An awkward situation

[NomiCA]

Re: An awkward situation

Take the bite, swallow and smile and say “Thank you very much…we are delighted that you considered us and our daughter worthy of this..we will consult within our family and let you know later on”..

hor kuch puchna te puch lo…i am still online

[TLK]

Re: An awkward situation

@Niksik

Will the aloo fall out of the samosa and drop on your floor, or will you take the bite, swallow and smile?

the best way is to not react. Smile and say that “this was quite a surprise, I am not sure what to say. Although I feel honored but this is not the matter where I can say yes or no about without talking to my husband and certainly not without talking to my daughter. Aur sunaa’ain kiya haal chal hain?”

[BlueBells]

Re: An awkward situation

Bite on the samosa, smile and offer them a pakora as well.
You aren’t expected to say yes right away. If they expect you to say yes without even asking your daughter then something is wrong with the picture altogether. Just say you’ll ask your daughter and get back to her and try to hold a poker face meanwhile. Try not to show what your decision would be eventually.

[BlueBells]

Re: An awkward situation

Even though TLK and NomiCA said the same thing, I win because I’m a woman.

[firenze]

Re: An awkward situation

@Niksik

So let’s say your daughter gets a proposal from a very close family friend for their son, but you don’t like that guy for your daughter for some reason, not a character issue, but since you know them so well, you’ve seen many weaknesses of that boy. How do you reject it without offending your friend?

everyone should refrain from first & second cousin marriages.

[Sehrysh]

Re: An awkward situation

My reaction

Then, after I picked my jaw up off the floor and contrived to smile at them, I would say:
Aap nay bari achi baat kahi hai ham say. Lekin, fil-waqt, hamnay is baat pay ghoar nahin kiya hai. Pehlay, hammay apnay ghar waalon say mashwira karna hoga aur phir apnay beti say uski ray’ee mangni hogi, keh woh is waqt shaadi kai liyay tayaar hai bhi ya nahin. Us ki marzi liyay baghair koi faisla nahin kiya ja sakta hai. Yeh bil akhir zindagi bhar ka muamla hai, jald baazi munasib nahin.
And then I would offer them another samosa/namkeen and more tea

Do not offer them something sweet, they’ll consider that to be like doing moonh meetha and you don’t want that at all!

Drat - I gave the same answer as TLK and Nomi! I guess better late than never.

[BlueBells]

Re: An awkward situation

@Sehrysh

My reaction

Then, after I picked my jaw up off the floor and contrived to smile at them, I would say:
Aap nay bari achi baat kahi hai ham say. Lekin, fil-waqt, hamnay is baat pay ghoar nahin kiya hai. Pehlay, hammay apnay ghar waalon say mashwira karna hoga aur phir apnay beti say uski ray’ee mangni hogi, keh woh is waqt shaadi kai liyay tayaar hai bhi ya nahin. Us ki marzi liyay baghair koi faisla nahin kiya ja sakta hai. Yeh bil akhir zindagi bhar ka muamla hai, jald baazi munasib nahin.
And then I would offer them another samosa/namkeen and more tea

Do not offer them something sweet, they’ll consider that to be like doing moonh meetha and you don’t want that at all

Drat - I gave the same answer as TLK and Nomi! I guess better late than never.

And me! How come I get ignored? I know I might not be as pretty as these two but I ought to get some credit, no? ok

[TLK]

Re: An awkward situation

@Sehrysh

Aap nay bari achi baat kahi hai ham say. Lekin, fil-waqt, hamnay is baat pay ghoar nahin kiya hai. Pehlay, hammay apnay ghar waalon say mashwira karna hoga aur phir apnay beti say uski ray’ee mangni hogi, keh woh is waqt shaadi kai liyay tayaar hai bhi ya nahin.

how about, O I am sorry, its an honor but you are little late. Sakeena (daughter’s name) kee baat hum ne pichle hafte hee kaheen pakki kardi hai.

[firenze]

Re: An awkward situation

@TLK

how about, O I am sorry, its an honor but you are little late. Sakeena (daughter’s name) kee baat hum ne pichle hafte hee kaheen pakki kardi hai.

wow.. i didn’t know you are so old.. .. shcok!

[BlueBells]

Re: An awkward situation

@TLK

how about, O I am sorry, its an honor but you are little late. Sakeena (daughter’s name) kee baat hum ne pichle hafte hee kaheen pakki kardi hai.

They’ll expect an invitation to Sakeena’s wedding very soon then. How will you go around faking that one TLK.
Soch kar zara.

[Sehrysh]

Re: An awkward situation

@TLK

how about, O I am sorry, its an honor but you are little late. Sakeena (daughter’s name) kee baat hum ne pichle hafte hee kaheen pakki kardi hai.

But then you need to produce the goods, aka the fiance. That’s even more awkward when it turns out your daughter doesn’t have a fiance.

@BlueBells

And me! How come I get ignored? I know I might not be as pretty as these two but I ought to get some credit, no? ok

And Blue, sorry, I missed your comment

[TLK]

Re: An awkward situation

@BlueBells

They’ll expect an invitation to Sakeena’s wedding very soon then. How will you go around faking that one TLK.
Soch kar zara.

@Sehrysh

But then you need to produce the goods, aka the fiance. That’s even more awkward when it turns out your daughter doesn’t have a fiance.

:

baat pakki kar dee hai, family pakistan main rehti hai, 3 saal se pehlay nikah mumkin nahi …

ok ok i am just throwing it. original reply of nomica, blue and sehrysh is good enough

[NomiCA]

Re: An awkward situation

I am right as always again

[BlueBells]

Re: An awkward situation

@Sehrysh

And Blue, sorry, I missed your comment

Why thank you! That does make me feel better
I expected more of something like you saying I’m as pretty as them two but this will have to do for now. hugs

[TLK]

Re: An awkward situation

@BlueBells

I’m as pretty as them two but this will have to do for now

pretty as Nomica and I?

keep dreaming girl

[njgal]

Re: An awkward situation

@Niksik

Will the aloo fall out of the samosa and drop on your floor, or will you take the bite, swallow and smile? What would you say if you really can’t imagine this happening…chances are that you too have thought about this situation before and have secretly hoped that it would never come up?

Eat the samosa and ask for one more.

[redvelvet]

Re: An awkward situation

@Niksik

initial approach.

Suppose one fine evening, you’re having chai and these good friends of yours ring the doorbell and come in with a big smile. You welcome them and have chai together, and just when you’re about to take a bite into that crispy samosa, your friend says: “Today we’re here with a proposal. We’ve been thinking about this for a while and we’ve known your family for years. Nothing will give us greater pleasure than having your daughter as our bahu.”

Tell them that you need to think about the issue and that it depends upon how your daughter feels…because marriage is an issue that will affect the children more than the parents…as it’s their life. Then you tell them that since you and your husband would allow your children’s decision to be of greater importance…that it’s a possibility that the answer may be a “No” and that whatever the outcome…you hope that it wouldn’t affect the friendship. *So basically you’re telling them it’s something to think about/discuss with your child.

***THEN…you get back to the guy’s parents and let them know that your daughter was flattered and that she has a lot of respect for (the family friends) but she has always seen their son as a brother and respects him as a brother. Then again…you tell the family that you hope the friendship will not be affected…your give some compliments about their son (how wonderful he is)…and wish them the best. Baat khatam.

[system]

Re: An awkward situation

A marriage rishta was sent for me but got rejected the similar way… My parents excuse was: my daughter is young so we are not thinking about it… 2nd time it got rejected after 2yrs by saying, “our daughter dont seem to be a compatible match for your son, she requires someone with a master degree”

@Niksik

Ok so let’s say you do what NomiCA says and tell them that your daughter isn’t ready…but I’m talking about the initial approach.

Suppose one fine evening, you’re having chai and these good friends of yours ring the doorbell and come in with a big smile. You welcome them and have chai together, and just when you’re about to take a bite into that crispy samosa, your friend says: “Today we’re here with a proposal. We’ve been thinking about this for a while and we’ve known your family for years. Nothing will give us greater pleasure than having your daughter as our bahu.”

Will the aloo fall out of the samosa and drop on your floor, or will you take the bite, swallow and smile? What would you say if you really can’t imagine this happening…chances are that you too have thought about this situation before and have secretly hoped that it would never come up?

[Naabigh]

Re: An awkward situation

No matter how politely you do that - it does leave some stains on your friendship …

[partyslims]

Re: An awkward situation

Anyone else craving samoosa after reading this? No? Just me then.