and so she

Lifestyle Relationships
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I couldn't figure out to how to post this as a new blog, @SID_NY , it says I'm not authorized. so posting here

and so she started packing up her things, mind hazy on where to begin. all the memories which were created, suddenly were never to be reminisced of together. current evidences of such, already brought down, to be eventually thrown away just like the relationship she is forced to walk away from.

and so she sat on her once warm bed, stared at the mirror, inspecting every inch, until her eyes grew numb. this was the face she was told, that was "frustrating". the face she almost started to hate, wondering if there was a way to change it

and so she got up to leave. she stared at every room, giving each one a personal goodbye, expecting the walls to scream, "don't go". but maybe those even wanted her gone.

and so she got in the car, not even paying attention to anything except the door, the lawn, the grass, reminding herself of the day they bought it, how happy they were to have a home, to start a family, she could picture her kids playing in the backyard, which will now be forever void of their innocent laughter.

and so she drove away, heart heavy, salty waterfalls not ending, screaming, yelling, for him to come running to her and take her back. miracles happen right? but not this time.

and so she waits for her inner demons to fully take over, and that process has already started. scared, lost, untrusting, alone. these inner demons are here to stay, for a long while, if not forever.

and so she is no longer herself, doesn't know what to stand for anymore, her values questioned, her thoughts scarred. once a love filled girl, now questions why someone would even say hi to her without wanting something in return, to be used.

and so she thinks, how lucky are those who have someone to care for them, to love them, and fight for one another.

and so she laughs with huge tears, having that may not be in her destiny,

and so she thinks, what's the point?

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And sooo the Redvelvet just pictured him…(for some odd reason)…in a pair of prissy white knickers…the Opera music nearing crescendo with each effeminate stride that he takes toward his former Princess…Feegaro…Feegarooo…when suddenly he loses his balance and flies headlong into a muddy, horse trough. :teary1:

And so the horses think, “What was the point?” :konfused:

It’s natural to think about the things we’ve lost…but don’t allow yourself to dwell on them for too long.

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To OP,

You really need to accept atleast one advice out of so many in your previous thread. Almost all said the guy didn’t deserve you & you’re better off without him. You said you made alot of prayers & the next thing that happened was divorce. Why can’t you accept that as Allah’s decision in your best interest? Unless you trust Allah & the mysterious ways in which His angels work, you will keep sinking into the pool of depression aka shayateen & their company.

Don’t punish yourself so much for wrong choices in life.

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I am trying to accept, I have been working on that

3 Likes
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Don’t bottle up your emotions. Feel them and then let go. Cry your heart out, go numb and then let go.
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I know what it is like to allow the past to overwhelm you to such a point that it robs you of soo much from your present. Been there, done that. Visit the past, but dont dwell there. Time will dull the pain…even if you dont believe in this at the moment. To vent your feelings is cathartic, but only to a point. When you relive it too much, it can even work against you and hold u back,

And then one day you reach this stage where the realization that you wasted time and energy on someone so unworthy will actually sting more than the recollection of their rejection/betrayal…and I know that such a state seems like an impossibility right now…but it will come.

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@akaprincess i sent you PM re blog. Plz check

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.

@redvelvet
appii aap annoy bohat jaldi ho jaty he… ap tu kehty he k bas mene tu suggestions di he woh bas agla banda maan le nahi tu aap “annoy” ho jaaty he… others r humans nit machines aappiii … humans take time…they r emotional beings aappii… ab sab ao ki tarha perfect tu he nahi jo har tough situation me “ideal” aur “perefct” act kare… naseehate kar kar ke amma banana boht asaan hta he appii jis ke sath ho rahi hoty he bas usay hi pata hota he … tu aap annoy thora kum hua kare

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Madame Boudoir,

Akaprincess and I are friends outside of GS and we share a very good rapport with one another. I know details of her situation and I will not share them out of respect for her privacy. If Akaprincess is not upset at me, then why are you so outraged? Moreover, I had clarified the context and purpose behind my joke and subsequent posts. But you failed to comprehend this due to your personal bias toward me and also because you have never been open to the sound advice that you have received from so many members. You would much rather that people validate your feelings of frustration and give you a shabashi for all your childish whinging. There are so many Ammas and Abbas and Uncles and Aunties who have tried to knock some sense in your head…but you insist on acting like a ziddi child. Look, it’s very obvious that your persistent address of Aapi is a tanz and a very foolish (and petty) one at that…because while you do have the choice not to grow up (and we know that lil’ Munni doesn’t wanna grow up)…you are not immune to growing older. Anyhow…carry on.

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@bourjois, there is no reason to attack redvelvet like that. She has some of the best advice one can give to another person

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@akaprincess

It’s okay to be disappointed that someone didn’t turn out to be the person that you needed, but what you mustn’t do is grieve as though they were the one.
Mathew Hussey

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I have my moments where I am semi functional.. but the majority of the time, I’m just numb.

I have lost myself t a certain extent, and am trying to prevent that from further happening.. it’s a struggle. but I am trying. I’m trying not to dwell, trying no to question, trying to be hopeful (HA). When I crash, I just have to pick myself up again, because no one else can do that but me.

I have to accept and move on.

I am also tying to refrain from talking about it too much with friends, I don’t want to be that debby downer constantly, so when I see them, I put my happy face on a nd try my best not to make comments or anything of the sort. when in reality I just want to scream and cry, but I refrain.

that’s why I come here to vent too.

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I am still considering therapy, haven’t made a firm decision on it.

I did go on a mini vacation recently, didn’t change a single thing except my skin color. waste of time and money

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Hi akaprinces.. haven’t been able to respond to your thread. But i want to say that..Allah is with you. It will take sometime to get over it. And at times, you will feel angry and upset. When that happens..remember that you’re making yourself..much stronger. And you will come out much stronger than you’re at the moment.

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Why write in third party? Will I see it soon on Hum TV?