American Muslim talking about marriage with Pakistani Muslim

[Chipotle]

Re: American Muslim talking about marriage with Pakistani Muslim

@esenabel

Hello

I recently met a guy that is from Pakistan but went to undergrad/grad school in the US and has been here for over 12 years now. I am religious and so I do not think “dating” before marriage is okay. If you are going to talk to a man (we are both in our later 20’s) it is for a more than friend purpose that will lead to marriage. We have discussed marriage and he said he could see himself marrying me in a year or so… but we are still figuring all of this out. His parents now know about me. He is well educated, has a great job and we have the same beliefs in every area. His company is working on his green card right now, so I do not believe that there is an underlying reason for him wanting to be with me. Our differences lie in our cultural backgrounds - I was born and raised in America. I am Arab-Muslim but he says I am more white than anything haha. I want to know if the cultural/family issues will be a big deal? He says that his parents will respect his decision so long as I am Muslim and willing to learn some of the cultural things that he enjoys. I am willing to do this as I do believe I might be in love with him. He is also going back to Pakistan for possibly a few months soon, and had we not met he knows that his parents wanted him to meet someone to marry while he is there. Should I be worried that he might meet someone anyway and get married while he is away?

I would really love some feedback or insight into the cultural traditions/background that might effect the relationship. Are there any other american pakistani couple experiences out there?

Best,

E

Don’t involve yourself until he returns back from Pakistan, I hate to generalize and I don’t want to doubt his intentions still I want to tell you what he MIGHT have in his mind.

As you mentioned his GC is in process so he might be in the stage of his I-485 where he can bring his spouse from Pakistan asap, as compared to once he gets his GC the waiting period is around 4-5 years for spouses to come to US.
I should be giving him a benefit of doubt but being realistic me I am thinking that he’s just keeping you as a backup plan i.e. his GC approval date is coming near (taking in account of 12 years residency and based on the assumption of him taking the F1->H1 route for his GC) so in case he does not find any suitable rishta back home he can always come back to you and marry you.
But if he does find a young, pretty, desi, favored by his parents, humsafar’s cultured heroine kindda girl he will make an excuse of his parents not being comfortable with the idea or you not being culturally compatible.

So take your steps with caution and best of luck