HELP! A really good friend of mine has major anger issues!! He yells, cusses, breaks things, and shows no signs of improving. His family has given u on him, and they sometimes turn to me to calm him down.He tells me that hes stressed abt work, school, and just that he has soooo many bills and no decent income. I calm in to an extent to make it to the next day, but I really want to help him emotionally. I cant keep calming him down everyday..HOW should I talk to him to make him realize life is full of ups and downs???
And then sometimes he’ll yell at me abt it and I have sooo much patience, and he says it too that Im the only one that understands him.SO im glad that he listens, but I need to help him or else he’s going to hurt someone or himself soon.
SO PLZ anyone give me some advice on what to do..no b.s.ing plz…i need straight tactics…“talking and waiting for him to change” doesntwork..PLZ REPLY ASAP!!!
Tell him politely through wisdom that brave is not the person who vents out his anger at people, but the one who controls his anger. Whenever he gets angry, let him utilize that extra amount of energy in something positive, like working out in gym, jogging, working....etc. Tell him to write down all his thoughts when he is angry, take a long breath, have a glass of cold water and later read what he wrote on the paper when he was angry. He would definitely feel embarrassed for his thoughts. This is the claim of devil that a man can never escape him when angry, because at that time devil is running in his veins like blood and can easily persuade him to do ANYTHING, which he might regret later. Tell him to take a paper and write down all the benefits and losses that his anger has cost him up till now. Has anger helped him in overcoming stress, or in paying bills...? No mind works properly when one is angry, but this great amount of energy can do wonders for him in paying bills and getting good grades only if he is willing to utilize it for solving these problems.
Anger is one letter short of danger. Tell him that whenever he feels angry he should think of the consequences. He should be afraid of his own anger and he should himself drum it into his own mind that most of the violence, killing,...etc. that has occurred in the history has been due to anger. When people don't train themselves to control their anger, they only realize their mistakes when it is too late, and he sure doesn't want to spend time in jail and ruin his career, does he ?
If he is religious, tell him that a man who was trembling with anger with his blood boiling, suddenly became calm when he obeyed the order of the prophet (saw) and recited "A'uzu *billahi minashaitanir rajim"*** (I seek refuge of Allah from the outcast Satan.). **The prophet (saw) advised us to perform ablution (wudu) when angry, because anger is due to satan who is made of fire, and the best solution to fire is water. Shedding tears in front of Allah (swt) at night helps in developing humbleness and overcoming arrogance (which is one of the major roots of anger). Tell him that if we want to remain protected from the anger of our ULTIMATE LORD, we should refrain from getting angry at HIS creations. Anger is a sign of arrogance and a person who has even a bit of arrogance would not be allowed to enter heaven, we all know why the devil was kicked out of the paradise.