case.....then why lose control over your temper so quickly then? Let the other person persist in being a fool....but humble the person by communicating with them in a calm and intelligent manner. Sometimes it works.

Your thread was about how to deal with anger management. I listed some causes for anger management issues as well as strategies in my previous post. Have you read them? If you've SINCERELY tried those strategies.....and have still find no relief....then perhaps you should consider consulting a therapist.