American to marry Pakistani

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: American to marry Pakistani

thank you all for the great advice I plan to travel in april there for a 2 weeks stay I'm sure it will take getting use too but I'm willing to go and explore new boundaries .

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

lol why would you change your name that your parents gave you? doesn't that just lose the whole point of respecting your parents.

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

Lahore in general is very safe and secure. It's a major city with a population of 5 million people. So, it will come with its fair share of crime but in comparison its nor different to a similar city in the US. The people are moderately minded and as long as you blend in you should be fine.

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

For Elite class everything is fine ...it is the poor that is suffering from terrorism.
I say you visit and see. and please don't get killed :)

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Have u never met this guy in person??? Sorry if I read wrongly but you have only seen him on webcam? J would advise you to only marry him If you meet him and spend a considerable amount of time with him. A move to a Pakistan will be tough, depends on which social class he is from, his job etc. and bringing him to the US will be even harder! Visas can take years to get issued. Are u sure his family will want him to wait 2-3 yrs to get married? How old are u guys?? I would be very careful with this. He may have gd intentions, but not all odds will be in your favor. I agree with others that he will be investigated thoroughly and may have difficulty getting a US visa. Gd luck!

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

urghhh sounds like a death trap to me! whether it's pakistan or not, no girl should be travelling to an unstable, low-income country where people are desperate to leave. Don't do it. And don't go alone if you do, take a friend or relative with you. Yes the wealthy and educated live amazing lives, but we don't know what kind of job, house or what area of Lahore your fiance lives in. And they've given you a name without meeting you? I'm married to a white man - he converted but there was no Islamic requirement for him to change his name.

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

i didnt legally change it and I'm still called by my name just out of respect for the elders in Pakistan with them being highly religious, since i was learning to convert to islam about 4 years ago ( for myself and allah not for anyone ) they gave me a islamic name which my own family tends to use from time to time

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

it is ONLY to get green card ... run fast ....its no love its all USA ...i am sorry but that is the only thing it is.

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

Hello! So did you end up going to pakistan? I am also an American and I'm hoping the embassy will approve my visa

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

Both hibba and ameera… i am sorry to say but most probably, behind the love of yours pakistani boys, there is an attraction of green card is hidden :smokin:

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

Hi

My parents are Pakistani, however I was born and raised in America. My situation was slightly different than yours in the sense that I understood the culture very well because of my parents. However, I was still with an American mentality. I had an arranged marriage with someone in Pakistan, and had similar feelings as yours when I was going there for the first time.

Don't rely on the media to be your source of security, because you will not want to go then. Pakistan is a big country and not all parts are scary! If you know him well and trust him, there should be no problems. Wearing shalwar kameez or abaya will help you blend in.

Which City are you going to? I think it will be a great experience and you will love it. Please visit the "US embassy in Pakistan" website for additional information regarding safety.

My experience was great and has been great now for the past 7 years, alhumdulilah. We have lived in Pakistan for a few years and have moved now to Muscat.

I wish you well. Good luck.

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

Not always. Being a US citizen, when I was marrying someone in Pakistan - everyone told me the same thing. He is only after your status or a green card. My husband has never considered going to the US, never applied, and never plans on it. Not everyone is the same you know! There are people out there that are still honest.

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

^ That's true that we should not generalize this, but we have too many cases of broken hearts. its like caution those who want to jump in and take on life's biggest adventure. I better have all the information then be blindfolded.

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

Very valid point. I also find it hard to believe that a wealthy Pakistani was looking to get married online, seems kind of fishy. And if this guy isn't wealthy, then there will be major issues after marriage. Its very easy to maintain an online relationship, real life is a whole other ball game.

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

hahahahah... totally agree!

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

I think your situation is completely different than these girls. You're Pakistani. You yourself admitted that you know the Pakistani culture very well b/c of your parents. And I imagine your parents were able to "check up" on the guy's family before the marriage to find out basic info.

These girls are not Pakistani, they don't have their families doing any type of investigation to see if the guy's are lying about anything, the girl don't know the culture/language etc. Yet travelling to Pakistan (I assume alone, without their parents) and meeting/marrying a man they have NEVER met before in person is not something to take lightly. And God forbid their physical safety becomes an issue once they're in PK.....who's going to be there to help them?

Heck even with families involved, desi girls get pressured into agreeing to things that they're not comfortable with. So IN CASE the men these 2 are chatting with end up being jerks (or their families aren't one of the "nice" ones), I'd hate to imagine what situation they could be stuck in once they're in Pakistan by themselves.

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Re: American to marry Pakistani

I agree with you wholeheartedly! Everything you said makes complete sense. I know of several PAKISTANI origin girls who were taken to Pakistan with the pretense of visiting, and once there their families pressured them into getting married.

One of my good friends even went through a terrible ordeal for a whole year. Her US passport was taken and hidden away by the family, and basically she was told she had to marry the guy they chose otherwise she wouldn't go back to America. And by the way, this girl was engaged to a guy in the US when her family took her to Pakistan under the pretense of shopping for the wedding.

If that can happen to girls who are Pakistani, I shudder to think how a non-Pakistani would cope. Hibba needs to visit, along with someone close to her IN ADDITION to a good, sincere American friend of Pakistani origin who knows the ins and outs of that country.

By the way, isn't it odd that his parents and family are so ecstatic that their son is marrying a complete stranger who they've never met? It doesn't fit the cultural norms of Pakistan where people are against their children's choices based on love EVEN when the perspective girl/guy is of the same culture and upbringing.

Sorry for sounding negative, but it doesn't hurt to be practical and prepared. Its entirely possible that the whole family is so happy and accepting of Hibba because they're expecting once their son is an American, he's going to bring them to the US too. They might be seeing her as their ticket out of Pakistan. Him (and them) not mentioning this topic at all could be a calculated move to make Hibba think that's not what they're after.